Welcome to Karakura Orphanage
by Blue Sky White Clouds
Summary: [AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.
1. Arrival

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **I began writing this story as a breather from studying for my midterms last semester. I got back into Bleach and began re-watching the series online. The story, meant to be a one-shot at most, evolved into something massive. There might be minor grammar or spelling mistakes, but again, I wrote this story for my own fancy. I don't mind comments/reviews, as long as they're helpful. With that said, please enjoy the story.

* * *

"Welcome to Karakura Orphanage!"

Ichigo said nothing in response to the bubbly woman who welcomed him.

"Supervisor Matsumoto, this is Ichigo Kurosaki, the one I told you about on the phone..."

Ichigo held his head up high as the social worker next to him began quietly conversing with the orphanage's supervisor. His backpack felt heavy but he bore it without complaint.

A light wind played with his orange locks of hair, and Ichigo took the chance to actually look at the place he would be staying at for an indefinite amount of time.

The orphanage wasn't luxurious-looking or unique in any way. From afar, it looked like an ordinary house. Granted, it was a bit larger than the surrounding houses, but nothing else really differentiated it except for a bronze placard nailed to the front gate which held its purpose deeply engraved.

_Karakura Orphanage._

Ichigo was well-aware of what this place was. The social workers had handled him like glass, and had tried to embellish the concept as much as possible, delicately telling him some things but omitting others, but at the end he still knew, that this was a place for children who had nowhere to go and no one to take them.

This was where children without purpose gathered. He was one of them.

Ichigo's grip tightened on his backpack strap.

"Well then, Ichigo, Ms. Matsumoto will take care of you from here on out," the social worker said kindly, giving him a gentle pat on the back.

"Thank you," he replied, his voice still young but hardened with his tragic circumstances.

Supervisor Matsumoto didn't look troubled at Ichigo's behaviour, and merely waved the other adult goodbye, while guiding Ichigo towards the orphanage with her other hand on his shoulder.

"Ichigo, I'll give you a tour around here and show you where you need to get settled..."

Ichigo listened to the older woman, responding only when he had to with small nods. As they made their way around to the door, Ichigo noticed curious gazes on him.

He turned his head to a window on the second floor, to see several children staring at him with wide eyes.

As soon as they noticed their stares being returned, they quickly pulled shut the curtain. Matsumoto noticed the child next to her slowing down, and followed his gaze to a swaying curtain.

She chuckled.

"Don't worry, Ichigo. You'll meet everyone soon."

Ichigo immediately looked forward again, trying to look like he didn't care but failed miserably as he kept sneaking imperceptible looks back to the window.

.

The inside of the orphanage was homely. Matsumoto motioned him to take his shoes off.

Ichigo did as he was told, but kept his socks on as he stepped into the unfamiliar hall. Matsumoto began taking him through the first floor.

"Here is the living room, where we receive guests and possible foster parents. This is the dining room, but we usually have our meals at the kitchen's breakfast table. Back there is the kitchen, where you will be assigned to help out from time to time. Through this door is the bath, and over there is the backyard..."

She had barely mentioned the backyard, when Ichigo instinctively speeded up to the backyard's glass door. He observed how the grass was green and even, and marvelled at the backyard itself, as it was larger in size than he had expected; a small sandbox was in the corner and a soccer ball lay next to it.

"Children generally get excited when they see the backyard," Matsumoto's amused voice floated from behind him.

Ichigo spun, embarrassed at being caught and he shyly refused to meet the woman's face, afraid of the mocking expression he might find there.

He walked past Matsumoto and waited for her in the hall. Still amused, she continued their tour. As they went upstairs to the second level, Ichigo stared at the drawings hung low on the walls. Several of them were bizarre. For example, one was of a crayon picture of snake with red fur around its neck and a skeletal body. Another was of drawn with coloured pencils of a samurai standing in what looked like pink flowers. There was another drawing of what looked like a honey bee. Another was a pencil drawing of seemed to be a giant dragon.

He looked to Matsumoto for an explanation, but she continued walking up the stairs with her back towards him, so she missed his expression of surprise.

As they reached the top of the staircase, Matsumoto asked him a question instead.

"Ichigo, how old are you?"

Ichigo looked at her blankly.

"Didn't they tell you?"

"I want to hear it from you."

Her eyes glittered with something Ichigo couldn't place, and it unnerved him.

"...I'm twelve."

"Ah, then you're the oldest one here."

Ichigo looked at her.

"I... am?"

Matsumoto gave him a mysterious smile, and didn't answer as she walked down the hall.

"These will be your living quarters Ichigo."

She motioned him to move back. Confused, but doing as he was told, Ichigo took a step backwards. She opened the door, and bodies which were previously leaning on the door tumbled out.

"-Ow!"

"-Hey!"

"-That was meaaan, Rangiku!"

"Get off of me Ken!"

"Bya is on me!"

"Don't call me that. Get off, Snowy."

"M'name is Tōshirō!"

"Enough!" Matsumoto said loudly over the din of voices."Stand!"

Quickly, the children shuffled up and stood in single-file. Each of them noticed the new face, and stared at Ichigo openly, who shifted uncomfortably at the attention.

Matsumoto poked her head into the room.

"That includes you two as well Rukia and Soi Fon."

Two girls slowly stepped out of the room, looking at the harried boys in distaste. Nonetheless, they joined the line, next to Kiyone.

"Now what were all of you doing?"

"Tryin' ta see the new kid first!" A red haired kid yelled proudly, "And I sawed him first!"

"Ren, you liar!" A boy and a girl spoke in synchronized indignant voices, "We sawed him firstest!"

"No ways, I was firstest! Me!" A boy with black spiked hair grinned, his teeth somewhat oddly jagged. He wore a black eyepatch over his right eye.

"No more talking! Renji, Kiyone, Sentarō, and Kenpachi, another word out of you fighting, and there will be no dessert tonight for any of you."

They all hushed in light of Matsumoto's threat. The older woman turned, the curls in her hair bouncing.

"I'm surprised that Byakuya and Tōshirō took part in this."

Tōshirō shrugged, looking away and not answering.

"I was curious," Byakuya responded evenly.

"Well, at least Rukia and Soi Fon are behaving themselves," Matsumoto sighed.

"That's what ya think! Ru and Soi actually used the markers to draw girly stuff on their feet!"

"Ren!" Both girls hissed at Renji's tattling.

Matsumoto's eye twitched, as she requested Rukia and Soi Fon take off their socks. They did so hesitantly, and their misdeed was revealed in shades of blue, green and purple.

"Oh, for goodness sake, you two did this again? Go wash that off right now!"

The girls hurried and picked up their socks and dashed to the washrooms downstairs instead of using the ones upstairs, before they could be scolded any farther. Matsumoto massaged her temples; a headache was slowly but surely making its presence known.

"Now, this is..."

A baby's wail tore through the hall loudly, and Matsumoto looked like she was about to curse.

"Yachiwu is up!" Kenpachi cheered as he broke away from the line, and rushed off to what looked to be the direction to the baby's room.

"Wait!" Matsumoto called, but Kenpachi was already gone. "Argh, I'll be right back Ichigo, I have to go check on Yachiru."

She jogged down another hallway, leaving Ichigo gaping in shock behind her as he stood in the hallway with the other children.

.

They listened to her fading steps, before the hallway was filled with silence again, only broken with the sounds of water echoing from the downstairs bathroom where the girls scrubbed marker off their skin.

Ichigo fidgeted nervously, as he still felt stares on him. He took in a deep breath and met them.

"What?"

Renji had a challenging expression on his face, as if sizing Ichigo up. Byakuya looked thoughtful, while Tōshirō looked uncaring but seemed to want to catch Ichigo's eye. Kiyone and Sentarō exchanged glances with each other.

"What's yer name?" Renji asked, all brash and not a bit timid.

"That's Ichigo Kurosaki," Byakuya stated plainly.

All eyes turned to him with raised eyebrows.

"What? I saw his name on the new attendance list."

A dawned understanding was shared, and all attention was again focused on Ichigo.

"How old are ya?" Renji asked again, seeming to represent all the other curious children.

Ichigo thought about not answering, already feeling awkward with the bold boy, but he replied.

"I'm twelve."

The results were instantaneous. Renji pointed a finger at him and mouthed 'twelve', Byakuya looked at Ichigo with greater interest, Tōshirō seemed to look up and down at Ichigo wondering if the other was lying, and Kiyone and Sentarō were the first to audibly react.

"But thaaaat meeeeans," Kiyone and Sentarō spoke, still in synchronized voices, and great dramatic flair "Bya's littler!"

Apparently, this was inconceivable.

Aside from the boy with long black hair who muttered 'don't call me that', everyone seemed stunned. Byakuya rolled his eyes, an act he despised but seemed to be doing an awful lot in the company he was forced to keep.

"They mean," Byakuya started slowly, as if explaining things to a toddler or trying to speak with a baby like Yachiru, "that I've been the oldest here; until now."

He looked at Ichigo as if expecting something. Ichigo felt overwhelmed. He felt like he'd been pushed to some grand responsibility, as they all looked expectantly at him anticipating some sort of older kid wisdom he supposedly would have. They waited patiently, and he bit his lip.

"Uhm, t-that's nice, I mean, being the oldest is nice, or uh, must have been nice, but I guess I'm oldest now so, I, uh," he tried to formulate some answer, but couldn't grasp one. Yet with his stuttered and unsure answer the damage had already been done, as Byakuya adopted a bored look, and he could hear Tōshirō with his bright white hair discretely whisper under his breath 'Oh great, another Ren'.

Kiyone and Sentarō, who looked to be the youngest of the group, still attentively hung onto Ichigo's every word. Renji rose an eyebrow waiting for Ichigo to say something more than just stutter and ramble.

Luckily, Ichigo was saved by loud steps coming from the other side, and he realized Matsumoto was coming back. He visibly relaxed as she came into view holding what looked to be a pink-haired doll.

The boy with the spiked black hair followed with a childish grin, as he made faces to the pink thing over Matsumoto's shoulder.

"Sorry for leaving you so abruptly, Ichigo. I hope you were all nice to your new friend?" Matsumoto asked looking at the other children.

A 'yes' said in unison was the response.

"Good, then, allow me to introduce everyone. Ichigo, the one who needs a haircut is Byakuya Kuchiki. He is ten years old."

"I do not need a haircut," Byakuya immediately interjected, his long bangs falling into his eyes traitorously as he said so.

"Of course you don't, Princess," Matsumoto answered sarcastically, and before Byakuya could argue the humiliating nickname, Matsumoto moved on leaving Byakuya to silently glare at her while the others stifled giggles.

"The one with the blinding white hair is Tōshirō Hitsugaya, who is seven years old," Matsumoto poked his cheek.

"M'hair isn't blinding! And stop touchin' me!"

"He also has a charming personality."

Tōshirō fumed, joining Byakuya in glaring at the woman.

"The one with the red hair is Renji Abarai, he is also seven years old."

"An' I'm the bestest at everthin'!" Renji said smugly.

"Except for eating his vegetables," Matsumoto supplied unhelpfully. He made a face at her.

"Thas' jus' 'cause they tastes bleh!"

But Matsumoto had already continued introducing the others.

"And these are the twins, Kiyone and Sentarō, and both are five years old."

Ichigo looked at them then, closely. Before he could ask, Matsumoto answered his unasked question.

"They're fraternal twins," at his blank stare, she explained, "that means they look different even if they're twins. They get along alright, unless they find something to disagree about. Then they won't shut the he- shut the helicopter up."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at her language, but it seemed to be a common occurrence as no one else reacted at her peculiar word choice.

She turned, "Behind me is Kenpachi Zaraki, who is six years old."

The boy with the spiked hair flashed him a grin, which had some sort of threatening angle to it, but Ichigo sincerely hoped he was reading the expression wrong.

"M'gonna be a piwate," Kenpachi pointed to his eyepatch.

"I told you, Kenpachi, being a pirate is not a good job choice for the future," Matsumoto chided, but had a small grin on her face. She turned back to Ichigo.

"And this little dear is the one year old, Yachiru Kusajishi."

"And she's my lil sis!" Kenpachi stated, looking about himself proudly.

Ichigo wondered why their last names differed if they were siblings, but promptly forgot as Matsumoto showed him the bundle in her arms.

Matsumoto leaned down, and Ichigo realized the pink haired doll in the older woman's arms was actually a wide-eyed baby.

Suddenly there were steps on the stairs, Matsumoto craned her neck and covered the babies ears as she shouted, "No running up the stairs!"

The steps halted and became softer as they reached up, and Rukia and Soi Fon appeared moments later looking sheepishly at their clean feet. Apparently, they had likely had some sort of water battle, as both girls' short hair clung to their faces and their cheeks were flushed red.

"Good grief," Matsumoto shook her head, "Ichigo, the one with the short black hair is younger Byakuya's sister, Rukia Kuchiki. The girl next to her with the braids is Soi Fon. They're both six years old."

Rukia and Soi Fon joined the line of children, observing Ichigo.

"And everyone, this orange one here is Ichigo Kurosaki. He's twelve years old, older than all of you, so I expect you all to show him respect. Everyone make friends with him and show him the ropes, okay?"

A loud 'okay' was the answer from everyone.

And just like that, she left Ichigo on his own again, baby in tow and being followed by Kenpachi who continued making faces to amuse his sister.

.

As soon as she left, Rukia and Soi Fon turned to him in surprise.

"Yer twelve?" Rukia blurted out in awe, in an accent that seemed eerily like Renji's.

"He's anotha Ren," Kiyone and Sentarō sang, "Thas' wha' Snowy saaaid."

"Stop callin' me Snowy!"

Renji turned to Tōshirō.

"Wha' did ya say about me, Snowy?!"

"Oh, thas' too bad," Rukia looked at Ichigo in pity at his misfortune in being someone comparable to Renji, and seemed genuinely disappointed, infuriating Renji even more.

Ichigo just felt horribly out-of-place.

He felt a tug at his sleeve. Byakuya looked at him and pointed a finger to another room.

"Rangiku told us about you. You are going to stay with me and Tōshirō."

"Why does he hafta stay with you guys?" Renji pouted, "I wanna play with him!"

"Because Rangiku said so," Byakuya replied coolly.

"Uhm, excuse me," Ichigo dared to venture as all eyes turned to him, "just who is Rangiku?"

They looked at him as if he were as unintelligent as Yachiru.

"The lady," Soi Fon spoke up for the first time, "the lady who was jus' here, with the curly hair, and the bouncy-"

Byakuya cleared his throat. Soi Fon glared at being interrupted.

"Oh, you mean supervisor Matsumoto?" Ichigo continued on obliviously, missing the exchange.

They looked at him strangely again.

"Who's Masu...toto?" Kiyone and Sentarō spoke.

"That's her last name," Byakuya explained turning to them.

"How come she din't tell us?" Kiyone spoke, and for once separately from Sentarō.

"She tell'd me," Sentarō said, puffing up his chest.

"Din't!" Kiyone fired back.

"Did too!" Sentarō returned just as energetically.

"Ugh, not this again," Soi Fon muttered, as she walked back into the room she and Rukia had come from.

"Bye bye," Rukia smiled as she followed Soi Fon.

"Din't!"

"Did too!"

The voices of the twins grew louder and shriller.

Suddenly, they could hear heavy steps returning up the stairs.

Renji grabbed Sentarō and dashed into their room, while Rukia tugged at Kiyone to theirs.

"C'mon," Tōshirō said, grabbing Ichigo's arm and pulling him into what he supposed was their shared room. "You don't wanna see Sa-Ko angry."

Before Ichigo could ask just who 'Sa-Ko' was, he was dragged off. Byakuya followed the two at a more leisurely pace.

Just as they had reached the room, Tōshirō all but threw Ichigo on a bed. He dove into a corner where there were many papers lying about. Byakuya casually sat on the bed opposite to Ichigo's and picked up a book.

Moments later, there was a loud knock on the door before it opened.

.

A large man stood there with long hair, and rippling muscles under his shirt. He observed the scene in the room before speaking in a deep voice.

"Is everything alright in here?"

"Yep!" Tōshirō was quick to answer. "Jus' workin' on my drawings!"

Byakuya flipped a page of his book.

The large man nodded and then his gaze landed on the sprawled boy on the bed. Ichigo shifted under the look and sat up partway.

"I understand you must be tired, but please refrain from sleeping at such a time of day."

Ichigo nodded at the reprimand, sitting up completely. Before the older man could leave, Ichigo's hesitant voice broke the quiet.

"Ah, uhm, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm new here."

The older man looked at Ichigo with a slight turn of his head.

"I was informed of who you are."

Ichigo felt like he was being scrutinized, as if the older man could see right through him.

"And uh, you must be Mr. Sa-Ko?"

At once, Tōshirō broke into laughter that he desperately tried to stop. He covered his mouth, but his laughs still bubbled through. He stared with wide eyes at Ichigo.

At the same time, Byakuya dropped his book onto his lap. He was clearly fighting back amusement, as his shoulders shuddered with mirth. His eyes went back and forth between Ichigo and the older man.

"...Sa-Ko?"

"Yes sir," Ichigo replied seriously, but had a sinking feeling in his stomach to the other two's reactions that he might've done something irrevocably wrong.

Slowly, the older man strode over to Ichigo, extending a bulging arm towards Ichigo.

All of a sudden, Tōshirō ceased laughing and Byakuya stood up.

Whatever they had been expecting next certainly was not what they saw.

The big man patted Ichigo on the head once, and then twice. He then turned and swiftly left the room.

Ichigo turned to stares of disbelief from his roommates.

"...What?"

"You- he- you just-," Tōshirō just sputtered, flailing his arms almost comically.

Byakuya swallowed, "That was Sajin Komamura, the caretaker here."

Byakuya returned to his book, although still looking a bit shaken and was chancing glances at Ichigo, clearly rethinking his opinion of the other boy.

"So what?" Ichigo was still confused by the extent of their attitudes.

"What d'ya mean 'so what'?! You're lucky to be alive aft'r that!" Tōshirō spoke in hushed tones, peeking at the door as he talked, as if the older man were going to pop out any minute.

"After what?"

"Callin' him Sa-Ko!" Tōshirō exploded.

"Well, isn't that what we call him?" Ichigo tilted his head.

"Ye- I mean no- argh, the point is not to go callin' him that in fron' of him! He'll eat you!"

"...Eat me?"

Byakuya shut his book and gave up all pretenses of reading. He walked to Tōshirō, and lightly whacked the younger boy's head with the book.

"What was that for?!" Tōshirō spun, holding his head.

"You're being overemotional. Stop it," Byakuya replied.

Byakuya looked at Ichigo with a strange light in his eyes.

"And he doesn't eat anyone, but Sa-Ko isn't known for being kind. Don't get on his bad side."

"But he was nice to me," Ichigo argued.

"I know," Byakuya answered, "which is why I'm curious. Have you met before?"

At Ichigo's reply of a negative, Byakuya studied Ichigo for a moment and returned to his side of the room.

"We should let you get settled before anything else. Dinner is in another hour."

After that, Byakuya didn't speak a word. Tōshirō, still growling, returned to his corner and soon became engrossed in whatever he was up to.

Having nothing else to do, Ichigo unbuckled his backpack.

.

There weren't many things Ichigo needed; everything was provided for in the orphanage.

Yet he couldn't stop himself from packing pieces of fond memories.

He began taking out things carefully, as if they would shatter in his grasp. Here was a mug made by Yuzu in her high school art class, using a kiln. She had written Ichigo's name on it in bright pink while the rest of the mug was orange. Not having the heart to reject something from Yuzu, he had taken it no matter how ugly he had thought it was. Now, he was ever so grateful for keeping it.

There was a keychain with a plastic soccer ball. It still held keys that would never be used to open anything again. On the soccer ball, Karin had written her initials in bold permanent marker, but Ichigo noted wistfully, that even the permanent marker had begun chipping away.

There were many miscellaneous things like these, like little flower-shaped erasers, a broken watch, a small sewing kit, several hair clips, a variety of hair ties, and sheets of stickers. Each had their own meaning to Ichigo.

It was when Ichigo took out their family picture, filled with happy faces that would never be together again in such a perfect moment, that he let himself cry softly.

He barely noticed a small creak as Byakuya slid off his bed and wordlessly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He barely noticed Tōshirō make his way over, and put an arm around him in a half-embrace. He barely noticed that he was no longer crying quietly, but he was sobbing loudly, holding onto Tōshirō for dear life.

It was like that, that Ichigo became drowsy and found distressful sleep on his first day in the Karakura Orphanage.


	2. Friends

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **This was a quick update because I had chapter two all keyboarded and ready to go. If I get interest, I might continue updating at a faster pace like this but otherwise like I said, the updates might be sporadic. This chapter is relatively calm but has some underlying tensions. I just really like writing slice-of-life interactions between the children. This is also another chapter to set the story up, so don't worry the drama will be here soon enough.

* * *

The problem with the clock on the wall was that it was one of those clocks which chimed at the hour.

In the distant realms of slumber, Ichigo counted seven bells going off.

He was still tired and his mind was exhausted. After the seven chimes faded away, he was lulled into sleep once more.

Vaguely, he realized that it wasn't his bed that he was sleeping on. It wasn't hard per se, but the mattress itself was lumpy and uncomfortable. Nothing like the plush one he once had at home.

Home... Just thinking about it hurt. It pained him, thinking about the fact that for him, there was no home anymore.

In his sleep, he sniffled.

"If you cry on me again, I'mma hurt you."

The voice was right by his ear.

Fortunately, years of his father and sisters sneaking up on him in the mornings had trained him to be constantly vigilant and surprised of virtually nothing. Whether it had been his father pouncing on him as a good morning, or Karin easily carrying him in his sleep and promptly dropkicking him awake, or Yuzu innocently bringing in all her stuffed toys and eventually suffocating him with fuzzy plush animals that he was forced to wake up- to the majority of his family, 'wake Ichigo up' was another way to translate to 'make Ichigo suffer today'. Sometimes Ichigo wondered why he and his mother were the only ones with an iota of sanity in the family.

If nothing else was clear enough in his mind, at the very least these small memories came to him in tides. He couldn't remember much, but his memories of the happier times he had shared with his family were very strong, which felt like a bittersweet curse to him.

Essentially, the point here was the fact that nothing spooked Ichigo in the mornings, and not even a talking pillow in this case, was a valid reason to jump or shriek like a girl for Ichigo. Ichigo instead cuddled his talking pillow and blearily murmured.

"Yuzu, five more minutes."

The pillow didn't speak for a long time after. At the pillow's sudden silence, Ichigo fell back to sleep feeling small tentative fingers combing through his hair, an action his mother had also done for him so long ago.

Ichigo gave a sound of contentment in his throat, and Tōshirō decided not to wake the boy who slept on him just yet.

.

When he next awoke, Ichigo found that he was alone in the room.

He took in Tōshirō and Byakuya's empty and already-made beds, and his eyes roamed to the clock on the wall which ticked away to show that it was exactly eleven o' clock in the morning.

The infernal clock hadn't even started chiming the third bell when Ichigo flew out of bed.

He pulled off the clothes he had slept in, and pulled on the only other clean pair of clothes he had. Remembering that supervisor Matsumoto had told him to leave clothes in the laundry basket in the upstairs linen closet, Ichigo picked up his clothes and deposited them in the little closet. He went back and made the bed as neatly as he could, and fumbled for his toothbrush. He used the upstairs bathroom, and feeling clean and ready, he set out downstairs.

Again, he gave a curious look to the drawings hung on the walls with tape as he climbed down the stairway. They were odd and bizarre, but seemed ever so familiar...

Surprisingly, no one was downstairs either. Ichigo felt an ominous feeling creep up on him, as he called out in what seemed to be a completely deserted orphanage.

"Oh, you're up."

Ichigo turned to find the large man he had met the last day.

"Good morning, Mr. Sa-Ko!"

The man didn't immediately react to the greeting. He slowly turned and walked away, but beckoned Ichigo to follow him.

"It is no longer morning, but the afternoon. You must come to the kitchen and eat something."

"But Mr. Sa-Ko, where did everyone go?"

"The supervisor took them out to a field trip. The library, if I recall correctly."

"Oh," Ichigo's face fell as he followed the adult. He loved reading, and he would've given anything to find a good book to get his mind off of everything.

Oddly perceptive, Komamura reached back and patted the boy on his head again.

Komamura pulled out a loaf of bread and began fixing up a sandwich for the depressed boy. He pushed a plate with the sandwich towards Ichigo, who immediately giggled.

On the sandwich, there was a smiley face drawn with ketchup. He looked up to the larger man with sincere gratitude.

"Thank you, Mr. Sa-Ko."

"You're very welcome, Ichigo. And Ichigo, about the way you call me..."

"Hmm?" Ichigo answered, already eating his lunch.

"It's alright if you just call me Sa-Ko. No 'mister' needed."

Ichigo answered with a small smile, and he felt much better than he had in a long time.

.

Ichigo had no clue about cleaning a place so substantially large like the orphanage. Komamura did so with practised ease, but as Ichigo followed him and tried to reach all the places with his dusting cloth, he truly felt respect for the older adult for having the patience to go through every room.

At Ichigo's frustrated attempts to get a particularly bad spot of dust cleared, Komamura gave a very small upturn of his lips. Ichigo missed Komamura's rare expression, as he continued duking it out with the floor.

"You don't have to assist me, young one."

"No, I want to help," Ichigo spoke distractedly, "and you're not getting me to leave by reminding me how much of a kid I am. I'm helping, and that's final."

"Suit yourself," Komamura had shrugged, but the small upturn to his lips hadn't faded.

After a long while of going through rooms on both upstairs and downstairs levels of the house, Ichigo was exhausted. They retreated to the kitchen, where Komamura poured out cold lemonade for the two of them.

While they had worked, both chatted about insignificant things. Ichigo was mostly doing the talking, but Komamura would reply in places where he would have something to add.

Currently, the two sat comfortably on high stools in the kitchen, sipping their drinks.

"Everyone is sure taking their time... It's been three hours..."

"They took lunches with them," Komamura answered, "they'll likely be back soon."

"Hnn," Ichigo made a noise of affirmation. "Sa-Ko, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"Why are the other kids so afraid of you?" Ichigo asked with genuine curiosity. "You're very gentle and kind, so why are they scared of you?"

Komamura didn't reply for a while, and Ichigo wondered in despair if he had offended the man.

"I believe," Komamura started, "is that they need something to fear in order to stay proper and calm, so they fear me. I am a symbol of authority like the supervisor, but I am not familiar to them as she is. And, if they do something wrong, I'm usually in charge of punishing them."

"Punishing?"

"Yes, like making them help me around the house, as you did today."

"Well, though it's tiring, cleaning isn't that much of a punishment..."

"But that's because you've gotten to know me. Because they choose to fear me, they fear even staying in my presence. Even a minute with me is punishing enough."

"But, they shouldn't be scared! It's hurtful to you, isn't it?" Ichigo exclaimed.

There was a silence, before Komamura chuckled in his deep voice.

"You truly are like Kaien Shiba, boy."

Before Ichigo could ask about who this person 'Kaien' was, there was a rattling at the door before it slammed open.

"Firstest! I was firstest!" Renji's voice floated down to the kitchen.

"No fair! No fair!" Kiyone and Sentarō's voices whined.

"Yeah Ren, you tote'lly cheated," Kenpachi spoke, but even without seeing him, Ichigo heard the teasing note in Kenpachi's voice.

"No way, ya're jus' takin' the kiddies sides again, Ken!"

"Wer' not kiddies!"

Matsumoto's own shrill voice called over the din.

"We're back!"

Ichigo slid off the stool. He glanced at his empty cup of lemonade, and made an attempt to pick it up and wash it out at the sink. Komamura noticed, and picked up Ichigo's cup without a word, shooing the boy to go see his new friends. Ichigo grinned, and very suddenly he gave the older man a wide hug, before dashing out of the kitchen, leaving the other to shake his head behind him.

Ichigo nearly crashed into Renji.

"Woah! Sleepin' beauty's finally up!"

Ichigo scowled, but the expression fell from his face when he gleefully noticed all of the books being carried in.

"What did you get?" Ichigo asked breathlessly to Renji. Renji proudly announced several titles that he had gotten, pointing to the stack of comic books under his arm.

"We got picture books about frogs and dogs!" Kiyone and Sentarō cheered from behind Renji, both of the five year olds holding a book each.

"Yer up," Rukia smiled as she came in with Soi Fon, the latter nodding a silent hello. The two gladly showed their findings to Ichigo, and they had ended up taking out books on origami and crafts.

Byakuya spared a searching glance to Ichigo as he came in. Ichigo looked at him with a confused stare, as he greeted the younger boy. As politeness demanded, Byakuya returned the greeting, and when Ichigo asked about his books, Byakuya merely shrugged and stated they weren't interesting enough for him to remember their titles.

Matsumoto pulled up the rear, carrying little Yachiru in one arm, and holding a duffel bag in the other. Kenpachi walked a few steps ahead of her as they came in.

"Ichigo, good afternoon," Matsumoto smiled, shifting to put the duffel bag down. "Kenpachi, can you take the duffel bag to the kitchen? Mr. Komamura will take care of the empty lunch boxes inside."

Kenpachi nodded, albeit a bit slowly. Renji shot him a solemn salute as he passed by, which was returned just as seriously as if he were marching into the jaws of death and not just to Komamura in the kitchen.

Ichigo watched this exchange between the boy with the eyepatch and the redhead with an amused but frustrated look. After getting to know the real Sa-Ko, he couldn't help but feel affronted for the other's behalf.

As he opened his mouth to say something, Matsumoto called him.

"Ichigo, can you go fetch Tōshirō? Goodness, that boy walked back with his nose in his book the whole way!"

Ichigo replied with an affirmative, as he peeked outside the front gate for the snowy head of hair.

Tōshirō was easy to spot, as he was sitting under a tree on the front lawn. He was completely fascinated by the book in his hands that he didn't notice Ichigo approach him.

Ichigo tilted his head to see the cover of the book, but surprisingly, there was no book jacket stating the title of the book. It was just a flat blue book.

Ichigo neared Tōshirō, and sat next to him. Still, there was no reaction. Ichigo blinked at how focused Tōshirō was.

He looked at the pages of the book, and recoiled in shock. There were no words on the pages but numbers and formulas that Ichigo had no idea how to describe, yet Tōshirō seemed to intently follow these numbers easily.

He wondered how to get the boy's unyielding attention which was being directed elsewhere.

He leaned forward a bit again, and into Tōshirō's ear he loudly called the boy's name.

"Tōshirō."

The boy let out an immensely undignified sound, something akin to what Ichigo would call a girlish squeal, and Ichigo was left wondering at the noise as Tōshirō shuffled away from him, holding his ear, his tanned skin turning red in embarrassment and anger.

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo laughed, and Tōshirō instantly stopped his barrage of fury. It was the first time he had seen the other laugh. Like Byakuya had, Tōshirō looked at Ichigo carefully, trying to see signs of the deep grief he had seen in Ichigo the night before.

To his relief, Ichigo seemed to be normal.

He pretended to be angry for a couple more seconds, before stomping back into the house. He was followed by an Ichigo who looked much more relaxed after his fit of amusement at Tōshirō's expense.

"Why are you reading a book with only numbers and no words?"

"Why d'you read books with only words and no numb'rs?" Tōshirō challenged back.

"You got me there," Ichigo replied, eyes radiant at the white-haired seven year old who continued flipping through pages of his book as they climbed up the stairs.

"Of course," Tōshirō replied with a small huff. "That's 'cause I'll be smart'r than anyone."

Ichigo hummed in response.

"Take this to the room, I gotta check on somethin'," Tōshirō spoke, suddenly pushing his book into Ichigo's hands before walking away without further explanation.

Ichigo blinked at his retreating back, and shrugged.

He walked in on Byakuya who was also reading a book.

"What are you reading?"

Byakuya looked over the top of the page he had been on.

"Nothing interesting," he droned as he went back to his book. He stiffened as Ichigo came closer and slumped down next to the younger boy on the bed.

Ichigo peeked at the title before Byakuya could pull back.

"'Robinson Crusoe'?"

"It isn't a book of your-"

"This was amazing! Defoe is an amazing writer; I read it cover to cover in two days!" Ichigo spoke excitedly, as Byakuya's jaw fell slack. "After reading it I used to fantasize about being Crusoe all the time and how I would've dealt with everything if I was ever shipwrecked! Though I don't agree with a lot of the themes in the book, but I suppose it was reasonable at the 17th century... have you gotten to Friday yet? He's a native that- oh no, am I spoiling it for you?"

Byakuya blinked in shock at Ichigo's vocabulary which was more extensive that he had thought the older boy seemed to possess. He quickly caught up to Ichigo's question.

"No, I'm not there yet, but I was curious about why Crusoe is so well, unemotional?"

"That's what I mean! He's so calm in the face of danger; I could never be like that if I was in his shoes..."

"He seems completely fake at times..."

"Well, later there is some form of regret from him, but I'm not saying a word more," Ichigo grinned.

Byakuya seemed a bit put-off at that, but nonetheless, there was a sparkle is his eyes that hadn't faded.

"And if you'd enjoy Crusoe, I'd say go for Treasure Island by Robert Stevenson next. It was written in the 18th century, and has a lot of influences from Robinson Crusoe."

"I've already read that," Byakuya immediately replied, his book unnoticed as it slid to his lap, as he immersed himself into conversation, "what do you think of Long John Silver? And the fact that he won in the end?"

"Well, I wouldn't say he won at the end per se, actually in my opinion..."

At that moment Tōshirō walked in, and he gave a surprised look at Ichigo and Byakuya's proximity. Byakuya hastily picked up his book again.

"That'sa first," Tōshirō remarked, as he picked up his book that Ichigo had placed on his pillow, "Bya never lets us on his bed."

Immediately, Byakuya kicked Ichigo off who landed on the floor with a yell of surprise.

"Hey, what was that for?" Ichigo groaned, rubbing his arm that he had fallen on.

Byakuya just pulled his book closer, hiding his face in it.

At that moment, a heavy knock sounded on the door. Komamura stepped in to find Tōshirō and Byakuya reading innocently.

"Where's Ichigo?"

"Down here," Ichigo grumbled, as he picked himself up from the floor, shooting a small glare at Byakuya who imitated the picture of perfection, as if the ten-year old hadn't just suddenly attacked someone.

"I always seem to find you lying about in odd places."

"Don't worry; I'll make sure it doesn't turn into a bad habit Sa-Ko," Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Unbeknownst to the other two boys, there was a little upturn to Komumura's lips.

"See it doesn't happen again, or we may have to... 'fix' this vice of yours."

The two other boys' eyes widened in horror, as Ichigo just nodded.

"Yes sir," Ichigo said returning a smile of his own.

After he left, and the sound of his heavy footsteps faded, he heard Tōshirō exhale.

"You really are somthin' Ichigo."

Byakuya was looking peculiarly at Ichigo again, as if assessing the boy for his true potential.

Ichigo just made a neutral sound in the back of his throat, and made his way to his own bed. He unbuckled his backpack, and took out papers and pens.

"Are you drawin'?" Tōshirō asked.

"No," Ichigo answered, "I'm writing."

Tōshirō made a face and mouthed 'in summer vacation?' before shaking his head and returning to his book.

Ichigo paused before his pen touched the paper. Then, he began writing in fluid handwriting.

'_Dear Dr. Kisuke Urahara..._'

.

After what seemed to be an hour or so, Ichigo carefully finished his letter and slid it under his shirt.

"I'll be taking a walk outside," he spoke hurriedly. Before Byakuya or Tōshirō could look at him, he was gone and the door closed with a small sound.

Ichigo walked through the halls. He could hear the sound of giggling from the girls' room, and he could hear Yachiru babbling from downstairs as he heard Matsumoto's voice faintly coo at the baby. He could hear heavy steps in the kitchen where Sa-Ko was probably preparing dinner. In another room, which was much louder than the one he shared with Byakuya and Tōshirō, he heard Renji and Sentarō laugh uproariously at some joke.

He walked on, taking in the soft sounds echoing in the house. At times, he even forgot it was an orphanage, and not some happy day-care.

Remembering the way Matsumoto had first shown him on the tour, he walked towards a door that would lead to the roof. A colourful sign was pasted on the door, warning children to keep out.

The supervisor herself had mentioned that it was off-limits for anyone to go on the roof.

Ichigo turned the knob, and surprisingly found it unlocked. He pushed it and found a series of stair ascending towards a clear blue sky.

He stepped forward and quietly shut the door behind him.

As he climbed up, he noted that the roof was a large space but unsafe due to the lack of ledges. There was nothing but a flat platform which gradually sloped downward at the edges.

He sat, admiring the view of the tops of houses and the handful of apartment and business buildings that cropped his view, but most of all, he felt cheered by the clouds which seemed so low that he felt like that they would float downwards like fluffy cotton candy blowing in the breeze.

For a moment, he relaxed before he pulled out the paper form under his shirt. Deftly, he began folding it.

He stood and held it up high, admiring the paper airplane he had made.

"Hope this reaches you," Ichigo murmured, as he threw it with all his might.

To his dismay, the wind shifted and the plane flew right back towards him.

He sighed miserably as it crashed into the wall behind his head.

"Thas' no way to fly a plane."

Ichigo spun around, and a six-year old Kenpachi displayed his signature razor-like grin.

"Ya gotta, y'know, let the thingy actually fly," the boy with the eyepatch continued, waving his arms as if making a point.

"No one's supposed to be up here," Ichigo replied tersely.

"Then what're you doin' up here?"

Ichigo said nothing as he walked past the other smaller boy who looked smug, and he picked up his plane.

"I was trying to reach someone."

"Ya'wre not gonna rweach anyone up here," Kenpachi answered in a conversational tone, "maybe only th' dead."

Ichigo turned again to face the six-year old with wide eyes, but Kenpachi showed no expression except for the toothy grin that seemed permanently etched to his face.

There was a deep silence between the two boys as the twelve-year old had no words for the smaller boy who was half his age, and had suddenly brought about such a scathing topic.

"No," Ichigo finally said, "there is no way to reach the dead."

The younger boy shrugged.

"Well, thas' a good thing. Don' wanna bother them up at Heavwen," Kenpachi spoke casually, but his next words were darkened with a dark ire, "or Hell."

Ichigo stepped back, and looked over his shoulder suddenly feeling nauseated at the height he stood. He felt a gentle brush at his arm.

"Easy, it ain't good lookin' down frwom hewre," Kenpachi spoke again but his voice had none of the previous malice Ichigo had heard, "look up at th' sky instead. It's weally pwetty today."

Kenpachi looked up with his single visible eye, and Ichigo followed his gaze.

"Yeah..."

After a while, both boys were sprawled on their backs, just watching the sky.

"You're usually with Yachiru, aren't you Kenpachi?" Ichigo muffled a yawn, feeling incredibly lazy. The younger boy next to him seemed to be infected with this sluggish mood and yawned right out loud.

"Mhmm, I ev'n sleep next to her crib. It's mor' fun than sleepin' with Ren and Sen anyway."

Ichigo laughed, "You really like being with her."

"Yeah, but m'not suppos'd ta when she's eatin'," Kenpachi answered blinking sleepily, "she starts throwin' her food at me 'cause she thinks it's funny."

Here, Kenpachi grinned again, "Of course I think its pwetty funny too, but Rangiku gets all mad so she tells me to get lost wheneva' Yachiwu is eatin'."

"It must be nice having a sister," Ichigo replied still looking at the sky, "I had two."

Ichigo didn't think the six-year old would pick up on the sorrow in his tone, or the fact he used the word 'had', but nonetheless, Kenpachi stayed quiet.

"They were both older than me. Yuzu was the oldest, and Karin was second oldest. Yuzu was really girly while Karin was a total opposite. This one time Karin cut off all her hair and-"

Abruptly, Ichigo stopped. He swallowed quickly at the tears that threatening to rise.

"Anyway, I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun playing with Yachiru when she gets older. You should always love her and protect her and..."

Ichigo trailed off, and just raised his arm over his eyes pressing back the wetness at his eyes, not wanting the younger boy to see him cry.

"You're stwong."

Ichigo lifted his arm to look at Kenpachi with a skeptical look. Kenpachi for once looked utterly serious.

"You wanna pwotect both your sis, just that makes you stwong," Kenpachi spoke looking at Ichigo with a hint of admiration. "I feels the same, 'cause I wanna pwotect Yachiwu."

"But I'm not strong- at the end, I couldn't protect them- I couldn't..."

"Your pwoblem is," Kenpachi gently continued, "that you hafta know to fight. You hafta become stwonger so you can pwotect and nev'r let go again. If you wanna cwy, it's okay but get stwong aft'r as much as you can."

Looking at the six-year old who suddenly looked too wise and tired for his age, Ichigo felt oddly comforted and he gave a watery smile.

"Yeah, I'll get strong so next time I don't have to cry or see anyone cry. Thanks Kenpachi."

"Ken," Kenpachi returned to his grin, "m'fwends call me Ken."

The younger boy held out his hand in a handshake, "An' wer' fwends now."

Ichigo shook the younger boy's hand with a small laugh, and sealed the deal of their friendship.

The rest of the day was spent with Kenpachi and Ichigo making paper airplanes, and the two watched their creations soar in the fiery orange hues of the sunset.


	3. Cracks

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Hurray for another quick chapter! Nothing much to say except that in this chapter we'll be delving into Ichigo a bit, so here we go… Feedback is appreciated and enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

'_...she's been sentenced to execution...'_

"N-No..."

'_...imprisonment in __Senzaikyū__...'_

"No..."

'_...execution will take place on Sōkyoku Hill in twenty-five days.'_

"No!"

"Ichigo, get up!"

Ichigo sat up screaming, making Tōshirō jump back several steps. The latter boy's turquoise eyes were widened in fear and worry for his friend.

"Ichigo?!"

"They're going to kill her!"

Convulsing with a deep pain in his psyche, Ichigo held his head while repeating his outburst.

"They're going to kill her, they're going to kill her, they're going to kill her-"

Minutes later, the door slammed open. Komamura stood watching the chaos momentarily before he stepped into the room and strode to Ichigo's bed. He gathered the boy in his arms, who was still repeating his mantra of death.

Matsumoto appeared in the doorway in a sleeping robe and pink slippers, her hair frazzled in her hurry. She hastened over to Ichigo, and began petting his hair and talking to him in comforting nothings like she would to Yachiru.

"Lieutenant," Ichigo hiccupped, his words punctuated by sobs, "it's my fault, all because she gave me her powers as a reaper and now she's going to die."

Matsumoto exchanged a clearly worried look with Komamura.

"Ichigo, whatever you're talking about, it's okay. No one blames you," Matsumoto tried reassuringly.

"It's not okay! We have to save her; we have to go get her!"

Before Matsumoto could say anything else, Komamura looked at the boy in concern and spoke.

"Who is she? Who are you talking about, Ichigo?"

With a panicked shake of his head, Ichigo wildly stared around the room, his unseeing eyes failing to grasp anything until they landed on a very alarmed and disheveled Byakuya Kuchiki.

Ichigo's mouth shaped Byakuya's name, the ten-year old flinching at the sudden attention from the distressed older boy, and Ichigo let out a final scream before Komamura knocked him out with a precise hit to his neck.

"_Save Rukia_!"

.

When Ichigo neared awakening, he noted several things.

One was that he couldn't hear that infernal clock ticking loudly or chiming. Thank goodness for that.

The second was that he couldn't hear Tōshirō's soft breaths. Usually Byakuya slept silently while cocooned in his blankets, but Tōshirō's inhales and exhales were usually audible.

The third was the bed, which felt very different. His mattress in the orphanage was uncomfortable and lumpy, but the one he slept on now was plush and smooth.

There was also a sharp medicinal smell permeating in the air.

He felt tempted to shut his eyes and fall back to slumber, but these differences nagged at his mind until he blinked his eyes opened.

At first, he thought he was still sleeping. The room he awoke in was completely white. He quietly groaned at the dim sunlight that threaded through an open window, where white curtains were swaying.

He turned his head away, shutting his eyes tightly and rolled to his other side away from the light.

He opened his eyes again and let out a very unmanly squeak as he saw two pairs of eyes watching him closely.

"He's up, he's up!" Kiyone and Sentarō spoke in their somewhat creepy synchronized voices. "G'mornin'!"

"Good... morning?"

With that, the twins began giggling for some reason or the other.

"Jus' kiddin! We mweant g'aft'rnoon!"

They pointed to a digital clock on a white bedside table next to Ichigo's bed, where the numbers 1:46 blinked in green neon light.

Ichigo immediately sat up.

"Oh shoot, I slept in?! Why didn't Byakuya or Tōshirō wake me up? And where is this anyway? Did I fall asleep here accidentally?"

Kiyone and Sentarō seemed dizzy by the sudden onslaught of questions. Ichigo realized his mistake, and asked his questions slowly.

"Ah!" The two five year olds exclaimed in understanding. "Yesh, you sleepied in! And you wakey wakey'd Bya and Snowy and Ren and Ru and Soi and Ken and Ya..."

"Wait, I don't understand," Ichigo sighed, running a hand through his hair. "How did I sleep in but wake everyone else up? And where is this?"

The twins looked at him in reproach as if he deliberately did not understand their obviously clear explanation.

"It's jus' like we saids! You wakey wakey'd ev'ryone and sleepied in! And we're at the place where they check our badump badump!" The twins pointed to their chests in elaborating their point.

Ichigo sighed again but this time in annoyance. He stood up from the bed intending to find the answers himself, when suddenly he was overtaken by an extreme nausea. He clutched at his head, and all but fell back on the bed.

Kiyone and Sentarō paled and cried out.

"Get the badump badump man! We gotta get badump badump man!"

Fortunately, their cries had been loud and a doctor came in without their searching for one.

"Retsu, he's up!" The twins warbled.

The woman rushed to Ichigo's side, checking his pulse. Letting out a breath when she found all signs were normal, she carefully helped Ichigo back into the bed.

She turned to Kiyone and Sentarō and patted the teary-eyed children on the head with a smile.

"Kiyone, Sentarō, would you go tell supervisor Rangiku that Ichigo has woken up? It's a big job and I need help that I can count on."

"Kiyo will do it!" Kiyone spoke separately from her twin.

"Nuh-uh, Sen will!" Sentarō replied.

"No, Kiyo will!"

"Sen will!"

Before they could disturb Ichigo any further, the doctor cut in.

"Why don't you both do this for me? I would be very grateful."

Both of the children turned to her.

"Yes," they sang and they both scurried out.

There was a quiet in the room, as the doctor turned back to Ichigo who looked to be in pain.

"Where... am I? And who are you?"

"You are in the Karakura clinic," the doctor replied easily, "and I am a doctor. My name is Retsu Unohana."

"Clinic? Am I sick?" Ichigo knitted his brows in confusion.

Unohana looked at Ichigo, shaking her head.

"Not by my standards you aren't. Physically, everything is okay," she tapped her clipboard, "but there is something definitely off. Ichigo, how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine, except for this headache."

Unohana quickly wrote this down.

"And Ichigo, do you remember what happened to you last night?"

"I... went to sleep?"

Unohana looked at him long and hard, before nodding curtly.

"And nothing else?"

"No," Ichigo shook his head, "what happened to me?"

"Ichigo, you..."

The door burst open.

"Hey, are ya still alive?!"

"Knock it off Ren, you're bein' too loud!"

"You're being just as loud as he is, Snowy."

"For the last time, m'name is Tōshirō! And stop pushin', Ken!"

"I jus' wanna see my pal!"

"Quiet!" Matsumoto called. Everyone stilled, as they watched the older woman walk in. Yachiru slept peacefully on Matsumoto's shoulder, unaware of the noise around her.

Matsumoto walked towards the bed.

"How are you feeling, Ichigo?"

"I'm fine, just confused. What's going on here, Ms. Matsumoto? Why am I in a clinic?"

"Ichigo, you don't remember?" She asked slowly. "About yesterday, I mean?"

"I don't," Ichigo answered honestly. "What happened?"

"You were screamin' in your sleep," Tōshirō answered him softly, "then Sa-Ko had to knock you out and take you here."

Ichigo stared at him blankly.

"I was... _what_?"

Tōshirō shifted uncomfortably.

"You said that someone was going to kill Ru and that we had to save her," Byakuya spoke up, his eyes locking with Ichigo's.

"Ru? Rukia? But why would I say that about her?"

"That's what I was hoping that you could answer," Byakuya chose his words carefully, "you were very adamant that Ru was going to be harmed and were begging us to do something. You said it was your fault."

Ichigo let out a confused frown on his face.

"But, I don't even know Rukia that well. I only met her in the orphanage a couple of days ago. Why would I dream about her?"

Unohana watched as Ichigo searched his thoughts and his expression became more strained and pained.

"Alright everyone," she suddenly said, "it seems like everything is okay with our friend, Ichigo. Let's give him some quiet so he can rest up before going home with you all."

Byakuya looked like he was going to say something, when Unohana motioned him to not speak.

"You can all talk with Ichigo when he returns this evening, but for now, I have some more tests to run on him to make sure he's healthy."

Byakuya gave a scowl of dissatisfaction, but nodded and left the room. Tōshirō stepped up to Ichigo's bed.

"Get well soon," he spoke shyly under the watch of Unohana and Matsumoto. Ichigo just smiled.

"Thanks Tōshirō."

Tōshirō nodded, and followed Byakuya through the door. Renji waved to Ichigo with similar sentiment, and left the room, while the twins both shouted a cheerful goodbye.

Soon, there only stood Unohana, Matsumoto, Kenpachi, and a sleeping Yachiru.

Kenpachi walked over to Ichigo, his face solemn and his single eye shone with concern.

"You scawed me," Kenpachi admitted, "I thwought you wer' done for."

"Kenpachi," Matsumoto said with a reprimand clear in her tone, but Kenpachi merely shrugged.

"It's twue," he returned to a grin, "get bett'r, it's no fun without you."

The five-year old glanced at the slumbering Yachiru with a fond look, before also leaving. He wisely shut the door behind him, as if knowing the conversation that would follow within the room would be private.

Unohana continued scratching notes on her clipboard with a pen, as Matsumoto sat near Ichigo on the bed as she lowered Yachiru onto her lap.

"I understand you must be confused, Ichigo."

"I really am," Ichigo responded, clutching his blankets tightly in his fists, "Ms. Matsumoto, what's happening with me? Why aren't I like the other kids? Am I weird?"

"No! No... you're fine, Ichigo. You're normal, just like everyone else. You've just had a very bad nightmare is all," Matsumoto reached up and pushed Ichigo's hair back from his eyes, "you'll be back at the orphanage in the evening. Even Dr. Unohana says you're fine. Isn't that right, Retsu?"

Unohana looked up from her notes. She was quiet for an instant before she motioned Matsumoto to follow her into an adjoined large bathroom. They conversed in soft voices.

.

"I think I should maybe keep him overnight, just in case, Rangiku."

"Why?" Matsumoto frowned. "The kids are already worried. Tōshirō hasn't slept this entire time, and neither has Byakuya. And you saw even how Kenpachi acted. All of them wanted to come see Ichigo the moment we came back from the clinic without him."

"Where are the other girls?" Unohana asked distractedly, as she flipped through her papers.

"Rukia and Soi Fon wanted to come, but they agreed to help Sajin with preparing lunch for when we get back. Unlike the boys, they don't seem to be as dam- darned frightened of him," Matsumoto balanced Yachiru on her shoulder, "and Kiyone goes wherever Sentarō goes."

Unohana made a small noise that she was listening.

"Retsu, there isn't anything... _wrong_ with Ichigo, is there?"

Unohana looked up.

"Rangiku, the boy is not troubled in the body, but he is troubled in his mind. It looks like severe psychological damage, and not just that, but most of it is some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder."

"Oh my go- he wasn't abused was he? Tell me he wasn't abused. I'll never be able to give Masaki and Isshin peace; I'll never be able to make it up to them for finding him too late."

"No, it doesn't seem to be abuse," Unohana looked frustrated, "but there is something deeper, hidden in the boy. Something that scarred him, and he pushed away. These memories he pushed away may be coming back to haunt him, and that might explain his reactions from what you've described to have seen last night."

"Could it be his lost memories... about his parents' and sisters' death? Or about Kaien's death?"

"It's possible."

They were both quiet, and a dripping of a faucet echoed in the bathroom.

Matsumoto suddenly looked stricken as if she was coming to a sickening realization about something.

"Something... happened to him seven years ago- do you remember? He went missing when he was five. I was out of contact with Masaki then, and was training for my childcare degree abroad. She never told me what it was exactly, but it sounded pretty severe."

"I don't know exactly either," Unohana exhaled, "Masaki refused to tell me what happened to him when he went missing. I was out of the city as well, attending medschool. Apparently, he was found a week later and then she immediately moved out of Karakura as soon as she could. Since she was with the force, she covered the entire incident up and left town."

Matsumoto darted a look back to the room, and murmured quietly.

"But why does he have flashbacks of Rukia? They've never met before, to both of their knowledge. And why did he scream about an execution?"

"I don't know. It could be something that happened with a girl and harm that befell her, and he's substituted her with Rukia and an execution. Or it could be something else. I just don't know what to make of it."

"But he-" Matsumoto was cut off as Ichigo pushed the bathroom door to swing open with a strange look on his face.

"Ichigo?" Matsumoto turned. "What's the matter, honey? Do you feel sick?"

Ichigo stared at her if she was crazy.

"What the heck, Lieutenant? What are you and Captain Unohana doing inmy_ bathroom_ of all things?"

"Lieu...tenant?" Matsumoto repeated, sending a bewildered look at Unohana's way, and the other woman mirrored her expression.

"Yes," Ichigo rolled his eyes in an attitude that wasn't like Ichigo at all, "you should get going before Tōshirō kicks you down to the third seat of the tenth division. I hope this isn't a Shinigami Women's Association thing, because really, my bathroom is no place for it."

Ichigo turned to Unohana with a more softened expression.

"Captain, you had to heal me again, didn't you? Sorry, I guess I was sparring and got hurt or something. If anything, blame Zaraki, he doesn't know when 'no means no' to his challenges," Ichigo snorted at the last part. "Next time, I'm telling him that he can only fight me if he reaches bankai- that is if his Zanpakutō is on speaking terms with him."

The two women were stunned into silence, both looking at each other and then back at Ichigo.

"Is that Yachiru? Whoa! Did she shrink or something?"

Matsumoto opened her mouth to say something, but Ichigo continued on.

"Oh wait, don't tell me this was Kurotsuchi's handiwork? I thought he wasn't supposed to experiment on personnel!"

Ichigo poked the sleeping Yachiru warmly, unaware of Matsumoto's sudden utterly disturbed look as he mentioned the new name.

"Guess someone's going to hear it at the Captain's meetings. Hope they cut down the twelfth division's budget, seriously, I don't know where he gets all of that funding for the Shinigami Research and Development Institute," Ichigo rambled on, "at least Urahara isn't that bad-"

Ichigo suddenly grunted in pain as he held his head.

"O-owww, did I get hit by Kidō or something? My head hurts a lot," he began panting heavily and leaned onto the wall at his back.

"Ichigo!" Matsumoto rushed to Ichigo's side.

"Why do I feel like crap...? Did I get mauled by a hollow?"

Unohana looked anxiously at the boy.

"Ichigo," Unohana started, "who is Rukia?"

Matsumoto looked up in surprise.

"R-Rukia...? Rukia Kuchiki?" Ichigo answered, his voice slightly slurred. "Byakuya's sister...? What about that runt?"

Matsumoto inhaled sharply as Unohana asked gently, "And what of Rukia's execution?"

"B- But didn't we... s- save Rukia... on Sōkyoku Hill?"

And Ichigo promptly fainted.

Unohana caught the boy, and looked into Matsumoto's wide eyes.

"What," Unohana swallowed loudly, "in the world was he talking about? What are hollows a-and divisions? How does a twelve-year old know all these strange words?"

"Maybe he knows of them indirectly? Maybe he heard them in a passing conversation and somehow retained it?" Matsumoto tried, her voice shaking. "But what scares me most, is how did he know of Mayuri Kurotsuchi? The mass murderer caught five years ago in Karakura?"

Matsumoto closed her eyes, shuddering as if she could still feel those uncaring hands on her body.

"What happened to him?"

"He died a year ago in prison," Matsumoto took a deep breath, trying to calm her own stifling nightmares, "but a child having knowledge of a murderer, and speaking so familiarly about dead men scares me so much." She held the now resting boy with apprehension.

Unohana gave a long look at Ichigo's passed out form, before asking her unanswerable question.

"Just what did you go through, Ichigo Kurosaki?"


	4. Protect

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **It's more of a Byakuya-centric chapter. Though I enjoy writing about Ichigo, Bleach, the series, has always given side characters space to develop, and I guess I want to do that too. The stories of the children aside from Ichigo are important to me.

.

To the concern about the ages, I apologize if I've made it confusing! Essentially, the twins are five, Kenpachi, Rukia and Soi Fon are six, Renji and Tōshirō are seven, Byakuya is ten, and Ichigo is twelve. I wanted to give them suitable ages to fit their stages of thinking and personality, but I do realize it may have been a bit scattered... To the concern about more Tōshirō in the story, I will ask you to be patient for a while more. I want to address all of the characters first, before I get into my mains... I don't want to rush anything, so please bear with me as I develop the story and thank you for reading.

.

Finally, I truly appreciate the readership, and many thanks to my new reviewers; feedback/comments are always appreciated and are encouraging. :) Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Unohana sighed, as she closed Ichigo Kurosaki's file for the time being. It was late, and she felt exhausted.

She leaned back in her chair, massaging her aching temples. Her thoughts raced but she just couldn't figure out what was wrong with Ichigo.

The sudden change in personality, circumstances and even posture that Ichigo had shown in the bathroom implied of a split personality. Yet even so, the way Ichigo had talked, it suggested that he had created not only a separate identity but a whole other sub-system- one that apparently rested on 'divisions' and 'captains' and the like.

When Ichigo had awakened from his fainting spell, he had returned to the normal twelve-year old child, leaving no sign of the Ichigo who had talked about dead men and reapers.

She had wanted to keep Ichigo overnight to observe his sleeping behaviour, but her friend Rangiku insisted on having Ichigo back to calm the kids. With Ichigo not being in any immediate need of care, she had acquiesced.

Of course, she had asked Ichigo countless questions after he had awakened from his episode in the bathroom, but the boy seemed clueless.

"_What or who is a Captain? Who is Kurotsuchi? What is Sōkyoku Hill?"_

"_Uhh, I'm sorry but I don't know?"_

She had spent a good hour trying to get answers out of Ichigo, but he genuinely seemed to not know how to respond. No matter what she tried, she could not drag the dormant personality or memories out. With a whispered warning to Rangiku, she had watched as the other woman nodded and shepherded the children out of the clinic.

Ichigo had been the only one to hang back a bit behind the group as they left, and as he did, he turned to Unohana and dipped his head in a show of respect before re-joining his friends.

The gesture seemed so out-of-place on a twelve-year old, that she had almost thought that the other Ichigo had appeared and rushed to him, but she let herself observe longer and realized that it was the normal Ichigo after all, as he laughed at something Renji said.

She was still tense, and even now as sleep pulled at her, her mind was buzzing with activity.

She took out her phone and dialled a number.

"Rangiku? It's me. I need all the available data you have on Ichigo Kurosaki and everything you knew about him before he became an orphan... when his family died in that fire and… when Kaien died."

.

Although the day had been eventful, an ordinary evening was wrapping up in the Karakura Orphanage.

As dinner was finished up, the children helped clear the table, and were sent to bathe or to bed.

As they reached the upstairs hallway, Rukia and Soi Fon expressed worry for Ichigo, for they too had heard his screams and awakened with a fright in the middle of the night because of them.

He waved off their concern, but thanked them anyway.

Rukia and Soi Fon nodded. Soi Fon entered the girls' room first, with Rukia lingering behind as if she wanted to say something. She opened and closed her mouth several times before speaking.

"Las' night-"

Suddenly, Byakuya ascended the stairs and stopped to stare at both Ichigo and Rukia who stood alone in the hallway.

"Err nev'r mind! G'night big bwother, g'night orangey!"

Rukia immediately escaped to her room, leaving Ichigo expressionlessly repeating the word 'orangey' as if it were some sort of foreign insult. A few minutes later, Rukia's giggling voice could be heard alongside Soi Fon's.

Byakuya was still staring at Ichigo when Ichigo shuffled to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Somehow, Ichigo knew that Byakuya wanted to have a talk with him soon, and so he finished up, and headed back to their room with Byakuya closely following.

The room was empty. Tōshirō had still been downstairs, taking a bath with the other boys plus one Kiyone, who was already very much a tomboy.

They could hear Matsumoto chiding the children for splashing around, but they could also hear her musical laughter as it floated up the stairs.

Ichigo purposely led the way to Byakuya's bed, and plopped down on it. Byakuya raised an eyebrow.

"Well? You wanted to talk to me, right?"

Byakuya remained standing.

"No worries, there's lots of room," Ichigo said, playfully patting the spot next to him. Byakuya sighed and rolled his eyes, as he sat down next to Ichigo, making sure to fluff his pillow first.

"I wanted to talk to you about Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. You've read it, haven't you?"

Ichigo appeared to be confused beyond belief.

He knew that Byakuya was an avid reader, but the topic was so random that he had no choice but to nod mutely, not knowing how to respond.

"Alice went on an adventure," Byakuya spoke, as he unconsciously drew circles on the sheets under them with a finger, "it was pretty weird and fun to read, but it would be a completely different story if the story hadn't ended with 'it was all a dream', right?"

"Right," Ichigo affirmed, still not knowing where in the world this conversation was going.

"After Alice came back to the real world, do you ever think that she wanted Wonderland to be real? It was a drastic change from her boring life," Byakuya then waited, making Ichigo realize that the other boy wanted a reply.

"Well sure, don't we all have dreams we want coming true? Like being able to fly or being rich or something?"

"Do you think they should? Should they come true? Should Alice try to make her dreams come true?"

Byakuya was gazing into Ichigo's eyes intently, and the ten year old seemed much older and mature for his age.

"Well, she couldn't really, right?" Ichigo slowly replied. "I mean talking flowers and animals would probably freak her out in real life, and a dream is a dream."

Ichigo looked thoughtful then, moving a bit to a more comfortable position which made his and Byakuya's shoulders bump together. He continued talking though, not noting his closeness with the other boy.

"But, the feelings you have in a dream are undoubtedly real. Like the panic of feeling as if you're falling off a cliff when in reality you've only fallen off your bed. Or the terror Alice felt at being sentenced by the Queen and chased by the Card Guards- both those feelings of panic and terror are emotions you can feel in real life."

"Then the dream you had about Ru is unlikely to happen, but you felt it was partially real?"

Here, everything made sense to Ichigo and Byakuya's line of questioning suddenly fit together.

"You're asking me," Ichigo swallowed, "if like Alice, I'll try to dismiss everything as a dream... or if I'll try to make the dream I had about Rukia a- a reality?"

Byakuya's silent stare was enough of an answer.

Ichigo scrambled back on the bed, "How can you- How can you even _think _that I would-"

Before Ichigo could pounce away and flee the room in unbidden shock and horror, Byakuya grabbed the hem of Ichigo's shirt and yanked him down with a force that Ichigo wouldn't have credited the ten-year old to possess, leading Ichigo to fall into Byakuya's lap.

"Let me go!" Ichigo struggled, but Byakuya had a vice-like grip on the twelve year old. Ichigo looked up with tears of betrayal in his eyes, "Of course I wouldn't, you idiot! I don't even remember what I dreamt, and you accuse me of trying to be a killer?!"

Ichigo ended up caging Byakuya under him, as they continued to struggle.

"I'm not! I just had to make sure!" Byakuya shouted back, trying to hit the older boy in any place he could, and uncharacteristically raising his voice while showing a frustration that didn't suit him at all.

"But you said it, didn't you?!"

"She's my sister!"

The door burst open and Komamura strode to the bed and pulled apart the two fighting boys, but before Byakuya managed to land a hard punch onto Ichigo's cheek.

"What," Komamura all but roared, "is going on here?"

Byakuya had stiffened up, while Ichigo's cheek turned a deepening red from the hit. Both had quietened and refused to answer as they glared at one another.

"No one will talk? Fine, I have no choice then."

He carried the boys by the backs of their collars out to the hallway. The girls peeked from their room with wide frightened eyes at Komamura carrying off the boys.

Rukia, seeing her brother in Komamura's grasp, followed Komamura at a distance not heeding Soi Fon's hissed whisper to return. Soi Fon chewed her bottom lip in worry before quickly pattering downstairs, presumably to find Matsumoto.

Komamura continued to walk until he reached a door. He opened it to reveal a dark and dingy closet. The closet was ridiculously small, and there wasn't a single window or light-bulb inside.

Komamura threw the boys inside, closed the door and locked it from the outside.

"You two can come out when you learn to behave."

Komamura then stalked away with heavy steps, and just as he was gone, the boys heard Rukia start to cry loudly.

A set of lighter steps hurried down the hallway, and they heard Matsumoto's voice comforting Rukia. Soon, Matsumoto must have carried the crying girl back to her room, as Rukia's crying got softer and softer, until the boys couldn't hear her anymore.

Then, there was silence.

.

Ichigo realized he was sprawled over Byakuya, who was breathing in short gasps at his neck.

"A-Are you okay?"

"M'fine," Byakuya slurred unusually. Ichigo shifted up, but realized the closet was too small for them to be sitting separately. He moved back and was now straddling Byakuya, but at the very least the younger boy now had space to sit up.

Byakuya sat up gingerly and leaned his head against the wall behind him, still breathing oddly.

"Are you sure?" Ichigo said with clear doubt and worry. "You don't sound okay."

In the pitch darkness, he couldn't see Byakuya shaking his head, but felt the tremble and thus felt the movement.

"M' just... not good... with small and dark places, just give me a sec to adjust," Byakuya confessed. After a pause, he spoke again in a more collected voice. "Anyway... are _you_ okay? I got you pretty good."

Ichigo could feel a tinge of a smirk in Byakuya's last words, and so he merely sighed away his worry, his breath whooshing onto Byakuya's neck, the latter shivering in response to the sudden rush of air.

"I'm fine, you punch like a girl."

Rather than squawk indignantly at this, Byakuya began shuddering with what Ichigo identified as laughter.

"Are you- are you _laughing_? We're stuck in a closet, and you think it's funny?"

"Yes, well, the punching like a girl part was funny anyway," Byakuya replied, "but this isn't such a big deal... considering my life so far."

"I'd love to know how this seems amusing to you."

"Hmm," Byakuya hummed, and he leaned forward to let his forehead lie on Ichigo's shoulder. "I'll tell you if you be my pillow."

"I get the feeling you're making fun of me again," Ichigo growled, but didn't move away.

"Maybe," Byakuya spoke into Ichigo's shirt, drawing imaginary circles on it with his finger, and Ichigo wondered if it was a habit of sorts.

"I remember that it all started," Byakuya spoke, after a minute of mutual silence, "when I had just turned six and Ru was only two."

"Was that before you and Rukia came here?" Ichigo asked, interrupting.

"Yes, it was. Now be quiet before I decide not to tell you."

Ichigo stopped talking.

"It was four years ago when our parents were reported dead on a plane crash."

Ichigo inhaled sharply, but didn't say a word which Byakuya was thankful for.

"The Kuchiki family has always been rich for a long time because they owned a big Japanese trading company. Eventually, my father was the head of the company. Everyone was always jealous of him, and when I was born, they were all jealous of me."

"My father knew how greedy the Kuchiki family was, so he had written in his will that only I would receive the company when he died, and Ru would inherit several of the smaller companies our mother owned. Our relatives were furious."

"We had to wait until we were eighteen to inherit everything. Our guardian would be responsible for managing everything until then. Most of the Kuchiki jumped at the chance to try to adopt us. We ended up going home with our Uncle."

"But," Byakuya gritted his teeth in hatred, "Uncle was the worst choice we could've gone with. At first, he was nice but soon he changed. He barely fed us, he kept us in a cold room, and he never talked to us."

"I often overheard him talking with my Aunt about getting their hands on our inheritance. Then, one day, I heard something that made me run away with Ru that very night."

Byakuya pushed his face deeper into Ichigo's shoulder, his hand clenching at the fabric of the other's shirt.

"I heard Uncle say that it would be better off if Ru and I were dead as well."

"No..." Ichigo breathed, unconsciously bringing his arms around the younger boy.

"I was accidentally seen by Uncle when he was talking about getting rid of me and Ru, and he... "

"You don't have to tell me," Ichigo spoke gently.

"No, I-I'm fine," Byakuya shook his head weakly. "He locked me up in a cupboard. It was much smaller than this closet. I could barely breathe. Every time I made him angry, he would lock me in there. I would scratch at the door to make him let me out, but he would just laugh."

"He threatened me, that he would really go through with his plan and kill me. He said that with me dead, he would wait until Ru was of the right age and marry her for the company."

"His own niece...?" Ichigo said disgustedly.

"He would do it. I couldn't risk staying there a single day more. I packed whatever we needed and escaped the house with Ru in the middle of the night. We walked to an old park; I can still remember Ru crying because of how dark it was."

"I took her under a tree and told her to sleep," a dark shadow passed Byakuya's face, "suddenly, a filthy man crept out of the dark and headed towards us. I couldn't make out his face, but the way he kept looking at Ru bothered me a lot. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't outrun him because of Ru, and there was nowhere to hide. I knew there was no way out, but I swore I would die protecting Ru."

"Then suddenly, a woman called us from behind."

.

"There you are, children!"

A younger Byakuya cocked his head at the woman, his arms tightening around Rukia. He turned his head again towards the suspicious man approaching them, who had stopped in his tracks when the woman had spoken.

"Goodness, I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Byakuya caught the woman's eye, and saw her look directly at the man who watched them with a leer. When he saw he was being watched back, the man quickly turned and hobbled back into the darkness where he had come from.

"Jeez, there's more scum in this city than there is in the sewers," she hissed lowly, "you kids alright?"

Byakuya nodded, but was still on guard. The woman noticed, and she kept her distance as she pulled something out of her jacket's pocket.

"Don't worry, you'll be safe with me," she showed Byakuya her badge, "I'm a police officer."

Byakuya confirmed her claim as he read her badge and I.D. out loud in the dim light.

"See? You can trust me," the woman smiled. "Now, would you please tell me what you're doing here at this time of night?"

"Wer' runnin' away," Byakuya spoke up for the first time and Rukia sniffled in his arms. "Our Uncle wants to kill us."

Immediately, the woman's face hardened.

"Come on kids; let's get you somewhere warm while we talk. My car is parked right over there."

.

"She took us to a fast food restaurant, where she knew everyone. The cook even came out to say hello to her, and the cashiers knew her name. The police lady told us that she came to the restaurant with her family all the time. I finally started talking when Ru fell asleep."

"I felt like I could trust her, so I told her everything. From the day we heard about our parents' deaths, to the attitudes of the family, to the threats my Uncle made. She looked livid, and I was touched that someone was angry on our behalf. It was late, but she took us to the Karakura Orphanage, where she had called Rangiku."

"When I went back to Uncle's house with child services, I showed them where I had been locked up. At first, Uncle tried to play it off saying that I was lying, but then I showed them the scratches I had left on the inside of the cupboard's door."

"Uncle was charged, and later expelled from the Kuchiki family. Child services let us to be under the orphanage's responsibility rather than any of our relatives."

"From that day on, Ru and I have lived in the orphanage."

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry for suspecting you of anything, but I..."

Byakuya trailed off, but Ichigo tightened his arms around him.

"It's okay, it's okay."

"But-"

"Byakuya," Ichigo began gently, "you've done well. It must have been hard, right? Protecting Rukia, all by yourself? It's okay, everything is fine now. You're not on your own anymore."

Byakuya began shuddering.

"Are you laughing again? Really Byakuya, you-" Ichigo pulled back to look at Byakuya's face and saw in shock that the other boy, usually controlled and serious, was crying.

"Stop looking at'm," Byakuya mumbled, as he hiccupped in his tears. Ichigo understood and let Byakuya's head fall to his shoulder again and awkwardly patted the boy's back.

Ichigo then realized that the children of this orphanage had forced themselves to grow up and leave their childhoods behind. He wondered if Tōshirō and Kenpachi, both boys who seemed so wise for their ages, had also suffered like Byakuya had. He felt a sudden and odd motherly urge towards his new friends, wanting to care for them and their sorrows.

"Don't worry, I'm here now. I'll protect both you and Rukia and everyone else, so don't worry."

Byakuya looked up to Ichigo's face and gave him a wry look through his tears. Ichigo just grinned.

"After all, I'm older and twelve and you aren't."

Byakuya punched his arm.

"...You still punch like a girl."

Before Byakuya could purposely punch him harder just to prove he didn't hit like a girl, Ichigo quickly spoke, "But I would love to meet this police officer, because my mom was a police officer too. They might've known each other."

"That's impossible now," Byakuya replied miserably, "Ms. Masaki died the same year she saved us."

Ichigo froze.

"W-What was her last name, Byakuya?"

"I don't remember," Byakuya shrugged, but still looked upset, "we always called her by her first name. Rukia had even taken up calling her 'Mama' because Ms. Masaki didn't mind and loved Rukia and I like her own."

Ichigo still had a stricken expression on his face.

"You two... you two are the children she always talked about? You two were 'the sweet little girl' and 'her brother, the overprotective but honest boy'?"

Byakuya seemed confused.

"You knew her?"

"Byakuya, she was my-"

The doorknob suddenly rattled, and the door was opened. Both boys hissed at the sudden light that spilled in from the hallway.

.

Rangiku glanced at them with an amused look.

"Looking pretty cozy there," she said lightly, but the mischievous look was still on her face.

"Argh!" Both boys yelped, as they sprang away from their pseudo-embrace and turned red.

"You can come out of the closet now," Rangiku laughed, still looking at them with glee as if enjoying some sort of hidden joke.

"It took you long enough. We're coming out now, sheesh," Ichigo muttered and exited with Byakuya following closely behind him, to which Rangiku just laughed harder.

Rukia was hiding behind Rangiku's legs, and launched like a missile at Ichigo at seeing her brother's tear-stained face.

"Yer gonna pay for makin' bwother cwy!" Rukia bellowed in her tiny voice, fully intending to teach Ichigo a lesson. Byakuya looked tenderly at his little sister and held her back from Ichigo, the orange-haired boy was looking at her like a spawn of a demon.

"No, I'm fine, Ru. Why aren't you in bed yet?"

"'Cause Ru want'd ta see bwother!"

Byakuya ruffled the girl's hair, but Rukia continued glaring at Ichigo. Byakuya saw his sister's venomous glare directed at the older boy and winced.

"Ru," Byakuya started, "Ichigo didn't do anything to me, honest. In fact, he actually cheered me up a lot. He's my friend and makes me happy, so don't be mean to him, okay?"

Byakuya's pale skin was swiftly turning red at his words, and he strictly kept his eyes away from Ichigo.

"He's yer frien'?" Rukia looked skeptically at Ichigo. "But bwother, ar' ya sure ya want... _that_, as yer frien'?"

"Ichigo. My name is Ichigo." Ichigo spoke up irritably at being labelled as a 'that'.

"Yes Ru, I want him so you need to be nicer, okay?"

Rukia looked conflicted, but being asked by her dearest brother she gave in with a resigned expression and nodded.

She looked at Ichigo again with a sharp look, and approached him. Ichigo looked ready to be attacked by the tiny girl; instead she motioned him to lean down. He did so, completely prepared for a possible whack to the head.

To everyone's surprise, Rukia kissed Ichigo's cheek.

Byakuya's eye twitched, and Matsumoto covered her mouth with a 'oh my'.

Ichigo instantly pressed himself his back at the wall trying to get as far away from Rukia as possible, while Byakuya pulled his sister back towards him.

"W-What- y-you- t-that-" Ichigo was red and sputtering.

"Thas' fer makin' bwother happy, and ther's lots more wher' tha' came fr'm!"

"Where in the world did you learn something so improper, Ru?" Byakuya asked, shocked by his sister's behaviour.

"Soi telled me so!"

"Soi Fon," Byakuya spoke the guilty party's name with gritted teeth, "Ru, you are to sleep in Yachiru's room from now on. You are not to stay anywhere near Soi Fon."

"What! M'not stayin' in th' baby's room!" Rukia shrieked, and ran off towards the room she shared with Soi Fon.

"Rukia Kuchiki!" Byakuya stormed off, hot on her trail.

"I guess I should make sure they don't wake up the others," Ichigo sighed, "good night, Ms. Matsumoto."

He also disappeared down the hallway, and quieted the sound of bickering that could be heard.

Komamura's heavy steps resounded as he joined Matsumoto.

"You let them out?"

"Yes, because you would've probably left them there until morning. No wonder they're all scared silly of you," Matsumoto huffed, still watching at where the three had disappeared.

"What happened?"

Matsumoto grinned like a Cheshire cat, "A love triangle."

Komamura gave her a blank look, and walked away wordlessly, not wanting to dignify Matsumoto's stupidity with a response.

And thus, this ended another day in the Karakura Orphanage, with Ichigo making one more friend than he had before and the boy slept peacefully in the night with a slight smile on his face.


	5. Conflict

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Surprise, it's a double chapter update! It's a longer one this time, because I might be late with the next chapter. Blame end of term assignments... But I am doing my best to manage. Feedback/comments are appreciated as always. Please enjoy the chapter.

* * *

"So why were you an' Bya locked in the closet last night?" Tōshirō asked, brushing his teeth.

He was shot twin glares, and the two boys muttered 'don't ask'.

Tōshirō looked taken aback.

"What? Did you fight or somethin'?"

"Don't ask," both the other boys answered together again.

Tōshirō blinked.

"Are you tryin' to be like Kiyo and Sen?"

There was a toothbrush thrown at Tōshirō's head.

"H-Hey! I was just askin'!"

At breakfast, Byakuya kept shooting glares at Soi Fon who ate unaware of the effects of her vast knowledge that she had imparted on Rukia. Ichigo kept himself from looking at Rukia, who seemed to want to catch his eye. Renji looked utterly puzzled at everyone's behaviour, while Kiyone and Sentarō took the opportunity to take second helpings while everyone was distracted. Kenpachi was looking at everyone's discomfort with great fun, while Matsumoto was upstairs changing Yachiru. After his initial questions, Tōshirō didn't bother with it all and was reading a book he had brought downstairs.

Matsumoto finally came down with Yachiru, and Kenpachi excitedly greeted his little sister before sitting down to his breakfast again.

"Ahem, good morning everyone," Matsumoto started, and waited until everyone had greeted her back, "as you all know, since it is summer vacation, your schools are currently closed."

The children cheered at this fact. Matsumoto cleared her throat.

"But, to help us learn and be active, Ms. Shihōin will be coming to teach us for an extra-special class. She is in the city taking a break from her travels, and has agreed to come today."

"Yes!" Soi Fon got up from the table with a shout. Everyone else seemed accustomed to this, but Ichigo looked at the usually reserved girl in surprise.

"I gotta get ready," Soi Fon exclaimed before rushing upstairs.

"Me too!" Rukia jumped off her chair.

"Not so fast, Ru. Finish your breakfast," Byakuya chided.

Rukia made a face, but glumly sat down again, picking at her omelette.

"But Ru doesn't like omu'lette!"

"Rukia," Byakuya spoke in a warning voice, using her full name to imply the seriousness of eating omelettes and finishing breakfasts.

Ichigo watched this brother-sister dynamic with a somewhat wistful feeling. He reached over Rukia's plate and picked up her omelette.

"There you go, Rukia. I'll finish it for you. I like omelettes anyway," Ichigo smiled.

"Spoiling her," Byakuya muttered under his breath to Ichigo, who grinned at the younger boy.

Rukia looked at Ichigo with sparkling eyes and a touch of colour on her cheeks. She leaned over to Ichigo and kissed his cheek again.

All the children stopped to stare with open-mouths at this action. Renji dropped his fork with a clink, the twins stared with wide-eyes, and Kenpachi looked vaguely surprised. Even Tōshirō dropped his book to the ground with a heavy thud. Byakuya's face changed drastically to an ominous expression.

"_Rukia Kuchiki_..."

Before Byakuya could scold her, Rukia rushed off, and they could hear her footsteps thumping on the stairs.

Matsumoto giggled, and all the children turned to look at her. She was mouthing 'love triangle' and making a triangle with her fingers with a grin that could rival Kenpachi's.

A knock to the tune of Ode to Joy was heard on the door.

"Yoru is here!" Kiyone and Sentarō jumped from their seats, forgetting about the scene they had witnessed.

Renji, trying not to look excited but failing, followed them, also apparently having an attention span of a five-year old as he left the awkward scene behind him.

Matsumoto left to open the door, leaving Yachiru on her baby seat.

"Sooo," Kenpachi drawled slowly to Ichigo, and shifted his eyepatch, "you an' Ru, you'er a thingy, huh?"

"They are not anything," Byakuya steamed, "Ru is just going through a phase."

"Uh-huh," Kenpachi grinned, "a kissy kissy one?"

Byakuya let out a frustrated sigh and left the table, stomping up the stairs.

"Aww, he's no fun, right Yachiwu?"

Yachiru gurgled happily.

Kenpachi turned to his little sister and continued talking to her as if she understood the situation.

Tōshirō was oddly quiet the whole time, and Ichigo looked at him curiously.

"Are you okay?" Tōshirō asked, surprising Ichigo with the same question he was about to ask the white-haired boy.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

Tōshirō smiled softly, "Good."

Before Ichigo could say anything, a lithe woman with a high ponytail and gleaming eyes entered the kitchen.

.

"You should honestly think about taking a break and settling down, Yoru," Matsumoto was saying. The small woman next to her looked at her dryly.

"Like I said Rangiku, I have no intention of-"

She turned her head and saw Ichigo. Her eyes widened.

"_K-Kaien_?"

Matsumoto hurried into view.

"No, no Yoruichi, this is Ichigo," Matsumoto turned to Ichigo, "Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Kuro…saki?"

"Yes. Ichigo, this is Yoruichi Shihōin. She travels the world and is a researcher. She teaches sometimes at the orphanage."

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Shihōin," Ichigo smiled amiably, but the other woman didn't return the smile. She looked about him in poorly veiled distaste. She turned to see Tōshirō staring at her openly with a glare. Tōshirō shut his book loudly, and took Ichigo's arm.

"C'mon Ichigo, let's go see where Bya headed off to."

"Good idea," Matsumoto agreed, "call everyone down, so Ms. Shihōin can start her lesson."

With a confused look, Ichigo nodded and let Tōshirō pull him away from the kitchen.

As soon as they were out of an earshot, Shihōin collapsed on a kitchen chair.

Kenpachi barely spared her a glance as he continued talking to a babbling Yachiru.

"That Snowy brat still hasn't changed. He can still see right through me. And he was right to take him away when he did, or else I would have definitely said something that would hurt the Kurosaki boy."

Matsumoto gave her friend a look of pity as Shihōin ranted in misery.

"I would've said something like, you don't look a thing like Masaki's kid except for the hair, or tell me how you saw Masaki die and how you ended up alive, or something like," Shihōin paused and swallowed, "give back Kaien."

"If you had said that last part, I would've made sure that you would never step in this house again," Komamura's deep voice spoke, as he entered the kitchen.

"As if you're over it," Shihōin returned bitterly.

"I have never forgotten Kaien, Yoruichi. But if you spend time with the boy, you'll realize Ichigo is more like Kaien than anyone else. I don't think Kaien would ever hate Ichigo, no matter what happened."

Shihōin slammed a fist on the table, her voice rising in volume.

"Are you saying that Kaien didn't want to live?!"

"Of course not, I'm saying that Ichigo has gone through a lot as well," Komamura rebuked Shihōin.

"And who's alive right now- him or Kaien? Who do you think got the better end, huh?!"

Yachiru began to cry, and Kenpachi leveled Shihōin with a look bordering on solemnity and hostility.

Matsumoto picked up Yachiru, and made shushing noises. She glared at both Komamura and Shihōin, and pointed to the backyard. The two slowly withdrew their ire, and headed outside to continue their exchange.

Matsumoto sighed and bounced Yachiru in her arms.

"Did Ichi kill someon' named Kaien?"

Matsumoto stared at Kenpachi with shocked eyes.

"No! Oh my go- he didn't! Ms. Shihōin is just overreacting- whatever that happened to Kaien wasn't Ichigo's fault!"

Kenpachi looked at her with an accusatory look in his single visible eye, "Awr'you twryin' to convince me, or youwrself?"

Matsumoto inwardly cursed at how perceptive Kenpachi could be, and had forgotten how intelligent both Tōshirō and Kenpachi were for a seven-year old and six-year old respectively.

"Kenpachi," Matsumoto listened intently for anyone before continuing, "Ichigo doesn't have any memories of the time he spent with Kaien. He-"

With that, Kenpachi held up a hand.

"I dun' wanna heawr anymowre. He's happy now," Kenpachi looked at her with an unusual tone of a plea in his voice, "just let him be happy fowr now. He's m'fwriend."

Feeling her heart break a bit at the child, who she had always seen as the toughest of the bunch, make such a sad request, she could do nothing but nod slowly.

"Thanksh, Rangiku."

"We gots th' papers, Rangiku!" the twins sang as they skipped back into the kitchen.

"An' I got the pencils," Renji looked around, "wher' did Yoru go?"

"She went out for a minute," Matsumoto answered, "why don't you all go see her outside?"

As she said this, a loud crash of glass breaking was heard coming from the backyard.

"On second thought, why not set up in the living room?" Matsumoto hastily corrected.

"Okay," the children replied, marching out.

"Kenpachi, would you watch your sister for a second?"

Yachiru gurgled again from her baby chair.

"Yesh, I can."

"Alright then," Matsumoto prepared herself as he entered the fray outside in the backyard.

.

Tōshirō watched from the second story window at the scene unfolding below and sighed at how childish adults could be as Shihōin attempted to strike Komamura, her hand barely stayed by Matsumoto's intervention.

"What are you looking at?" Ichigo asked, looking up from the letter he was writing.

"Nothing," Tōshirō lied smoothly, making his way over to Ichigo's bed.

"Shouldn't we get everyone downstairs, like Ms. Matsumoto said?"

"No, not yet."

Ichigo saw that the white-haired boy was hiding something, but he didn't pry mainly because he trusted Tōshirō. Byakuya burst into the room, with dragging a heavily protesting Rukia with him.

"But bwother, I wanna use the Soi's lippystick too!"

"And effectively damage your skin? I don't think so."

Ichigo and Tōshirō exchanged knowing looks of amusement.

Ichigo opened his mouth to say something, but words that were not his echoed through the house.

"_I will never accept that boy_!"

The four children looked at each other in stunned silence, and they wordlessly slipped downstairs.

.

Shihōin was stomping through the house towards the main door, and anger was clear on her face.

"Wait Yoruichi," Matsumoto followed her, "what about the children? They've been eagerly waiting for you, and you'll leave just them like this?"

"I'll come back on some other day," was the cold reply.

The woman then saw Ichigo in the line of children peeking from the stairs. She took long strides towards him and slammed a hand on the wall at the side of his head making him visibly flinch.

"I can never forgive you for living so easily despite of what you've done. I will never forgive you, and I pity your mother for having the misfortune of conceiving yo-"

Tōshirō's icy grip on her wrist stopped her from uttering any more of the hate that dripped from her lips.

"I think," Tōshirō started coolly but with an unmistakable fiery malice in his eyes, "that you should leave for today."

"Hah, this is funny coming from you Tōshirō," Shihōin yanked her hand from the younger boy's grip. "You know about Kaien. You should already understand."

"I do, more than anyone I do," Tōshirō answered, "but I won't let you keep hurtin' Ichigo. He's different- he's special."

"You and Sajin both spouting the same crap," Shihōin spat, "there is nothing special about this boy except the fact that he is a bringer of death. A reaper-"

A fork was flung at Shihōin's head, and she expertly dodged it.

"Oopsy, my mishtake," Kenpachi grinned, with his eyepatch at an awkward angle. He held up another piece of pointed cutlery, "but the nextsh one won't be."

"Kenpachi!" Matsumoto shouted horrified at what he'd done and rushed to take the butter knife out of his hand. "Yoruichi, just- just go."

Without another word, Shihōin spun and stalked off, slamming the door behind her.

A silence befell the group.

Suddenly a pattering of footsteps came down the stairs.

"Yoru! M'ready," Soi Fon gushed, looking pretty and clearly wearing fancier clothing than she would normally wear. Not noticing the tension, she asked Rukia happily, "Where's Yoru?"

Rukia sniffled and started crying, holding tightly onto her brother's shirt.

Ichigo was still standing where Shihōin had pinned him, and he felt Tōshirō take his hand and look at him with turquoise eyes clouded with unease and concern.

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo looked at him, but was unseeing as if eyes didn't account Tōshirō as a being. Suddenly, Ichigo's entire posture gave a jolt and he jerked away from Tōshirō. He took several steps backwards on the stairs, and would have nearly fallen if Kenpachi hadn't steadied him.

"Ichigo?" Again, Tōshirō called him, his voice taking on an apprehensive tone. The children looked at Ichigo with worried gazes, and the twins and Renji had also ventured out of the living room at the noise and had come just in time to see Ichigo freeze up.

"M'fine…"

The look in Ichigo's eyes suddenly changed, his whole expression warping with pain. He looked around frantically, but held his head with one hand.

"Captain… Hitsugaya? What are you doing here… why are you smaller than usual?"

"C-Captain?" Tōshirō looked like Ichigo had become some alien thing incapable of making any sense.

Ichigo looked around.

"Yeah, what's going on…? Am I dreaming? I swear I didn't even drink when your Lieutenant forced me, but maybe Rangiku slipped something in my water?"

Ichigo saw Matsumoto in the corner of his eye and he stumbled to her. Matsumoto held Yachiru closely and watched Ichigo with growing horror as she realized that he was having an episode again.

"Ne, Rangiku… did you do something? Why is everyone so tiny?" He let his eyes roll about the room. "Whoa, even the great Captain Kuchiki was affected…? I am totally going to decimate the twelfth division with my Getsuga Tenshō this time … hey, where's Senbonzakura?"

Ichigo turned to Tōshirō.

"And where's your Hyōrinmaru? And Rukia's Sode no Shirayuki? And Renji's Zabimaru? Hey… where are all of your Zanpakutō?"

The children looked at him blankly and looked to Matsumoto as if she could fix the situation, but she looked just as immobilized as they did. They then came to dawning understanding that there was something very wrong with their friend.

"Why are ya talkin' like a crazy?" Renji spoke up first. Everyone waited with bated breaths as Ichigo turned to him.

"What are you talking about, Renji? Are you trying to pick a fight again?" Ichigo's face then changed to one of horror as well. He blindly searched himself for something, "Hey, wait, where's Zangetsu? Where did Zangetsu go?"

He spun to face the Matsumoto who seemed to be the only one unaffected by what seemed to be a diabolical experiment in turning all of them into mini sizes.

"I can't talk to Zangetsu in my mind, I can't hear him!" Ichigo spoke hysterically. "Where did Zangetsu go?! I can't even hear my inner Hollow!"

Komamura stepped inside from the backyard door, confused by Ichigo's shrill shouts and strode to where chaos was erupting from the boy's mind.

"Ichigo," Komamura let his hand fall on the young boy's head, "calm down, it's okay."

"It's not! I can't protect anyone like this! Where did my powers go? This can't be happening again- I can't even feel my own reiatsu and I-"

Komamura once again, let his arm hit Ichigo's vital point in the neck and knocked the boy out.

"Ichigo!" Tōshirō and Byakuya rushed down the stairs.

"Rangiku, get Retsu on the phone, now!" Komamura barked, and Matsumoto pulled herself together and ran for the phone in the kitchen.

.

When Ichigo next woke up, it was to Unohana leaning over him.

"You're awake."

He groaned in response.

"W-What happened to me?"

"Before that," Unohana cut in, "I would like to know something. What is a Zanpakutō? Who or what is Zangetsu? And… which Ichigo are you, right now?"

Ichigo looked at her dumbly, which gave her all the answers she needed. She sighed.

"You're still at the Karakura Orphanage. I was called from the clinic to come see you."

"Did I get hurt or something?" Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck. He took in his surroundings, realizing that he was in the room he shared with Byakuya and Tōshirō, but the two other boys were nowhere to be seen.

"You weren't hurt, but-"

The door creaked opened just a crack. Two pairs of eyes looked through before bursting the door open.

"Ichi's awake! Ichi's awake!" Kiyone and Sentarō shouted down the hallway, as they scampered into the room. They seemed to realize something before they stopped a good distance from Ichigo's bed.

The rest of the children had arrived behind the twins who looked at Ichigo with wary eyes.

"Awr' ya okay now?" Kiyone asked, with her twin for once being quiet.

"Yeah, I feel fine," Ichigo blinked.

No more confirmations were needed as the twins rushed over to Ichigo and jumped onto his bed.

"Good! It'same ol' Ichi!"

The children who were shifting uneasily at the doorway began filtering into the room as they heard this, losing some of their restlessness at seeing their friend having returned to his senses.

"What happened?"

"You wer' shoutin' and screamin' some crazy stuff," Renji answered straightforwardly, "scared all o' us."

"We wasn't scawed!" The twins replied hotly.

"They sure wer'," Renji rolled his eyes as the twins yelled "wern't!" loudly.

"Yer alright?" Kenpachi asked, plopping down next to Ichigo. Tōshirō sat down by Ichigo's feet.

"Yeah, but I don't understand what's going on," Ichigo looked frustrated, "I wasn't even asleep this time, but I still can't remember what happened."

"Maybe it was a daydream? Somethin' like that?" Tōshirō finally spoke up, "I bet you'd fall asleep on your feet."

This made Renji, the twins and Kenpachi giggle, and Ichigo snort.

"Gee thanks for that, Tōshirō," but he smiled knowing that Tōshirō had considerably lessened the tension in the room.

Byakuya walked in with great difficulty as he was clamped onto by a teary Rukia.

"She wants to know if you're okay but is too scared to ask herself."

"Am'not!" Rukia answered immediately. She let go of Byakuya and hesitantly walked towards Ichigo. "Ar' ya… alwright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry for scaring you, Rukia," Ichigo gave a pained smile.

She nodded sagely and with limitless forgiveness, and then jabbed her thumb at Byakuya, "Bwother was weeeally worri'd too but he dosn't wanna say."

"Rukia!"

Ichigo's smile turned a bit more genuine.

"Thanks Rukia. And you too, Byakuya."

"I didn't say anything," Byakuya interjected, but nonetheless looked relieved at Ichigo's recovery and carefully sat on Ichigo's already crowded bed with Rukia on his lap.

"But he din't deny it, eithr'," Renji added, making Byakuya give him a withering look.

They all playfully bickered, as Unohana watched the scene with warmth in her eyes.

"Ichigo," Unohana spoke, startling the other children who had forgotten she had still been present. "I'll be heading back to the clinic. If you need to talk, I'm always willing to listen."

"Thanks Dr. Unohana," Ichigo gave her a soft look full of gratitude.

She nodded, and left the room, intent on speaking to Rangiku before she left.

Ichigo relaxed a bit, before looking around.

"Hey, where's Soi Fon?"

The other children who had been lightly conversing became quiet at that, and didn't meet Ichigo's eyes.

"What… did I say?" Ichigo blinked in surprise at the sudden reaction he had caused.

"Nothing, she's not here," Tōshirō replied briefly.

"So where is she?"

Rukia sniffled a bit.

"She's in th'closet," Rukia spoke desolately for her friend.

Ichigo didn't look any less confused. "Why?"

"'Cause Sa-Ko put her in ther'," Renji spoke up.

"Why would he do that?"

"She did somethin' bad," Kenpachi replied this time with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Which was…?"

"Ichigo," Byakuya spoke slowly when no one else dared to say a word, "she tried to hurt you with scissors while you were passed out."

"_What_? Why? I mean, I didn't do anything- oh no," Ichigo moaned, "I did something to her didn't I? While I was out of it, I did something, right?"

"No, ya din't do anythin'!" The twins shook their heads wildly. "Ya jus' saids som' stuff ish all!"

"Then why did she…?"

"She blamed you," Tōshirō answered, "she thought Yoru left because of you."

"She luffs Yowru, an' Yowru doeshn't come oft'n," Kenpachi explained, "so shwe got mad."

Ichigo bit his lip.

"It… _was_ my fault, wasn't it?"

All the children spoke up at once with negatives.

"No, thas' not-"

"-Yoru was having a bad day-"

"-She din't-"

"-You aren't-"

"-Not yer fault-"

"-Thas' jus' not it!"

Ichigo shook his head and they quieted down. His head was aching, but Ichigo shifted out of the bed.

"Ichi, wher' ya goin'?" The twins asked worriedly.

Ichigo looked back at the younger children who watched him with sad eyes. He gave them a reassuring smile.

"I'm just going to talk with Soi Fon, that's all."

The twins jumped off the bed.

"Then us too-"

"No, but thank you Kiyone and Sentarō, I'll be just fine," and he left the room, his feet padding towards the hallway he remembered the closet being at, where he and Byakuya had been locked in the last day.

Byakuya gave Tōshirō a look, which clearly implied that Ichigo hadn't told _them_ to stay away.

.

It wasn't long before Ichigo had found the dingy old closet. He tried the doorknob, but it had been locked shut. He looked about for the key, and spotted it on a high hook next to the door.

Before he could figure out a way to get to it, he heard Soi Fon's voice.

"Who's ther'?"

He paused before answering the six-year old.

"It's me."

There was no reply before Soi Fon let out a stream of curses that even Ichigo jumped back at.

"You her' to laugh at me?" She demanded.

"No, I'm here to help you out."

"I don' need your help! I don' need anyone who sent away Yoru!"

"I didn't send her away, and I don't even know why she was so angry at me!"

"Liar!"

Ichigo took a calming breath.

"Listen, for whatever happened I apologize, alright?"

Soi Fon didn't answer for a long moment, "Jus' get me out of her'."

Ichigo saw the key hung high. He searched for a way to get to it, and found a footstool in Yachiru's room. Yachiru was sleeping soundly in her crib and he silently gave her a fond look before quietly picking up the stool and walking back to the closet.

He stood upon it, and made several swipes at the key that still couldn't reach. With a final grab, the key clattered off the hook and jingled to the floor.

Ichigo got down and picked it up.

"Soi Fon, I got the key."

She didn't reply as he inserted into the lock and clicked it open.

With a warrior's cry, Soi Fon leapt at Ichigo as soon as the door opened. She punched, hit and kicked whatever she could as hard as she could possibly manage, throwing all of her small weight into her blows.

Ichigo raised his hands to shield himself.

"Fight back," Soi Fon screamed, "fight me!"

"I don't hit girls," Ichigo murmured and grunted as Soi Fon gave him a hard kick to the side.

Soi Fon picked up the small footstool and started bashing Ichigo's body with it.

"Well, you'd bett'r start befor' I kill you!"

A white blur pushed Soi Fon off of Ichigo, and Soi Fon shrieked as she was thrown to the floor under Tōshirō.

"Ichigo, are you alright?" Byakuya hastily knelt next to the boy on the floor.

"Get offa me, Snowy!"

"Not until you chill out, Soi!"

"I won' until he begs Yoru to come back!"

The adults, who had been downstairs, heavily plodded up to the mayhem. Unohana, who had not left yet, gasped in shock at Ichigo who lay on his back. She sat quickly next to Byakuya, and winced at the discoloured skin that was appearing on Ichigo's skin, forming ugly bruises.

Komamura grabbed a struggling Soi Fon and took her to another part of the house, with Matsumoto at his heels.

"Yoru!" Soi Fon's scream echoed in the house, as the two adults took her into another room, and firmly shut the door behind them.

.

"Ichigo, can you stand?" Unohana asked, helping the boy sit up.

Ichigo nodded, but as he tried, he quickly shook his head as he hissed in pain.

Unohana glanced at his ankle which looked twisted and she surmised that Soi Fon's sudden attack must have led him to fall on it in such a position.

Tōshirō hoisted one of Ichigo's arms around his shoulders, and despite his small stature, lifted Ichigo up. Byakuya realizing what the white-haired boy was doing, lifted Ichigo's other arm onto his own shoulders in seconds. Unohana motioned them to bring him to a room that Ichigo had never seen used before, but there was a bed and desk and the room was clean.

"This is where I sleep when I stay over sometimes at the orphanage," Unohana answered to Ichigo's observing look.

She had Byakuya and Tōshirō lay Ichigo down on the bed, before undressing the boy of his shirt, and wincing at the bruises that were under there. She sent the other two boys away to fetch towels, warm water in a bowl and ice.

"Dr. Unohana… it hurts…"

Unohana nodded in sympathy, and pulled out a box of pills from her doctor's bag that lay under the bed.

"Ichigo, this isn't meant for children but it's a strong painkiller that will make the hurt go away. It might make you sleepy, okay?"

Ichigo nodded, and let Unohana put the pill into his mouth and she let him take a sip from her water bottle that stood on her bedside table.

Five minutes later when Byakuya and Tōshirō had fetched what Unohana had asked them for, Ichigo was blissfully unaware and asleep.

.

When Ichigo next opened his eyes, it was dark outside. The moonlight struck on a quietly ticking clock on the wall which showed that it was one o' clock at night.

A rumble broke Ichigo's sleep, as he realized that he had not had either lunch or dinner the last day. Still half-asleep, he eventually succumbed to his stomach's insistences and slid off the bed. He flinched at his ankle which flared with pain.

He was disoriented and when he realized that he wasn't in his own room the memories of the last day hazily came back to him.

He lifted up his shirt to see fresh gauze patched on his form. He sighed with no real emotion or purpose, and pushed open the door continuing on his search for food.

The hallway was pitch black and eerie, the complete opposite of how it was during the day. Ichigo crept against a wall, using his hand to grope blindly in the dark. He finally made it to the stairs, and carefully stepped downwards, avoiding the steps that particularly creaked to avoid being discovered.

He let out a breath that he hadn't realized that he had been holding as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He walked to the kitchen, his footsteps soft and quiet. The refrigerator hummed with life as it was open, as if saying hello to Ichigo. Ichigo grabbed the milk jug and slowly shut the refrigerator again.

In a clean bowl lying by the sink, he poured in some milk. His eyes had slowly adjusted to the dark, and slowly he made out the canister of oatmeal that always sat atop the counter.

He twisted off the lid, and let a hefty amount pour into his bowl of milk before shutting the canister once again.

He took his meal to the table, and found a sugar bowl sitting next to the salt and pepper shakers. He scooped some sugar into his oatmeal, and began eating.

It was a warm night and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The peace showed in no way of the commotion that had been caused just hours earlier.

Ichigo finished his food and returned the dirtied bowl and spoon to the sink where Komamura would wash it in the morning.

He was still drowsy and had every intention of going to sleep, but he heard Matsumoto and Unohana's voices float through from the living room.

He supposed that he should thank the kind doctor for taking care of him again, and apologize to both of them for the racket he had been involved in. Then he would wish them a good night and head back to bed.

He was only steps away from the living room when he froze at hearing his name. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he couldn't help but linger outside the room to hear what they were saying about him. He heard Unohana's voice first.

.

"Honestly Rangiku, you shouldn't be drinking right now. You'll have a horrid headache in the morning."

"Don' care," Matsumoto replied in a slurred voice, the sound of a glass being filled echoing in the room. "I'm sick of it, Retsu."

"Of what?"

"All of it. About Kaien, about Masaki, about Gin- I'm just sick of it all."

Ichigo felt his heartbeat pick up as he heard his mother's name mentioned. He had already figured out from Byakuya's past, that Matsumoto was familiar with his mother, but he had never gotten the right chance to ask about it.

"You don't mean that," Unohana spoke gently; "you loved them."

"Dam- Darned right, but whatever I love ends up in crap," Matsumoto snorted. "I can't do anything right- I couldn't even realize how deep Soi Fon's feelings ran for Yoruichi. If I had known, I could have prevented Ichigo from being hurt."

"Children are not easily understood, Rangiku. You should know that."

"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be an adult. I'm supposed to at least pretend like I have all the answers, but I don't have a dam- darned clue. Who can they depend on if not us, Retsu? Just what kind of adult am I?"

"Just because you're an adult," Unohana started, "doesn't mean that you're strong. It takes courage to build up strength- it doesn't matter whether you're an adult or not."

"Then I must still be a child."

"Don't underestimate children, Rangiku. They are sometimes more perceptive and tougher than most adults sometimes. Take a look at the children in this orphanage for example."

"Yeah, they've been through a hel- heck of a lot. But I should've seen this coming; after all, Yoruichi was the one who saved Soi Fon back then," Matsumoto gulped down her drink before setting it down with a clink. "Soi Fon doesn't just see Yoruichi as an adult but as her saviour."

"That's right… I can't begin to imagine the extent of abuse Soi Fon suffered at the hands of her parents."

"If they can be called that," Matsumoto hissed.

Behind the wall, Ichigo stiffened, feeling all of his resentment turn into sympathy. Soi Fon had been _abused_?

"I can still remember the day Yoruichi called me that she had found a four-year old girl who had slit her own wrists in a public washroom," Unohana closed her eyes and breathed. "It was the most horrifying phone call I had ever received. I could hear Yoruichi's voice wavering on the phone on the phone. I told her to calm down and call the Karakura emergency number for an ambulance and that I would meet her at the hospital."

"But the case was more severe than self-harm," Matsumoto spoke, "Soi Fon had been abused all her life by both of her parents. Apparently, her own mother also cut her wrists in depression and told Soi Fon that she should do it too if she wanted to get away from being hurt."

"Some people just don't know what parenting means," Matsumoto cursed into her cup.

Unohana nodded in agreement, and continued talking.

"When she awoke in the hospital, she was terrified that she had survived and that her parents would beat her for her actions. It was only when Yoruichi came in, that Soi Fon settled down. Her parents were both charged for child abuse and Soi Fon came to live with you in the Karakura Orphanage for the past two years."

"Luckily," Matsumoto interrupted, "she had a playmate and friend in Rukia. She was slowly forgetting her abuse- I was just so sure of it." Matsumoto gulped down her glass and began filling it again.

"But I was wrong." Matsumoto's voice hardened.

"Rangiku, violence is violence. No matter what you could've done, you can't change her past and the violence she internalized."

"I know! I know… but when I saw what she had done to Ichigo, and just how brutal she was," Matsumoto let out something akin to a sob, "I keep wondering if I've done anything at all to make her better. Maybe I selfishly decided that she was changing, when I was actually missing the signs that she needed help."

"You did your best, Rangiku. We can't foresee every incident and even if we do, we can't stop them all," Unohana took Matsumoto's shaking hand away from the glass she held.

"All we can hope is that she learns not to forget the violence she suffered, but to see past it," Unohana held Matsumoto's hand, "she needs to see it as something that shouldn't be inherited."

Matsumoto broke down and sniffled in tears. Ichigo knew that this had turned into something he had completely no right to witness and he turned up the stairs again, pondering on all he had heard.

He climbed upstairs again, and reached the room he had woken up in. He quietly closed the door behind him.

In doing so, he did not hear Matsumoto's cry of distress about him.

"But in comparison to her, I feel like Ichigo's case is even more hopeless. Soi Fon had never experienced love, but he had it all and it was taken away. I feel like he can never move forward just because this world is so cruel to have robbed him of everything at such a young age."

Unohana embraced her friend tightly, but said nothing as Matsumoto continued her sobbed sentences.

"And worst of all," Matsumoto cried, "is that he doesn't even remember because of his amnesia- he doesn't even know how Kaien gave his life for him or how his mother died along with his entire family all because of a mistake he made. "

"And my worst fear is that when he does remember- I just know that his memories will break him."


	6. Reconciled

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Here we are; another chapter of WtKO. Thanks for being patient. It's more uplifting this time because I wanted to write something refreshing after finishing my term assignments; but I'm sure it is very well-needed after that last rather upsetting one. To my curious reviewers, everything will be explained in due time, and I hope it will meet with your satisfaction. As always, thank you for all your support and feedback, and please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

The next morning, Ichigo got up surprisingly early. The birds were chirping outside, and dawn was just wispily breaking into the darkness outside. The clock ticked to five o' clock in the morning.

Ichigo got out of bed, fixed the covers, and straightened out his clothes before leaving the room.

He had been up until late last night, thinking about what he had incidentally heard about Soi Fon, and he decided that he couldn't leave the girl as she was. He wanted to be friends with everyone in the orphanage because slowly, they were becoming close to him like a family.

Ichigo walked towards the girls' room, and quietly opened the door.

Rukia was sprawled sideways on her bed, arms and legs dangling over the sides and her blanket haphazardly strewn somewhere under her bed. Kiyone slept in a little ball, but for some reason she slept on top of her blanket rather than covering herself with it.

He looked for Soi Fon, who slept on her side neatly under her blanket.

He walked over to her and shook her shoulder.

She groaned, and swatted his hand away. When he repeated his action, she opened her eyes and squinted up with them. When the orange of Ichigo's hair was caught in her view, her eyes immediately snapped open as if she were caught in an ambush prepared by Ichigo.

"Shh," Ichigo immediately covered her mouth, "you want to fight me, right? Then let's do it, right now. Everyone is asleep so no one will get in our way."

She yanked his hand off her mouth and looked at him warily.

"You promis' wer' gonna fight?" She asked, her voice still mussed by sleep.

"Yes, so get up and let's go. But be quiet or else we'll be caught."

Though not liking being ordered around, Soi Fon still accepted his idea and quietly climbed out of bed. She followed Ichigo out of the room. Ichigo looked both ways down the hall for any sign of movement, before motioning Soi Fon to follow him.

The two children made their way downstairs, and Ichigo led the way to the backyard. He opened the door with a push, and felt soft but wet grass under his feet as he walked outside.

.

It was a graying morning, with highlights of purple and gold signaling the end of night and the arrival of the new day. The backyard was filled with shadows, and there was a dim light that illuminated the figures of the children as they walked to the middle of the backyard.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ichigo saw Soi Fon shiver in the morning's cool breeze.

"Are you okay?"

Soi Fon nodded civilly before realizing that they were going to fight and set a glare on him.

"This time you won' have Snowy or Princess to back you up."

Ichigo stared at her, "Princess?"

"Byakuya," Soi Fon answered, rolling her eyes, "'cause he has girly long hair."

To her surprise, Ichigo started laughing loudly. She froze and glanced back at the house, covering his mouth with her hand.

"You stupid! Stop befor' we get caught!"

But Ichigo's laughter continued although it was muffled, which made the corners of Soi Fon's lips also tremble with amusement.

"It's funny, because he really _does_ have girly hair," Ichigo giggled as Soi Fon withdrew her hand.

"Ev'n girlier than Ru's!" Soi Fon couldn't help herself adding.

They both giggled then, and when they had stopped both felt more relaxed.

"So, you ready?" Ichigo asked.

Soi Fon immediately got into a defensive position as if expecting Ichigo to attack her.

Ichigo looked at her with soft pity, before he turned to the soccer ball he had seen lying in the backyard on the first day he had come to the orphanage.

"Alright, so your goal is over there, and mine is over here-"

"Wait, what're you talkin' about?" Soi Fon spoke confusedly.

"The goals," Ichigo explained patiently, "that's where we have to get the ball into to get a point."

"We're gonna play _soccer_?"

"Yup."

"But you said we wer' gonna fight!"

"We are," Ichigo shrugged, "but we're going to fight through soccer. The winner will be the one that gets the most goals in."

"What kinda sissy fight is this?!"

Ichigo manoeuvred the ball around Soi Fon, and with a kick that would have made Karin proud, he shot the ball into Soi Fon's goal area.

"I scored one point; that means I'm winning."

"Ferget it, m'not playing this stupid game!" Soi Fon turned back to the house.

"Oh," Ichigo started casually, "I didn't know that you were a chicken."

Soi Fon froze, a murderous glare entering her eyes.

"_What _did you call me?"

"Chicken. Bwak bwak," Ichigo taunted, "afraid that I'll beat you?"

"In yer dreams! I'll play yer dumb game and win too!"

"Then, you'd better start playing!" Ichigo ran towards the ball, chased by an infuriated Soi Fon.

Though Ichigo knew that he was twelve- six whole years older than the girl he had challenged- he still found her giving him trouble. Soi Fon was surprisingly agile, as she easily glided to get at the ball, and Ichigo kept missing her small figure as it danced circles around him.

He had just gotten the ball when Soi Fon kicked his leg hard to get the ball back.

"Penalty! That was a penalty!"

"A _what_?"

"That means," Ichigo stated with his seemingly infinite patience, "that I get a free shot because you kicked me. If you hurt the other player, you get punished."

"Thas' not fair!"

"Well, hurting other people isn't very fair, is it?"

"Then wh'not hit me back?" Soi Fon argued. "Then we'll be th'same!"

Ichigo's gaze softened.

"I don't want to hurt you, Soi Fon. It will make me sad."

Soi Fon looked utterly baffled and partway embarrassed, turning red and twisting her hands.

"Stop sayin' stuff like that!"

"I won't, because Soi Fon is my friend."

"Well," Soi Fon replied, a bit uncertainly, "yer not my frien'!"

There was a silence between them for a couple of seconds, and Ichigo came closer to Soi Fon. Soi Fon genuinely thought that Ichigo would hit her then.

She screwed her eyes shut tightly, "You ca' hit me once, only once! Then we'll be th'same!"

But Ichigo's hand surprisingly fluffed her hair. She fluttered opened her eyes to see him smiling. His hand fell from her hair, gently to hold her cheek.

"I want to be friends. I want to be friends with you, so we can play together, like we are right now."

Soi Fon was flushed now, but tilted her head to Ichigo's hand.

"But wern't we fightin'?"

"No. Fighting isn't good, right? It hurts a lot and isn't fun, right?"

At Soi Fon's nod, he continued, "This wasn't fighting, this was having fun. Didn't you have fun?"

"N…yesh," Soi Fon admitted tentatively. "It was fun."

"Then don't fight Soi Fon, don't hurt people. Learn to like everyone, and if they don't like you and make you cry, you can come to me."

"T-To you?"

"Yes," Ichigo smiled softly, "so I can say 'it's okay' and we can have fun together like this so you'll feel better."

With a small cry, Soi Fon hugged Ichigo.

"It's okay, it's okay."

"M'sorry, din't mean to…"

"I know Soi Fon, I know."

"Why're you so nice? Why'd you not hate me?"

"I don't want to hate Soi Fon, I like Soi Fon and I want her to like me. Is that okay?"

Soi Fon nodded in her tears.

"And it's just not me- everyone else likes Soi Fon too and wants to play with her."

"Even aft'r I was so mean- to you too?"

"I'm sure if you say 'I'm sorry', they'll forgive you because they want to be friends with you too."

For a long time, Soi Fon just sniffled into Ichigo's shirt. The sun slowly came up, its bright rays warmly greeting the young children. Ichigo felt Soi Fon tug at his shirt. He looked down at the six-year old's wide gray eyes.

"M'sorry, I lied. I din't mean it when I said Ichi wasn't m'friend."

And the smile Ichigo gave then was so dazzling that could likely rival the sun's shining wakening.

"I'm glad."

They lay on the grass, and Soi Fon talked about everything she could with Ichigo, as it all came bursting out of the dam she had so carefully secured in herself. She told Ichigo much of what he had heard from the night before, but she also told him about her dreams. Her dream to travel all over the world just like Yoruichi, to be talented and intelligent like Yoruichi was, and her most important dream in life, which she promised him to secrecy on, was her dream to be adopted by Yoruichi someday.

Ichigo listened to everything, giving in his answers wherever necessary, but mainly he stayed quiet as Soi Fon told him of her suffering and insecurities, and he merely held the girl's hand tightly.

Like this, Ichigo forged a bond with another member of the Karakura Orphanage. Eventually, Soi Fon grew tired of talking and they silently watched the sunrise together and slowly dozed away to their dreamlands.

.

When Matsumoto had gotten up from bed, the first thing she noticed was a piercing headache. She moaned at her hangover. She looked to her side, where Unohana yawned and also sat up in the bed they had stumbled into after a drunken Matsumoto had clung to her.

"Retsuuu, huuurts," Matsumoto whined.

"Good morning to you too," Unohana spoke wryly. She felt Matsumoto's forehead to check her temperature just in case, to which Matsumoto moaned in pain again.

"Goodness, not even Ichigo whined so much with all his injuries," Unohana chided, "speaking of whom, I should probably go check in on him…"

"Nah, let him sleep in a bit today. I'm sure he could use it," Matsumoto waved a dismissive hand. "Besides that, I need your medical expert opinion to help me get my brain working again."

"Needy," Unohana smiled teasingly. "I think a cup of coffee will clear your mind. And while you're at it, you can warm some water for my tea."

"Ugh, I feel like you're manipulating me again," Matsumoto grumbled but complied as she walked towards the bedroom door.

"Whatever do you mean?" Unohana asked innocently.

As Matsumoto shook her head, she still heard Unohana's tinkling laughter follow her down the hallway.

Matsumoto, still clad in her sleeping robe and slippers, walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

She hummed a tune as she turned the coffee-maker on and put the kettle on the stove for her friend's tea.

Soon, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the room.

Komamura headed into the kitchen.

"Good morning."

"G'mornin'," Matsumoto replied blearily.

"You left your bottles all over the living room last night," he chastised, "I wish you'd stop drinking anyhow and ruining your liver."

Matsumoto groaned, "Trust me, I'm fully reflecting on never touching the stuff again."

"You always say that but end up finding a bottle or two the next day anyway."

Matsumoto laughed, but immediately groaned in pain again holding her head.

"Argh, I can't even laugh," she whined.

Komamura simply gave her a look that said 'tough'. She stuck her tongue out at him childishly as he turned to the cabinets to prepare breakfast.

He pulled out her mug, and filled it with the ready coffee and passed it to her grateful hands.

She held the cup with both hands and deeply inhaled it, already feeling her mind wake up and calm itself. She took a slow sip, and enjoyed how the warm liquid splashed down her throat. She let out a throaty sound of pleasure. She took another sip and glanced at the glorious day outside.

She immediately spat out her coffee with an obscenely loud cough, and thumped her fist at her chest to breathe.

Komamura looked up from the egg he was cracking, and lifted an eyebrow towards her ridiculous antics.

"Sajin," Matsumoto took a gulp of air, "please tell me it's my hangover seeing things…"

"But is that- Ichigo and Soi Fon _lying in the backyard_?"

Komamura's eyes shot to the backyard and he promptly dropped the spatula he was holding. Matsumoto slammed down her mug of coffee, and rushed through the door with Komamura running after her.

.

Matsumoto looked at the two children who she had been worried most about all of the last night, and felt her heart stop at seeing them lie unmoving on the cold ground.

"Ichigo! Soi Fon!"

She dropped to her knees.

"Ichigo! Soi Fon!" She shouted again hysterically, frantically shaking both of them.

"Mnn, Ms. Matsumoto?" Ichigo opened his eyes, wincing at the sunlight. Next to him, Soi Fon groaned in similar displeasure.

"Oh my goodness, what happened?" Unohana peeked out of the backyard door, and her eyes widened as she spotted the two children on the ground. She too all but flew outside and knelt next to the children.

Matsumoto was crying and garbling something as she tightly held both Ichigo and Soi Fon close to her chest.

"Rangiku, It's okay, let them go," Unohana tried gently.

Matsumoto shook her head with a glare, tears still on her cheeks and spilling from her eyes.

"It's okay Ms. Matsumoto, we're okay," Ichigo spoke, his voice muffled by Matsumoto's hold.

"He's right Rangiku, wer' fine," Soi Fon spoke softly.

Komamura slowly extracted the two children from Matsumoto's clutch. They watched as Unohana took out a tissue from the folds of her clothes and wiped Matsumoto's face. Ichigo and Soi Fon looked guilty in making the woman cry. They looked at each other before Ichigo spoke.

"Don't cry Ms. Matsumoto, and see," Ichigo held Soi Fon's hand, "we're friends now, friends."

"Yesh," Soi Fon spoke, catching on to what Ichigo was doing, "wer' frien's. Best frien's. An' we wer' playin' togeth'r."

Matsumoto still looked to be on the verge of tears but she smiled, and this time she embraced both Ichigo and Soi Fon with less force than before.

"You two are friends? Best friends?"

At both Ichigo and Soi Fon's honest nods, she laughed a bit.

"That's good to hear. It makes me happy," and she looked at Soi Fon, "and it makes me proud."

"Sorry for worrying you, Ms. Matsumoto," Ichigo spoke guiltily.

"Its fine, but you are still going to be punished for sleeping outside," Matsumoto pulled back looking disapprovingly at the two children, "today, both of you have to help out Mr. Komamura with all his housework, are we clear?"

Soi Fon looked horrified, but Ichigo only smiled. They both replied with a 'yes'.

Holding one of each child's hands, Matsumoto stood up and led the way back into the house.

"And she says that she's not an adult," Unohana sighed fondly. "She's strong and doesn't even know it."

"It's one of her better traits," Komamura admitted. Unohana made a humming noise in her throat.

"Though I have to wonder just how exactly Ichigo managed to befriend Soi Fon, even after everything," Unohana wondered aloud.

"I'm not surprised, after all, that boy is a carbon copy of Kaien," Komamura replied. "He's been brought up by the best."

"You don't blame him like Yoruichi," Unohana observed. Komamura shook his head.

"Of course not- how could I ever hate Kaien's child?"

.

When everyone else came down for breakfast that day, they had not expected to see Ichigo and Soi Fon chatting happily together.

The children stared in shock at Soi Fon who seemed to smile and laugh more often than they were used to seeing, and Ichigo who had completely seemed to have forgotten the fact that the girl had cruelly beaten him just the last day.

"Ehh, din't the book say the moon was made outta cheese?" Soi Fon had been saying.

"That's only in your picture book- usually those don't have their facts down," Ichigo replied.

Tōshirō was the first to move, and took a seat next to Ichigo.

"The moon is actually a big rock in the sky," the white-haired boy said, effortlessly joining in on the conversation, "but from far away, its craters look like holes and it looks like swiss cheese."

"Cra-Craters?" Soi Fon frowned at the word.

"Yeah, uhmm, they're kind of like deep marks on the moon left by asteroids and debris."

Soi Fon looked to Tōshirō with an obvious question in her eyes, and Tōshirō went on to explain what exactly asteroids and debris were. Ichigo smiled as it was the first time since coming to the orphanage that he saw Soi Fon hold a conversation with anyone aside from Rukia and Matsumoto.

Below the table, Tōshirō took a hold of Ichigo's hand as he talked to Soi Fon. He squeezed it gently in concern. Surprised at first, but already used to Tōshirō's somewhat protectiveness of him, Ichigo squeezed back. Content, Tōshirō let his hold slacken but still unconsciously let his hand lay on Ichigo's, the latter not minding at all.

Ichigo vaguely noted that Tōshirō's hands were often cold, but in the summer's scorching heat, Ichigo found that he quite enjoyed Tōshirō's uniquely chilled self.

"Nu fair!" Rukia entered the kitchen. "I wanna talk with Soi and Ichi and Snowy too!"

The children had somehow grown accustomed to calling Ichigo by a shortened form of his name just days earlier, and Ichigo couldn't be happier. He felt that by being given a nickname like everyone else had, he was finally being accepted. Thus he didn't mind as Rukia asked 'Ichi' to finish her omelettes again today as well, to what Byakuya came up behind her and bopped her on the head in clear veto of his sister's request.

Renji laughed at Rukia's pout as he walked in, "What's got th' big baby mad today?"

"M'not a baby!" Rukia glared.

"Who's a baby?" The twins sang as they skipped into the kitchen.

"Ru is," Renji pointed with his spoon.

"Am'not!"

Matsumoto walked in, no longer dressed in her robe and slippers like she had been when she had rushed outside to Ichigo and Soi Fon. She looked more awake now but still seemed exhausted, while Unohana followed her looking amused.

Komamura set down plates of scrambled eggs in front of the two women, and they thanked him as they started eating.

"Good morning everyone," Matsumoto greeted while rubbing her eyes, and everyone returned the greeting happily. "What are we talking about today?"

"How Ru's a big baby," Renji spoke with glee through his breakfast.

"Am'not!" Rukia replied again in denial, her mouth full of toast.

Matsumoto dropped the spoonful of eggs she had been just about to eat.

"Baby… Yachiru! I forgot to bring down Yachiru!"

Matsumoto ran off from the table.

"Don't worry about her; she's just tired today," Unohana reassured the children who stared after their running supervisor, "please don't give her trouble today."

The children all responded with a 'we won't', and Ichigo and Soi Fon regarded each other sheepish looks.

Matsumoto returned downstairs shortly with Yachiru in her arms, followed by Kenpachi.

"It's okay, I look'd aft'r her!" Kenpachi stated proudly.

"Good work, Kenpachi. Now, find a place to sit and eat," Matsumoto spoke as she put Yachiru in her baby seat.

They ate in peace, and looking at the clock on the kitchen wall, Unohana stood.

"I have to get back to the clinic now," Unohana smiled at the children, "but I'll see you all later."

She looked at Ichigo directly, and Ichigo felt Tōshirō's hold on his hand tighten a bit.

"And Ichigo, remember what I told you. If there's anything you need, you can call me."

Ichigo nodded, "Yes Dr. Unohana, thank you for everything so far."

"Can you with me for a minute now? I'll just check how your injuries are before I head out."

Ichigo immediately tried to stand, but was kept in place by Soi Fon's watery stare filled with unmistakable guilt and Tōshirō's hand still holding on to him.

Unohana watched him curiously as Ichigo smiled at Soi Fon.

"I'll be fine, and I'll be back before you know it."

Soi Fon looked unsure; Ichigo sighed and leaned over to lightly peck the girl's cheek with still smiling lips.

At this, everyone except for a select few let out a sound of surprise, while Matsumoto was grinning and going from making a triangle to a square with her hands.

Soi Fon had turned pink, and shoved at Ichigo without any real force.

"Gross," she muttered softly and attempted a half-glare, her cheeks still glowing a rosy colour.

Ichigo shook his head, and then to everyone's greater shock, he leaned down to Tōshirō and softly kissed his cheek.

Everyone gasped again, while Matsumoto was attempting to make a pentagon with her fingers but seemed to be failing in her laughter.

Watching the tanned boy blush similarly to Soi Fon, Ichigo laughed a bit and slowly took his hand back after giving Tōshirō's one last comforting squeeze.

"I'll be right back, so stop worrying would you?"

"M'not worryin'," Tōshirō immediately denied but turned from pink to a shade of red, and Ichigo gave him a look of disbelief.

"Ru too! Ru too!" Rukia started wailing, while Byakuya tried to hush her. Ichigo sighed lightly, and kissed the six-year old on the nose making Rukia giggle.

"Now to bwother!"

Byakuya looked like he would rather be stuck back in the closet again than be kissed, as he immediately flinched and leaned away from Ichigo. Ichigo grinned wickedly, and reached for one of Byakuya's long locks of hair and brought it to his lips, his eyes twinkling at Byakuya's stunned look.

"Us too! Us too!" The twins cheered as if it had been a game and they wanted part in it.

"And then to Ren and Ken!" Rukia spoke with utmost generosity. "And don't forg't Yachiwu! An' Rangiku n' Retsu!"

Renji and Kenpachi both looked ready to run if Ichigo really came for them, and Yachiru gurgled happily at the commotion.

Matsumoto was trying to make a hexagon, and then a decagon out of her hands but gave up, and Unohana laughed merrily in her hand along with her friend.

Truly, Unohana thought, this boy was an exact copy of Kaien.

She watched as Ichigo chased Renji and Kenpachi in laughter out to the backyard, and the rest of the children hopped out of their chairs to join the spectacle.

Outgoing, fearless, and loving, they were all characteristics Unohana had known in her senior by a year. She realized why Komamura couldn't come to hate Ichigo for the past, because looking at Ichigo was like looking at Kaien. They bore a striking resemblance in both personality and looks, to a degree that was almost startling.

Komamura sighed before he left the kitchen and entered the backyard to settle the children down. Matsumoto was still shaking in mirth as she followed.

Unohana, now alone at the kitchen table with baby Yachiru, watched out of the window as the children, commandeered by Ichigo, tackled Renji and Kenpachi to the grass. Yachiru gurgled happily in the background, as she mashed her food with her spoon. Unohana gave a smile to the Yachiru, but continued to ponder about Ichigo.

Yes, they were exactly alike, and that must have been why her friend Yoruichi Shihōin had been so hurt as well; to have an image of Kaien right in front of her, but never to see the actual person again must have been heartbreaking.

Unohana sighed and leaned her head on her palm, as she sincerely hoped that Ichigo would not follow the same footsteps Kaien had, or else Ichigo would be drowned with regrets, and like Kaien, he would end up forsaking everything he cherished for a temporary and illusory future.


	7. Unexpected

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **In this chapter, we learn a bit more about the past. As I've said, slowly but surely, everything will be explained. Again, I _love_ writing the general slice-of-life/general interactions between the children. Exams are in session, so the next update may be late; you have my sincerest apologies in advance. As always, feedback/comments are appreciated. Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

"Ran-gi-kuuu!"

A younger Rangiku turned around, the bouncy ringlets in her hair moving on their own as she did. School had just let out for the day, and Rangiku had been heading to her part-time job. She smiled at the voice of her best friend happily calling out to her, and she responded.

"Masaki!"

"Help me Ran, I didn't do my math homework for tomorrow," Masaki groaned, heaving her backpack over her shoulder. Rangiku looked at her oddly, as the two girls walked together.

"We had a week to do it, Masaki! Even _I_ finished it, and you know how I have a horrible track record with homework."

"Well, me and homework have an on and off relationship, and it is sooo off right now," Masaki sighed, blowing at her bangs with a childish huff.

"It's 'homework and I' Masaki," a new voice chimed in.

"Nah, for Masaki it's 'what homework?' haha!" Another voice spoke playfully.

"Retsu! Yoruichi! Please tell me that one of you will let me copy your history homework!" Masaki begged dramatically to her friends.

"You didn't do history either?" Rangiku clicked her tongue. "What were you doing last night?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Retsu teased. "She was probably watching her weird police dramas as usual."

"In specific, the one with a dreamy detective," Yoruichi waggled her eyebrows.

"H-Hey! It was getting to a good part!" Masaki protested. "Detective Takeru was just in the criminal's hotel room looking for evidence when the criminal himself walks in, and Takeru was all like 'May I help you, Sir?' and he was so good at acting that the criminal apologized and thought he walked into the wrong room!"

"Argh, once she starts she doesn't know when to stop," Rangiku moaned as she covered her ears at Masaki's shrill fangirling. Retsu just nodded politely while Yoruichi looked overly amused.

"Just you wait and see, girls! I'm going to join the force and catch bad guys just like detective Takeru's partner, officer Lydia, who's actually a foreign Russian spy but she's sooo good at catching criminals who come after Takeru! It's a pure love!"

"So you'd like to be a Russian spy?" Retsu joked, and Rangiku shot her a look which clearly said 'don't bother with her'. Of course, Retsu's question caused Masaki to go into a detailed lecture on the 'awesome epicness' of female Russian spies and the like.

"Argh, I can't take this anymore- come here you!" Rangiku chased Masaki, who screamed with delight.

"Nooo, Ran! Forgive me-"

Masaki crashed into a tall boy.

"Masaki!" Her friends called in concern.

"Oww, I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

Just then, Masaki got a good look at the boy who she had bumped into. He had spiky black hair and warm aqua-green eyes.

"Its fine," the boy grunted, but froze with shock when Masaki's tentative fingers traced his face lightly. Rangiku, Retsu and Yoruichi watched with their mouths open.

"Detective… Takeru?"

Rangiku immediately strode forward to pull Masaki back. She whacked the back of Masaki's head lightly.

"You idiot! How does he look anything like that detective from your show?!"

"He does," Masaki insisted stubbornly, "he looks like Takeru!"

Retsu shook her head, gently patting Masaki on the cheek in reprimand and began telling her not to go touching strangers randomly.

Yoruichi had been staring at the boy wordlessly, with an unnoticeable flush on her face.

The boy gave a hearty laugh, "You watch Detective Takeru?"

Rangiku and Retsu gave him a look that plainly implied that he had no idea what he had started, as Masaki gave a girlish shriek.

"Like, oh my gosh! I love Takeru!"

"Did you watch yesterday's episode-"

"-Where Takeru's in the hotel room-"

"-And he goes-"

"-'May I help you, sir?'" Both Masaki and the boy finished in unison. They looked at each other with unhidden interest, and laughed together.

"I'm Kaien Shiba," the boy introduced with a toothy grin.

"I'm Masaki Kurosaki," Masaki smiled, "and these are my friends- Rangiku Matsumoto, Retsu Unohana and Yoruichi Shihōin."

"Nice to meet you all," the boy nodded, "do you want to go grab a coffee at the cafe across the mall? It's rare that I ever find a Takeru fan."

"I'd love to- I mean, we'd love to!" Masaki turned to her friends. Rangiku shook her head at once, and took Retsu's and Yoruichi's hands.

"Nope, we girls have our own afterschool plans! You'll have to go by yourself, 'Saki!"

Rangiku leaned into Masaki's ear and whispered, "Date, date!"

Masaki all but squawked and blushed brightly.

"That isn't-"

Rangiku winked, and dragged away the other two girls with her.

"Remember to finish your homework for tomorrow!" Rangiku called over her shoulder, as she and the other girls walked around a corner.

Masaki made a face at her friend's reminder.

"Looks like it's just you and me then," Kaien smiled at Masaki, "if that's okay with you?"

Masaki blushed even brighter, her voice was no longer brash and instead, it was a bit timid.

"Yes, I'd love to…"

.

Matsumoto awoke with a gasp.

She breathed heavily at the dream. It had felt so real, as if it had happened just yesterday. She clenched at her blankets, and let her legs dangle onto the cold floor. She wrapped her robe around her, and went to her window, looking up at the sky where the moon hung amongst countless stars.

"If only I hadn't pushed you together with him. If only I had taken you out of there as fast as I could, I could've spared you so much pain and misery…"

She opened her windows open, and sighed gently into the night.

"But at the same time, I don't really wish for that either, because you two brought little Ichigo into the world..."

Matsumoto felt a sudden sorrow well up in the back of her throat.

"Masaki, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I promise to protect Ichigo in your stead. I promise."

She turned back to return to her bed.

Behind her, the curtains next to the open window swayed as if Masaki had answered to Matsumoto's moonlit repentance.

.

The next day, the children gathered at breakfast excitedly.

The previous day Matsumoto had announced that this was the day where they would all go to the Zoo together, much to everyone's glee.

"Ru is gonna see the fishies! Wha' abou' you, Soi?"

"Hmm," Soi Fon thought about it, "I wanna see a dragon."

"D-Dragon? Ther's thos' at the Zoo?" Rukia whimpered to Byakuya's side, and the boy glared at Soi Fon for imparting useless information to his sister again.

"There aren't any dragons at the Zoo, Ru," Tōshirō set aside her fears, "in fact, they don't ev'n exist."

"Do too!" Soi Fon gave a fiery glare.

"Do not!" Tōshirō replied with an icy look of his own.

"I saws one befor'!" Soi Fon harrumphed, while Tōshirō sputtered at the impossibility.

Ichigo smiled at the scene. Soi Fon had developed some sort of rivalry with Tōshirō, but they had become friends. He had seen Tōshirō reading out loud to Soi Fon many times, because the girl still had trouble reading many words put together.

After their morning of reconciliation, true to her word, Soi Fon had apologized to the other children for her behaviour towards them and Ichigo. The children were good-natured and not ones to hold grudges, and so they had quickly forgiven her.

Of course, Soi Fon would still come to Ichigo and spend time with him, but now she also spoke with Renji, who shared her passion for sports and the two raced against each other all the time. She still didn't get along with Byakuya who seemed to disapprove of her influence over Rukia, but the two were civil to one another. The twins had come to admire how she bested Renji at nearly every sport, and would be her own cheering squad when she and Renji competed against one another. Kenpachi, who wasn't particularly close to anyone except for Yachiru and Ichigo, treated her normally as he treated everyone else, but without any of his previous hostility that had formed when he had first seen the bruises she had given to Ichigo.

Ichigo suddenly felt Tōshirō unconsciously search out for his hand. Being as unnoticed as possible, Ichigo reached for the younger boy's smaller hand and slowly linked their fingers together.

Whenever they ate, it had become customary for Ichigo and Tōshirō to hold hands under the table, and Ichigo wondered if the habit was caused by something in Tōshirō's past, as Tōshirō reached for him often- even at night or randomly as they played in the day.

Yet whenever Ichigo would try to ask Tōshirō about his life outside of the orphanage, the white-haired boy would immediately change the subject.

Not wanting to push, Ichigo had dropped his probing at seeing Tōshirō's clear evasion. He decided that Tōshirō had every right to hide his past since Ichigo hadn't shared his past with anyone else either, or at least what he remembered of it. He decided that if Tōshirō wanted to tell him, he would be ready to listen but otherwise he wouldn't force anything out of the boy.

But he did wonder sometimes as no matter how hot the weather became, Tōshirō's hands remained freezing cold. At times, he worried about it and hoped that Tōshirō was alright.

He suddenly squeezed Tōshirō's hand gently, making Tōshirō falter in his discussion with Soi Fon on the existence of flying mystical lizard creatures. He glanced at Ichigo from the corner of his turquoise eyes with a clear question.

Ichigo just softly smiled.

Tōshirō looked at him with a partly open mouth before something must've clicked, as he turned a light shade of red and closed his mouth. He gripped Ichigo's hand back shyly, and he quickly looked back at Soi Fon to counter whatever she had said with some sort of scientific or mathematical fact.

From the other side of the table, Ichigo met Kenpachi's knowing grin.

"I wanna see a kangawoo," he said all of a sudden, "you knows how mothewr kangawoos holds them babies all safe-like in pouchies? I wanna see tha' in rweal life."

Ichigo realized Kenpachi was glancing at him, under the table and to Tōshirō, all in that order, and Ichigo sighed as he knew that he was being teased.

"Well Ken, I'd love to see the lions. I hear they feed them live deer at lunchtime," Ichigo shot back, to which Kenpachi grinned even wider and raised his eyebrows.

"Is tha' true?" Renji looked appalled, but deeply interested.

The twins tried to copy Renji's face of disgust, but giggled as they failed.

"We're gonna see the polaw beawrs!" Kiyone spoke loudly and happily.

"Nuh-uh, we're gonna see the panda beawrs" Sentarō refused, and everyone groaned as they knew what was coming.

"Ar'nt!"

"Ar'too!"

"Ar'nt!"

"Why no' both?" Rukia muttered as she mashed her omelette with her fork. The twins looked at her as they'd seen the birth of a genius.

"You children should make a list of the animals you want to see, so you don't regret missing out on any," Komamura remarked, as he put out fresh toast on the table.

Partially because most of them were scared silly of Komamura, and partially because it was a good idea, they agreed. The idea of a list being drawn up was quickly relegated to Ichigo.

"Why doesn't Byakuya do it? His handwriting his better than mine," Ichigo grumbled.

For a half of a split second, Byakuya gave him a positively innocent look.

"But Ichigo, you're _twelve _and _older_."

And apparently Byakuya's point was deemed as the most correct truth in the world by the younger children, and the oldest boy was immediately given the responsibility. He muttered under his breath about Byakuya playing dirty, who merely gave another momentary look of purity and perfection.

"Alright, we've got the fish exhibit, the reptile exhibit, the lions, the polar bears, the panda bears, and Renji wanted to see the gorillas and monkeys," Ichigo read off the list.

Renji nodded in approval.

"You fergot the kangawoos, Ichi," and Kenpachi grinned in victory as Ichigo wrote down 'Kangaroos' with an annoyed look.

"Any animal you'd like to see, Tōshirō?" Ichigo turned his head to the boy.

"Ah, the…" Tōshirō mumbled the last part.

"The what?"

"The petting zoo," Tōshirō scowled while blushing. "They have a petting zoo part there too, and I want to see how the texture of animal skins is differ'nt from pet to pet."

Rukia, Soi Fon, and the twins all cheered and praised Tōshirō for his excellent idea.

"Sure tha' you jus' don' wanna pet 'em?" Renji laughed, to which Tōshirō huffed.

"That's fine," Ichigo wrote it down. "And Byakuya, what kinds of animals do you want to see?"

Byakuya jolted a bit, not in the least expecting to be asked the question. He realized that he was still a kid, but he had never really been treated as such before. He felt bashful but also warm at Ichigo asking him for his opinion.

"… The seals."

"Alright then, we'll head over to the seal exhibit too."

"Yachiwu wans' to see an elley-phn't!" Kenpachi piped up, but Yachiru looked uninterested in whatever they were saying and was paying more attention to a pea that rolled around in her bowl.

Ichigo added in elephants nonetheless.

He picked up his list and looked at it, reading off the names of the animals he had written and everyone nodded in assent as he asked them if they were okay with it.

"Right, then we'll get this list to Ms. Matsumoto for safe-keeping and-"

The phone rang loudly.

"Ring ring ring!" The twins imitated.

Matsumoto came into the kitchen, and picked up the cordless phone on the counter. She signalled the children to be quiet before pressing the 'talk' button.

"Karakura Orphanage, Supervisor Matsumoto speaking. How can I help you?"

They quietly watched her listen to the voice on the phone, and saw her growing pale.

"Y-Yes, yes, he's here," she turned her head to the children.

The children looked at her curiously.

"No, that's not necessary- I'll bring him myself. I know the address. It has to be today, right? Alright, we'll be there around three o' clock."

With a couple more words, Matsumoto hung up the phone and let the cordless phone make a small beeping sound as it began charging on the phone dock.

She turned to the children gravely, and somehow the children knew that they wouldn't be going to the Zoo today after all.

She looked at Renji with emotion in her eyes.

"Renji, it's your grandfather. He's gotten very sick since last night- and he wishes that you fulfill his last request... that you come see him one last time."

Renji didn't cry or express any feelings on his face. He had barely reacted until he finally sighed and muttered.

"Guess I gotta go wheth'r I wanna o'not, huh?"

He stood from the table and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Matsumoto asked as she craned her neck watching Renji climb the stairs to the upper level.

"Gotta get ready to pu' the ol' man in the dirt, righ'?"

They listened to Renji's footsteps climb up in an awkward silence, only broken by Yachiru's unaware and cheerful babbling.

"I'm sorry guys," Matsumoto apologized to the other children, "I guess we won't be going to the Zoo today."

"It's alright Ms. Matsumoto," Ichigo immediately replied, "we'll go some other day."

Matsumoto looked at him gratefully, before picking up Yachiru.

"I'm going to put Yachiru down for a nap, and then I'll take Renji to his grandpa's place. While I'm gone, Mr. Komamura is in charge, alright?"

Everyone answered with a yes. As they heard Matsumoto's steps fade away upstairs, Komamura sent them out of the kitchen to get some fresh air in the backyard.

.

They sat dejectedly in the grass, and Soi Fon looked at the soccer ball longingly.

"Thish stinks," she muttered, "I can't ev'n play withou' Ren."

"I can play with you, if you'd like," Ichigo offered.

"S'not the same," she murmured, and as if she realized something, she quickly gave Ichigo an apologetic look.

"No, it's fine, I understand," Ichigo waved off her expression.

Everyone was quiet as they slumped onto the grass, until Rukia spoke.

"S'not fair, I wanna go to th' Zoo."

"Rukia, be more thoughtful," Byakuya scolded, but Rukia rebelliously continued her unhappy tirade.

"Now Ru can't see th' fishies or the lionies or dragonies," Rukia miserably pulled at the grass.

"Kiyo want'd to sees the polaw beawrs," Kiyone added in the same gloomy tone, Rukia's sadness sparking all of them to mourn their lost trip.

"And the panda beawrs," Sentarō lamented.

"An' the kangawoos an' the lions eatin' live deer," Kenpachi sighed grimly.

"I was kidding about that, Ken," Ichigo replied pointedly and without remorse at his joke.

Kenpachi shrugged indifferently and played with the strings of his eyepatch.

The children seemed unenergetic and no one bothered doing anything but wallow in disappointment.

"Don't be sad guys," Ichigo tried, "just think about how sad Renji is. Remember how his grandfather is sick?"

"He din't _look_ sad," Soi Fon answered.

"But," Tōshirō spoke up for the first time in the backyard, "Ren is always good at pretendin' to be okay when he isn't." Tōshirō looked down at his own hands with a solemn look. "I can und'rstand how he feels."

"I've never seen Ren cry before," Byakuya affirmed. "He's always laughing or having fun whenever I see him."

"That's 'cause he's escapin' from it all," Tōshirō replied. "He doesn't wanna see it, so he doesn't."

The other younger children, except for Kenpachi, looked confused at the sudden turn in the conversation. To them, Renji was Renji whether he was crying or laughing.

Ichigo felt pity for the redheaded boy, but also felt a bizarre sense of empathy. Suddenly, he felt Kenpachi's eye on him, as if observing him.

"Escapin'," Kenpachi repeated, watching Ichigo who returned his stare with a confused look.

"In any case," Byakuya spoke, not noticing the interaction between Kenpachi and Ichigo, "maybe one of us should go with him."

"Ar' you nuts? Thas' his busin'ss," Kenpachi suddenly replied. "Wha' makes you thinks tha' he wants any o' us ther'?"

"I don't know, but what if he does?" Byakuya responded, turning the question back on the other boy.

"Then, who shou' go wit'him?"

No one answered Kenpachi, and everyone looked uncomfortable as if hoping to be rescued from the situation.

"I'll go," Ichigo volunteered after a few seconds of silence. He stood up from the grass.

They all look relieved and looked with Ichigo with something akin to admiration. Ichigo felt a hesitant tug at his sleeve, and he looked down to Tōshirō's lengthening white hair which fell into the younger boy's large eyes filled with worry.

"Ar' you sure?"

Ichigo let his hand run through Tōshirō's soft hair soothingly; not caring for the knowing look Kenpachi shot him. The white-haired boy relaxed at the touch.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Ichigo looked at Byakuya with a small grin, "After all, I'm twelve and older, aren't I?"

Byakuya gave him one of his rare smiles, an expression which Rukia watched with awe. Still smiling, Byakuya stood as well and gave a pat on Ichigo's shoulder.

"We'll be counting on you, then."

Kenpachi stood as well and gave his usual one-eyed grin, "Don' mess up, Ichi."

The other children rose and wished their elder friend luck as well.

"Don' make us wai' too long! We wanna go to the Zoo togeth'r with Ren!" Rukia gave her parting words, which everyone nodded to.

"Don't worry Rukia, we'll be back before you know it," Ichigo replied to her heartfelt request.

With one last look of reassurance at the younger children, Ichigo headed back into the house.

.

Komamura was washing dishes at the sink, and he looked up at Ichigo as he came inside.

"I thought I told you to get some fresh air?"

"Sorry Sa-Ko, but I can't leave Renji on his own," Ichigo shuffled his feet, and looked up with determination, "I want to go with him, Sa-Ko."

Komamura opened his mouth and closed it. He sighed.

"You're every bit like Kaien."

Ichigo froze at the name. The name had been thrown around, used to hurt him, used in whispered conversations between Matsumoto and Unohana, and seemed to have a definite connection with him, but it seemed like he was the only one who didn't know about it.

"Who is Kaien, Sa-Ko?"

For a long moment, Komamura looked at the boy.

"He is..." Komamura began, and Ichigo held his breath.

But Komamura slowly shook his head.

"Not yet, Ichigo. Not yet."

Ichigo grew frustrated, "But why not? Why am I not allowed to know?"

Komamura looked at the boy with sadness in his eyes.

"Because you're not ready, little one," was his final verdict, as he turned back to the dishes he was washing. Ichigo's curiosity had been piqued, but somehow he felt it was more than that, as if a deep nagging feeling was clawing inside him, persuading him to _know_- to _remember_.

"When will I be ready? Why are you hiding it from me?"

"Go and inform supervisor Matsumoto that you will accompany her. She will be leaving with Renji soon," Komamura said without facing Ichigo.

With an agitated growl, Ichigo stalked out of the kitchen.

Komamura gave a sigh.

Yes, the boy was exactly like Kaien. Strong, confident, and kind, but also deeply flawed like Kaien had been, and that was what Komamura feared. He feared that Ichigo may be forced into a self-fulfilling prophecy if he learned about what kind of man Kaien had been, and that he might end up going astray as Kaien had- a stray path that had led to the older man's tragedy.

He put down his kitchen towel, and looked out to the backyard where the tired children looked even more lifeless without Ichigo. He decided to he would turn on the sprinklers where the children lay- the grass _had_ been looking dry as of late...

The shrieks of joy from the children were only an added bonus to the green shining grass, he decided.


	8. Support

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Contrary to how things are going, I really don't hate my characters- I would honestly like to see them all happy but the story keeps writing itself in this way. Don't worry, it will get better! Exams are keeping me busy, but I'll try to update as soon as I can. Thank you for all of your feedback, it is very appreciated, and if you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

The car ride was silent.

Ichigo could feel Matsumoto glance at him and Renji from her rearview mirror from time to time in worry. He had tried several times to talk to Renji, but the boy merely shrugged or made non-commital noises.

Ichigo wondered if he had made a mistake in coming along with Renji, who looked like he wanted to be left alone, but it was too late to back out now.

They had been driving for the past two hours, and Ichigo had watched the scenery turn from residential houses, to skyscrapers, and then to the current rolling hills of the countryside.

They had only stopped once, which was at a gas station, where Matsumoto had gotten both boys ice-cream and a hot coffee for herself. Once the boys had finished their treats, they were back on the road.

Ichigo hadn't pushed Renji to talk, instead started an 'I spy' game, where he would spy colours and Renji would have to guess just what he was looking at. There weren't many colours in the car, so the game ended abruptly leaving the boys to a fading idle chatter.

"M'Gramps lives on'a farm," Renji spoke up suddenly. Ichigo looked up at him from his drowsy daze. "I used'ta live with him n' Gran way back."

"It seems like a nice place to live," Ichigo replied cautiously.

"It is," Renji fell back onto a small nostalgic smile, "the roosta' gets ya up in the mornins', y'know?"

"There were animals on the farm?"

"Oh yeah, a lotta 'em! I luv'd th' sheep and how fluffy they wer', and th' cows moo while ya get milk fr'm 'em. Th' chick'ns always ran aroun' leavin' eggs ev'rywher'."

"It sounds like fun," Ichigo spoke genuinely.

"It was. I'd nev'r want'd to leave," Renji's voice hardened, "bu' I had ta."

Ichigo didn't speak and he patiently waited for Renji to explain himself, but the red-haired boy had fallen silent again, as if delving through old memories brought up by the place.

Matsumoto cleared her throat.

"Renji, is that it?" She cocked her head at a large yellow brick house which stretched right up to a field of sunflowers. There was green ivy that grew embracing the windows, and it reached upwards to the sunlit sky. Upon the chimney on the roof sat an inquisitive sparrow, chirping happily. It looked pleasant, and faint sounds of animals scurrying about could be heard in the blowing wind.

"Thas' right," Renji spoke quietly, with a softness in his voice, "the sunflow'rs ar' all up now, aren' they?"

Matsumoto rolled to a stop. Renji opened his door, and looked shaken as he took a step onto the ground he had so very long ago called home.

Ichigo noticed the other boy's pause and slid out of the car. He gave Renji's shoulder a squeeze.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Renji?" It was Matsumoto who had spoken then. "We can always go back if you want."

"No," Renji replied, "you'll be in trouble if I don' go."

He took a deep breath, and strode to the door of the house. Matsumoto put a hand on Ichigo's arm before he could follow.

"Ichigo, I'll take care of the adults but I can only count on you to take care of Renji. I'll be there too, but he'll need a friend's support."

Ichigo nodded.

"I know Ms. Matsumoto, that's why I'm here- I won't let Renji face this alone."

Matsumoto gave him a surprised look at Ichigo's resolve, but then smiled. She gave him a light push towards Renji.

"Go on, then."

Ichigo quickly followed Renji, as Matsumoto walked behind them, calling the Karakura Orphanage on her cell phone to make sure everything was alright.

.

Renji opened the house's door without knocking. Inside, many people looked up at him. They were all dressed in black and stared at the redhead who passed them without a word.

Ichigo, a bit surprised by the state of things in the house, continued to follow Renji who effortlessly weaved through the people. He could hear Matsumoto talk with someone behind them, introducing herself and explaining that they had been called by the Abarai family head.

Ichigo could hear whispers of the adults around him, as they openly stared at Renji.

"_Isn't that-"_

"_-the illegitimate child-"_

"_-that red hair of his mother-"_

"_-the woman who worked as a prostitute-"_

"_-to get her hands on the Abarai heir-"_

"_-that child now-"_

"_-what is he doing here?"_

Ichigo saw Renji struggle to ignore the whispers.

He turned to a group of gossiping ladies who had been particularly loud.

Renji saw Ichigo face the other way, and whispered, "Ichigo, don'-"

"Excuse me," Ichigo started with a sweet smile, "I'm Renji's friend. And I wanted to make a small request- would you please not talk badly of him? I would really appreciate it. I know you won't disappoint me, after all you're all such lovely ladies."

The women looked shocked, but Ichigo was charming and polite and so they had little choice to nod wordlessly. Ichigo gave them a toothy grin then, and took the nearest woman's hand to kiss it on the palm and she blushed at him. By the time he had stridden out of the room, all the women had a strong urge to pinch Ichigo's cheek.

"Ichigo," Renji spoke dryly. Ichigo shrugged, and continued following Renji.

"_Who was that adorable child?"_

A woman whispered, quite audibly from behind them. Renji scoffed at that in partial laughter, while Ichigo absolutely preened and looked pleased that he had cheered Renji up a bit.

As soon as they had left the people downstairs and were climbing a thankfully empty staircase, Renji spoke up.

"Ador'ble they calls ya," Renji rolled his eyes and snorted in amusement. "Can't wait for th' others to hear abou' that one."

"Well I think _everyone_ should know how adorable I am," Ichigo spoke quite seriously but the effect was ruined by his giggles.

"But thanks for standin' up for me," Renji looked over his shoulder with an honest look.

"Anytime," Ichigo smiled back.

"But wha' was all tha' stuff you wer' doin'?"

"I read a lot- that includes a fair share of Byakuya's romance novels that he lends me too," Ichigo shrugged.

"Bya reads _what_?"

"Never mind," Ichigo hurriedly changed the subject, "where are we going? And who were all those people down there?"

"Wer' goin' ta Gramps's room," Renji pointed to the one at the very end. "An' thos' people are vultur's. I learn'd the word fr'm Gramps. They jus' wan' Gramps to choke so they can take whateva' they can."

"Random people want your grandfather's things?"

"Nah, they'r family, bu' no' close family. They nev'r cared abou' Gramps befor', just care whe' he falls sick."

"Your grandfather's been sick before?"

"He's always sick," Renji leaned against a wall, "bu' som'times he gets worse, and whe' the doc says he's abou' to kick the buck't all these people come rushin' in. We've had a coupl' o' false alarms befor' too."

"But this time he called for you..."

"Yeah," Renji sighed, "I hope this is th' las' time I walk in in this house."

"But I thought you loved this place," Ichigo looked at him confusedly.

"I does- I always will," Renji spoke clearly, "bu' I can't stay, 'cause Gramps was th' one who kick'd me out and telled me to nev'r com' back."

Ichigo was startled at this revelation.

"Ichi, you don' hav' to stay with me; this is m'problem, not yours," Renji took a step back. Ichigo took a step forward.

"There is no way that I'm leaving you now," Ichigo spoke determinedly, "I can't do anything, but I can at least be by your side."

Renji gave a weak smile.

"Hah, now I kno' how you ev'n made friens' with Ken and Soi. It's jus' like Snowy said- yer special, Ichi."

With those words said, Renji took a deep breath and took long confident steps to his grandfather's room, with Ichigo right behind him.

.

Renji knocked once, the noise echoing in the hallway. The door was opened by an older woman with her facial features strongly defined by her make-up.

"You? What are you doing here?" The woman spoke with a shrill voice and pointed at Renji.

"Is that... Renji...?" A rasping voice called from the bed.

"Yeah, it's me Gramps. You want'd ta see me?"

"Dad, did you call for him to come here?" The woman spoke furiously at the aged man lying on the bed.

"Renji, my boy..." The rasping man sat up.

"Dad, stop getting up! You'll sprain something!"

"Leave..." The old man pointed to the woman.

"What? You can't be serious! I'm your daughter!"

"Leave!" The wrinkled man said with surprising force.

Without another word, she spun around and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Renji..." The man said again.

"M'here," Renji spoke, walking across the room to the man. Ichigo stood by the door to allow Renji some privacy.

"I'm sorry m'boy, I'm sorry," the old man suddenly cried as he reached for the redhead. The seven-year old grasped the man's hand.

"I kno', Gramps."

"No, you don't... I have always regretted... sending you away... you were one of the best things in my life," the man continued to weep.

Renji said nothing, but bowed his head.

"I jus' wanna kno' why, Gramps," Renji was also crying now, "I luv'd you and Gran, so why did you sen' me away? Why?"

"Because I was foolish... I loved my son... but I disapproved of your mother who my son had chosen as his lover... I married off your father to a woman he had no love for... and he retaliated by running away with your mother... and having you born..."

He heaved a shuddering breath.

"It was only when... I heard that both of them had committed a lover's suicide... and left you behind... I both loved you and hated you... the product of that woman, your mother who I hated, and my son, who I so dearly loved..."

"I let you stay with us... and your grandmother always loved you... but when she also died because of a heart attack... I couldn't bear it anymore... I thought that you were bad luck... and made you leave..."

.

A younger version of Renji was being carried out by the scruff of his neck.

"No Grampa! No!"

His grandfather threw him out of the house onto the dirt road. A light rain had drizzled outside earlier, and Renji fell into a puddle with a splash. Renji didn't care about the sopping mud, as he immediately got on his knees.

"Pleas' Grampa! M'sorry! I'll change, I'll do anythin'! Don' make me leave!"

His grandfather looked at him coldly.

"Was it tha' I fergot to feed the chick'ns? Or milk the cows? Pleas' tell me wha' I did wrong, Grampa!"

"The fact that you were born is enough of a wrong. You were always an ill omen, and something like you stains the Abarai family name," his grandfather roared.

"Don' do this Grampa, I'll do whateva' you say! I'll stop pickin' the sunflo'wrs and i'll stop sleepin' in, and I'll nev'r complain abou' m'chores again! And m'sorry for whateva' I did!"

"I can never forgive a dirty rat like you, or your prostitute mother who tainted my son!"

Renji was sobbing and muttering pleas for mercy, his tears spilling and his nose runny.

"I've already called the people from the child services. They'll take you away to some other family who can have the misfortune of having you." He gave a look of utter revulsion to Renji. "Never come back to this place, you wretched boy!"

His grandfather turned back to the house.

"No Grampa! Don' leave me- please! Please! Don' abandon me!" Renji cried.

The door slammed shut behind his grandfather, as Renji sobbed.

"Don' abandon me... I luv' you, Grampa..."

Later that day, Matsumoto arrived at the farm, and screeched her car to a stop at seeing a redheaded boy curled up on the side of the road.

"Oh my go- are you alright?!" Matsumoto knelt on the mud, next to the boy, checking frantically to see if the boy was still alive.

"Don' sen' me away, Grampa," Renji murmured, and soon he realized it was not his grandfather's face he was looking at but a woman's worried gaze.

"It's alright, it's alright," the woman cooed. "Are you Renji Abarai? I was told to pick you up."

A hard look crossed her features, as she looked at the house and back to him.

"Did your grandfather throw you out?"

Not wanting his grandfather to get into trouble because of him, Renji quickly shook his head.

Not looking like she fully believed him, Renji began rambling, "I sleeped her' by accid'nt- I din't mean to- Grampa pro'bly din't notice-"

"Alright, I understand," Matsumoto held up a hand. She helped him up, and then went to knock at the door.

Renji's grandfather opened the door after a few minutes. He barely spared a look at Renji.

"I'm Rangiku Matsumoto, the supervisor at Karakura Orpanage," Matsumoto began sharply, "may I ask why Renji Abarai was lying on the road?"

Renji's grandfather looked at him with absolute hatred, "What did you say to her?"

"Th-Tha' I sleeped ther' by accid'nt-"

"And that's how it is, Madam. Now, here is the paperwork," he thrust a bundle of papers into Matsumoto's hand, and then a bag into her other hand, "and here are his things, and your job is to make sure I never see that brat again."

And without sparing another look at Renji, he slammed the door in Matsumoto's face. The woman began to curse but stopped herself in front of Renji.

"Come on, let's go," she said with a controlled smile.

Renji stayed where he stood, looking at the door like a puppy, in ever optimistic hope that his grandfather would change his mind. Matsumoto looked at him sadly, and took his hand walking him to her car.

"You're six years old, right? Tōshirō's about your age, I'm sure you can make friends with him. Tōshirō is another kid at the orphanage- he's a bit of a smarty-pants though," Matsumoto started talking, but Renji didn't reply as he continued to look back at the house's door as if it would swing open for him.

As she buckled him into the seat, and finally started driving away, Renji still hadn't looked away from the house's door. He looked at it over his shoulder, until he couldn't see the house anymore, and it was only when it was completely out of sight that Renji broke down and began crying.

He felt Matsumoto stop the car, and open his door to quickly embrace him and hush him, but his tears didn't stop.

"Grampa, Grampa," he had sobbed.

.

And now, just a year later, his grandfather was sobbing for him, Renji thought distantly.

"Renji... I am sorry... you brightened the house with your laughter... and even my wife loved you like her own... only I was stubborn and did not accept you... forgive me, Renji...forgive me..."

"I always wish'd that someday you'd come and take me home, Grampa," Renji started, "ev'n if you telled me to go, I want'd to come back."

Renji took his grandfather's hand and held it to his face, "it's 'cause I luv'd Grampa and Gran, no matt'r what."

"I don't have much time left Renji... but thank you... you've set my heart at peace... and I am sorry again for making you suffer..."

Renji shook his head, "No Grampa, I din't. I was happy."

Here, he looked at Ichigo who gave him a small supportive smile.

"I was happy, 'cause I had friens' who play'd with me and liked me," Renji motioned Ichigo to come over. "This here is my frien' Ichigo."

"It's very nice to meet you, sir," Ichigo smiled politely and spoke softly. "Renji is a very good friend of mine. He's friendly and cheerful, and he can even run faster than me. Everyone in the orphanage loves him."

He looked at Renji, "And we were all worried about him."

"Yeah," Renji smiled gratefully at Ichigo, "thanks for everythin', Ichi."

"Thank you... for being friends with my boy..." Renji's grandfather rasped. "It means the world to me... knowing that he is happy."

"Grampa..."

The door of the room opened again, and Ichigo turned to glare at whoever had ruined the moment but immediately stopped when he saw Matsumoto walk in.

"Ichigo, Renji, it's time to go."

"Ahh, you're the woman from that day... I apologize for my behaviour... to you too..."

Matsumoto walked to the bed, and placed a hand on Renji's shoulder and another on Ichigo's.

"It's alright. As long as Renji is okay, then I am fine as well," she spoke with looking at Renji, who nodded.

"I wish... that I could live... so I could take Renji... and live together with him again... and could make him smile again."

With this, he stopped talking.

"Grampa?!" Renji called frantically.

Matsumoto held Renji back, "Easy there, he's just asleep. Let's get going now, Renji? Ichigo?"

Ichigo nodded. Renji looked like he wanted to stay with his grandfather longer, but also nodded his head.

They walked out of the room past Renji's Aunt, who looked at them with distaste as she pushed back into the room and closed the door behind her.

Matsumoto sighed, and took both boys' hands and walked them downstairs, past all the people, and out of the house.

.

The drive back to Karakura Orphanage was quiet, but Matsumoto looked at the boys through her rearview mirror and smiled this time.

Renji and Ichigo were huddled together, with Renji's head falling to the older boy's shoulder and Ichigo leaning on Renji's head in return. Both held hands and were sound asleep.

When she finally got back to the orphanage, the sun had already set and the sky had darkened. It had taken a good two and a half hours driving back. Matsumoto hadn't the heart to wake the boys up, but she steeled herself for breaking the cute scene before her and shook them gently.

Like sleepy kittens, they blinked their eyes open and gave a yawn in unison to which Matsumoto all but squealed at. They looked at her blankly and shook their heads.

Renji climbed out of the car first, and turned to Ichigo as the older boy got out after him.

"Ichi, thanks fer today," Renji said, before hugging the older boy hard and letting go, "y-you really helped."

"Whenever you need me, I'll be there," Ichigo replied honestly with compassionate eyes.

Renji just laughed and punched the older boy's arm.

"What're ya doin', tryin' to act cool?"

They both laughed, and Renji turned towards the house.

"But... thanks, Ichi. Really, for everythin'."

"Yeah, any time, Renji."

"Aww," Matsumoto let out, and both boys jumped as they had both forgotten her presence. They both looked at her with annoyed stares as she ruffled both of their hair. "No mushy stuff in front of the house, okay?"

"M-Mushy?!" Both boys uttered in shock.

Matsumoto just laughed her musical laugh in response, and she unlocked the door.

"We're back!"

Komamura came to meet them, his kitchen apron still on.

"Welcome back. How was the trip?"

"Fine, but exhausting," Matsumoto yawned to the older man, "where are the other kids?"

"I sent them up to sleep early."

Just as he had said this, multiple footsteps were heard coming down on the stairs.

"Ichi and Ren are back!" The twins cheered, as they hopped off the stairs first. The others also followed excitedly after them.

"I thought I told you kids to go to sleep."

The children froze, but Matsumoto waved them downstairs, "Lighten up, Sajin. They were probably worried- like you were."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ah, so you weren't waiting here at the main entrance for us in worry?"

"I was going to bed, and I just happened to be passing by-"

"-going to bed in your apron?" Matsumoto raised an eyebrow.

Komamura stubbornly shrugged.

Leaving the adults to converse between themselves, the children streamed down to see their friends.

After expressing a great deal of concern for both boys, and regaling the boys of tales of the water sprinklers that had magically turned on, the children happily chattered away.

"Alright, now everyone go to bed and for real this time," Matsumoto shepherded them all upstairs.

Before Renji and Ichigo could join the others upstairs, they were forced to sit down and eat something before they headed off to bed, as they had missed dinner. Neither could say 'no' to Komamura, both with different reasons, but both ate all the same.

As they were finally allowed to go upstairs, they bid Komamura good night, brushed their teeth and headed to their own rooms.

"Hey Ichigo," Renji spoke, "ya kno' how you said I could come to ya wheneva' I need'd somethin'? Well I wanna say the same goes fer me."

He jabbed his thumb at his chest, "Ya need anythin' and ya comes ta me, clear?"

"But Renji," Ichigo looked amused but touched, "I'm older."

"Wha' does tha' matter," Renji huffed. Ichigo had to laugh outright at that.

"You're right, Renji. Thank you, I appreciate it- really, I do."

"Then don' keep everythin' to yerself, okay?"

Ichigo gave a look of surprise at Renji, and saw nothing but honest concern on his friend's face. He wondered if Renji was more perceptive than he had given him credit for, and had noticed how Ichigo carefully had hidden any hint of his past.

"Yeah, I'll try not to," he answered with some difficulty.

Renji smiled, and gave Ichigo another tight hug before wishing him a good night and entering his room, leaving Ichigo to think by himself in the dark hallway.

.

When Ichigo entered his room, he saw Byakuya already cocooned up in his blankets and Tōshirō in bed. He wondered if both boys had fallen asleep while he had his late dinner with Renji.

Ichigo climbed into his bed, and shifted under his blankets to get comfortable.

He listened to the clock on the wall tick away. For some reason, sleep was eluding him and he sighed softly as his body was tired but his mind was still wide awake.

He peeked out of his blanket, and watched the wall opposite him. He counted sheep, he named the alphabet backwards in his head, he did whatever he could but sleep would not come to him.

Suddenly, Ichigo heard a creak behind him.

"Ichigo?"

Recognizing Tōshirō's voice trembling in the dark, Ichigo immediately sat up and turned towards the boy. The smaller boy's hands were instantly on his shoulders, pushing him back down.

"N-No, it's okay- don't get up- I just wanted to see if you were awake- I just-I mean I-"

Tōshirō bit his lip and didn't say a word more.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Ichigo asked gently. At Tōshirō's strong tremble that he felt from the younger boy's hands, which were still on his shoulders, Ichigo confirmed the case. He took the boy's hands from his shoulders to his own, and pulled Tōshirō down into bed with him. He winced slightly at how cold the boy's hands were, but nonetheless kept them in his own hands.

"Ichi-?"

"Shh," Ichigo hushed, as he reached to pull the covers over both him and Tōshirō, shifting so they could share the blanket. He held the younger boy in his arms, as Tōshirō latched onto Ichigo's shirt and burrowed into him.

They lay silently for several minutes. It wasn't as if this had been the first time Tōshirō had come to Ichigo at night, but it was certainly the first time Ichigo had seen the boy so distressed.

"Do you... want to talk about it, Tōshirō?" Ichigo whispered cautiously.

He felt Tōshirō shake his head wildly.

"I- I can't- You'll hate me- I can't-"

The boy's voice was muffled but frantic, and Ichigo rubbed his back to calm him, "I could never hate you Tōshirō, you know that."

"I can't, Ichigo..."

Ichigo sighed softly, his breath rushing at Tōshirō's neck. The younger boy stiffened in fear that he had disappointed Ichigo.

"It's alright," Ichigo replied, noticing how tense Tōshirō had become. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. If you want me to hold you, then I will. If you want me to listen to you, then I will. I won't force you to do anything."

Tōshirō nodded, and looked up to Ichigo's face in gratitude. The bright moonlight that lit the room shimmered in his snow-white hair, and a strange fear calmed in his shining eyes making them look like a very light teal colour.

"Thank you, Ichigo," he looked down to Ichigo's neck and hastily raised his eyes back to meet Ichigo's warm brown ones, "I'll tell you someday- I promise."

"That's enough for me," Ichigo smiled, letting his hand trail through Tōshirō's hair, and the younger boy mewled much to Ichigo's amusement. Tōshirō looked at Ichigo with half-lidded eyes, and smiled sweetly before closing them.

Slowly, Tōshirō fell asleep to Ichigo's fingers' magic. As Ichigo pulled his hand back, Tōshirō inhaled sharply before leaning closer to Ichigo.

"Kaien," the younger boy whispered in his slumber and peacefully slept, unknowing that his uttered words had shocked Ichigo awake, even more so than he already had been.

Ichigo first thought was to wake Tōshirō up and question him about this 'Kaien' but inwardly cursed as he had just promised to wait for Tōshirō to open up by himself.

And so, Ichigo spent the night in a restless sleep as the boy in his arms slept more peacefully than he could remember for a very long time; thus ending another day of Ichigo's stay at Karakura Orphanage.


	9. Farewells

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **In this chapter, the children learn to say goodbye. It's a little bittersweet again. Sorry for the delay, real life is busy, but next exam is my last exam, and then I'll be free. Well, until the summer semester starts… But I'll have a short break, in which I'll do my best to write as much as I can. As always, feedback/comments are very appreciated and encouraging! Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

When Ichigo next awoke, he was alone in bed. He cracked open an eye to see Tōshirō had returned to his own side of the room.

This was usually the case when Tōshirō asked to share his bed with him. He would return to his bed sometime during the night or before daybreak, which would make Ichigo shiver a bit from the loss of warmth that Tōshirō provided. No matter how cold the younger boy's hands were, the rest of him was warm and comforting.

Tōshirō faintly reminded Ichigo of his sisters, Karin and Yuzu, and their hugs. It made Ichigo a bit more attached to the white-haired boy than he'd like to admit.

According to a glance at the clock, Ichigo saw that he still had an hour before he had to wake up for breakfast. He lay on his back for a while, watching the sunlight as it made various shadows on the ceiling. Unable to fall asleep again, Ichigo decided to get up early, and climbed out of bed with a small stretch. He quietly closed the bedroom's door behind him, careful not to disturb Byakuya and Tōshirō.

As he headed to the bathroom, he heard soft snores coming from the room Renji shared with Sentarō and Kenpachi, though Kenpachi more than often fell asleep curled up in Yachiru's room.

He walked downstairs, and to his surprise, Komamura was already up in the kitchen cooking something delicious. He turned his head at Ichigo's approaching steps.

"G'morning," Ichigo yawned.

"Good morning," Komamura replied, "it's good to see you not sleeping in the backyard this morning."

Ichigo grinned at the playful jab.

"Nope, not today."

They talked about idle nothings; both not touching sensitive subjects that they knew existed between them to avoid another awkward confrontation. Thus no matter how much Ichigo wanted to ask about who Kaien was, he stayed quiet.

A bit later, Matsumoto entered the kitchen and expressed surprise at Ichigo being awake earlier than usual.

They talked about their plans for the day, with Matsumoto mentioning that the trip to the Zoo that they had put off the other day would be followed through. She asked Komamura to prepare lunchboxes for everyone.

Out of the other children, Renji entered the kitchen first.

"You're up already too, Renji?" Matsumoto asked. "You almost always sleep in."

"Felt like gettin' up early," Renji shrugged, sitting across from Ichigo giving the boy a friendly smile. "G'mornin, Ichi."

"Good morning, Renji," Ichigo smiled back.

"Nah, ya gotta call me Ren fr'm now on," Renji waved a hand. "I likes it more."

"Then, I'll call you Ren."

"D'aww," Matsumoto cooed, and both boys gave her a weird look.

"So Ren," Ichigo started, "tell me how you beat Soi Fon at soccer last time? I could barely get the ball from her!"

"Thas' 'cause yer a softie Ichi!" Renji laughed, and then leaned in if he were sharing a secret of immense strategic importance. "Now, Soi tries not ta show'it, but she gets confuzzled real easy, so you go behin' her like this an' then go to th' side..."

.

A bit later, the rest of the children followed downstairs, joining in the conversation as they did so. They had gone from talking about soccer to somehow talking about penguins and their lack of flight.

"Bu' they're birds, why can't they fly?" Soi Fon asked as she squinted in confusion.

"Thas' 'cause they're th' dumb kinda birds," Renji replied, seemingly knowing all about the subject.

"I don't think that's the case," Byakuya added.

"No, you guys," Tōshirō sighed, as he began explaining just why penguins were incapable of flight. The children listened attentively to Tōshirō's explanation, but drooped in boredom as it persisted into a long-winded lecture and spiralled into a longer talk about several species of avian species that were unable to fly.

"So that's why ostriches can't fly either-" Tōshirō had been saying.

"What're we gonna be doin' today?" Kenpachi grinned, interrupting Tōshirō in mid-sentence, who glared at him with some annoyance.

Matsumoto watched Tōshirō and Kenpachi with a giggle.

"The Zoo," Matsumoto had barely mentioned, when the children burst into ecstatic cheers.

"Ru is goin' ta the Zoo!" Rukia crowed, as she and Soi Fon did a brief dance together. The twins also did a little jig.

"To the polaw beawrs!"

"And the panda beawrs!"

The phone suddenly rang loudly.

The children looked at the phone, and then at each other. The last time, a phone call had disrupted their plans to the Zoo and they looked at the phone, strongly hoping that Matsumoto wouldn't pick it up and cancel their trip again.

Yet once more, the trip to the Zoo would be stalled as Matsumoto picked up the phone.

"Hello, Karakura Orphanage, supervisor Matsumoto speaking."

She listened to the other person on the line, before darting her eyes to Renji.

"Oh, really..."

Renji's face grew haunted, and Ichigo knew that the boy must have instantly been worrying for his sick grandfather.

"No, I suppose today is alright but- oh, I see. No, if it's like that, I'm sure Renji will want to know right away."

Renji flinched at hearing his name.

"Yes, I understand. I'll get everything ready, but it will be up to Renji."

Matsumoto exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone, before turning to Renji, who had turned as white as a sheet.

"Renji-"

"No, I don' wanna hear it!" Renji shouted, shocking the other children at how upset he had become. None of the children had known about Renji's personal history except for Ichigo, who looked just as pale and worried. "I don' wanna hear that Grampa is... is... gone."

Matsumoto walked to Renji and took him into her arms with pity.

"Renji, that's just it though. Your grandfather has made a startling recovery, and he swears it's because you went to see him. He's coming over today, Renji..."

Matsumoto looked into Renji's widening eyes.

"He's coming over to adopt you, only if you'd like."

.

The result was not instantaneous with Renji, as it slowly sank in that his grandfather hadn't died, but was very much alive and well, and wanted Renji back at home with him. Renji began to cry softly, wondering if he were dreaming.

Ichigo slipped out of his seat, and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. Renji turned to hug the older boy tightly.

"Ichi, Gramps wans' me back! Gramps wans' me!"

He was deliriously happy that his grandfather had wanted him back into his household- that he would finally return to his family.

"Will you go, Ren?" Ichigo asked Renji gently.

"It's all up to you, Renji," Matsumoto spoke just as kindly from behind him.

Renji looked at Matsumoto, and then back to Ichigo with tears of joy in his eyes, and he nodded.

"I wanna, ev'n if I hafta walk all the way back to the farm."

"Now, it won't come to that," Matsumoto smiled. "I'll need you to come with me, to get the paperwork ready. If you want to think it over Renji-"

Renji immediately shook his head, "I wanna be with Grampa."

Matsumoto nodded in approval, and left the kitchen with Renji's hand in hers.

Behind them, the children were quiet and a troubled air hung over them.

"Wh-What's wrong guys?" Ichigo spoke, as they had all fallen silent.

"This means that Ren will be leaving the orphanage," Byakuya spoke up for them, articulating their thoughts. "We won't get to see him anymore."

Sniffling, Soi Fon got up from her chair and ran to hug Ichigo. Ichigo immediately held her in return. He knew how close both Soi Fon and Renji had gotten by sharing their love of soccer.

"Ru won' see Ren again?" Rukia's lower lip wobbled, as Byakuya patted his sister's hair while he too looked sad.

"Ren," the twins cried quietly.

Kenpachi was oddly silent along with Tōshirō; both had strange resigned looks in their eyes but still looked disheartened nonetheless.

Komamura pulled out a handful of colourful lollipops from where they were kept on the most upper shelf, and he wordlessly laid them on the table where the children sat. Ichigo knew it was his way of cheering them up.

Suddenly, Ichigo knew. The children here didn't have their own warm families to return to, so they depended on each other as a family. Seeing Renji go was like losing a brother to them.

He didn't know what to say to comfort everyone, as even he himself began to have a faint feeling of sorrow and loss well up inside of him, though he knew he should've been happy for Renji for finally finding a place to belong to.

He silently continued holding a sobbing Soi Fon, and sat down with her in his lap, as they all were lost in their feelings for Renji.

.

Renji's grandfather arrived more sooner than they had expected.

The old man had really made a startling recovery, and there was a remarkable visible difference from the day Ichigo had seen the man on his apparent deathbed. It was like seeing a completely different person. The old man walked with a cane, but he looked energetic and happy and not at all looking like the lifeless husk Ichigo had remembered him as.

"Renji, my boy. I've come to take you home."

Renji ran into his arms, crying, and the old man cried along with his grandson.

The children stood to the side, as they watched Renji's expression grow happier than they had ever seen him be.

The grandfather and grandson walked into the living room, and the children kept out of the way, but stayed near the living room.

Renji talked a long time with his grandfather, and Matsumoto went in and out of the room carrying papers in her arms. Finally getting up, Renji's grandfather shook Matsumoto's hand.

Komamura walked into the room with a bag full of Renji's things.

"Grampa, thes're all my friends," Renji had been saying, motioning towards them as he walked to them.

His grandfather warmly shook all of their hands, and they politely greeted him.

"Thank you for being friends with my grandson."

"We wer' lucky to have him as our friend," Tōshirō spoke first, breaking his silence. They all nodded at this.

"He was one heckuva soccawr play'r," Kenpachi grinned, "thewre'll be no one to beat Soi now."

Soi Fon sniffled in response.

"Thanks guys- m'gonna miss you too," Renji spoke, and suddenly his voice caught in his throat as if realizing that this was goodbye. He looked panicked, as if he should say something, but nothing came to mind.

"It's time to go," Renji's grandfather spoke up, as he led Renji to the door.

With a cry, Soi Fon ran to Renji and all but tackled him.

"Don' go!"

Before Matsumoto could go pull Soi Fon off of Renji, Rukia suddenly escaped Byakuya's hold and also clung onto Renji.

"Ren, don' leave!"

"Rukia!" Byakuya called, but didn't have the heart to pull his sister away from her friend. He too seemed to be blinking hard to avoid his eyes from tearing up.

The twins were outright crying, and followed the two girls to hug Renji.

Matsumoto gave them a weak pull, but the children held tightly onto their friend. Renji was also shaking in tears. Although she had said farewell to many children of the orphanage before, Matsumoto still found that her eyes were also wet.

Komamura steadily made his way to the children, "It's time to let go."

The children shook their heads.

"Not ye'!"

"We don' wan' Ren to go!"

"Ren!"

"You're all making him sad," Komamura said firmly and the children still hung on. "Renji wants to go and be happy, and you're stopping him. Don't be selfish."

"B-Bu' we'll be sad withou' Ren," Soi Fon hiccupped.

"Be strong, and send him off with a smile," Komamura's eyes softened.

"That's right," Matsumoto spoke breathily wiping her own eyes, "we have to smile and say goodbye, everyone."

Slowly the girls and the twins pulled away. They all gave an attempted toothy smile through their tears.

"We'll miss ya," Kenpachi spoke up and walked closer to Renji.

"It won't be the same without you," Byakuya said this time, walking to Rukia in his arms.

"Come back and visit sometime, 'kay?" Tōshirō smiled, his lips trembling as he did so and his eyes were glossy with unshed tears.

Ichigo walked to Renji and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Be happy, Ren," Ichigo spoke, emotion clear in his voice.

"I am glad," Renji's grandfather spoke up. "I am very happy to see that my grandson had such good friends like all of you. Thank you."

The children nodded their assent, as Renji rubbed at the tears in his eyes.

"Don' worry guys, I'll come back som'day ta see ya all."

With that, Renji walked out of Karakura Ophanage with his grandfather.

.

Tōshirō tugged at Ichigo's sleeve, and pointed upstairs where all the children headed. Confused, but following the others, Ichigo saw the children standing in front of a window to the front of the house.

"This is you guys's firstest time seein' a kid go, rwight?" Kenpachi spoke in a low voice to the children. "Me an' Snowy have been hewre the longest and seen a lot of 'em go. We've always been watchin'."

"We saw'd you from hewre too, when you com'd hewre the firstest day, Ichi," Kenpachi remarked to Ichigo. "We watch ev'rytime a kid comes or goes from this window."

As if Renji felt their eyes on him, he turned to the window and gave a wave. They waved back, and watched as Renji hesitated but got into his grandfather's car, and soon the car rolled away and was gone.

A deep sense of loss pervaded the children who slumped forward at the window, trying to see the car until it was out of sight.

Matsumoto climbed up the stairs and saw the children pitifully continue to watch for any sign of Renji's car.

"You know," she started, getting the attention of the upset children, "someday all of you will leave the orphanage and find happy families of your own. This isn't a place that you can stay forever at- it's just one stop where you stand. And someday all of you will move forward from here, just as Renji has."

"Bu' Ru wanna stay wit' ev'ryone forev'r," Rukia spoke, her eyes spilling with tears and nose running.

"You can't," Matsumoto replied, gently wiping the girl's nose with a tissue, "there will be a time when things will change. But even though you have to leave, there are even more happy things waiting for you somewhere out there."

"I don' like change!" Soi Fon cried. "I wish nothin' wou' change!"

"Kiyo don' like change!"

"Sen don' either!"

The twins held onto each other's hands for support.

"All things change," and this time it was surprisingly Ichigo who had spoken. He looked to be in a trance-like state. "All things change."

"Ichigo?" Tōshirō and Byakuya looked at him with worry.

Ichigo shook his head, "It's just something I remember hearing from someone before."

"It's true," Matsumoto affirmed.

"Well, Kiyo won' change!"

"Sen won' too!"

"And neith'r will I!" Soi Fon spoke loudly.

"Ru too!"

Kenpachi stayed silent, as if detached from the scene. He began walking away.

"Wher' you goin' Ken?" Soi Fon called.

"To see Yachiwu. You guys awre dumb and shouwld listen to Ichi," he answered without stopping, "all things chanwge."

"You'll see! Nothin' will change fr'm now on!" Soi Fon shot back at the boy. "You'll see!"

The other younger children in their grief tried to hold onto Soi Fon's resolve, and nodded. Byakuya and Tōshirō merely shook their heads, and Matsumoto looked like she was going to cry again.

.

The rest of the day passed with the children slumped in their rooms, and they only came downstairs for a quiet dinner. They were sent off to bed early, but no one bothered to complain, and it pained them because if Renji had been there, he would most certainly whine about being forced to sleep early. Without the redheaded boy, they all fell in low spirits as they trudged up to bed.

They bid each other good night, and each of them brushed their teeth and headed to sleep.

For a while, Ichigo lay on his back, hoping that Tōshirō would come to his bed. He felt empty inside, and felt like he needed the white-haired boy, if only for another person's warmth by his side.

He debated going to Tōshirō's bed himself for once, but luckily he heard Tōshirō's light footsteps approach him.

He sat up, feeling slightly guilty for the relief he felt at Tōshirō seeking him out.

"What is it, Tōshirō? Another nightmare?"

He saw the white-haired boy shake his head slowly.

"No but, I- I just want to be with you."

In the dim moonlight, he couldn't make out Tōshirō's expression but Ichigo saw how Tōshirō's shoulders slouched, and for a moment he looked like the loneliest boy in the world. Ichigo hurried to take him by the hands and pull him down onto the bed.

Tōshirō curled like a cat around Ichigo, who was more than happy to wrap his arms around Tōshirō's small figure.

"Ne, Tōshirō, why are your hands always so cold?" Ichigo asked quietly into the boy's soft hair.

"M'not sure. Maybe it's because I've never really been warm before," Tōshirō mumbled.

Before Ichigo could ask what Tōshirō meant by that, Tōshirō continued, his voice muffled as he spoke while keeping his head to Ichigo's chest.

"Today, with what happened with Renji... doesn't it seem like a dream? Someone from your family just suddenly showin' up... and takin' you home?" Tōshirō sounded wistful. "It's a dream come true for any orphan."

"Is that your dream, Tōshirō?"

Somehow, Renji's departure had made Tōshirō vulnerable and more willing to talk. Ichigo listened carefully to the younger boy, who usually never volunteered any information on himself.

"Mnn, I guess it would be. But she won't come for me and she won't look at me. I gave up hope a long time ago," Tōshirō spoke, his eyes finally tilted up and looked drowsily at Ichigo. "But if she came for me now, I would still go with her, 'cause I still want someone to call 'Mom'."

Tōshirō chuckled bitterly, a sound that shook Ichigo with worry.

"Isn't it funny? Us kids, we give all our love to the adults. Even if they throw us away, we love 'em and forgive 'em. I hate it, I really do. But I can't help it either."

"Not all adults are bad, Tōshirō. Ms. Matsumoto and Ms. Unohana are nice aren't they? And Sa-Ko as well," Ichigo persuaded.

"Ichigo," Tōshirō replied after a pause, "you may be older, but you still don't understand."

"Then make me understand."

"No," Tōshirō laughed breathily, "I could never do that to you. I like you just the way you are- you haven't given up like I have. And when I'm with you... I can finally feel warm."

When Tōshirō had become quiet for a few long moments, Ichigo held Tōshirō tighter and whispered.

"Good, I'll warm you up whenever you want me to."

He felt Tōshirō give the same breathy laugh again, and the younger boy raised a hand to stroke Ichigo's hair, the orange-haired boy melting under the tentative touch. It was an action that he very strongly linked with his mother, who had let her fingers freely run through his hair when he was younger, but he didn't tell Tōshirō this and merely enjoyed the feeling of bittersweet longing.

"You're a dummy, Ichi. But I like that part of you too."

Tōshirō fell asleep soon after, but Ichigo stayed awake for a bit longer.

It would be nice, he thought to himself, if nothing changed.

But in his heart, he knew that truly 'all things changed'. He felt disturbed as there was a voice in his thoughts repeating these words over and over, but he just couldn't pinpoint who had said the words to him. Yet these words felt nostalgic and deep to him.

It was just like how being with Tōshirō felt so natural and calmed him- the words soothed him with an inevitable tinge that things wouldn't stay still.

He thought that he remembered a conversation from long ago, as a man talked to him.

"_All things change, Ichigo. And because things change, they can become better."_

"_Or worse."_

_The man laughed, "But that's the beauty of life, Ichigo. Things might get worse but because everything is in a process of change, they never stay worse. Eventually things get better because of change, trust me."_

Ichigo huddled closer to Tōshirō, as Soi Fon's words echoed in his ears again.

"_You'll see! Nothin' will change fr'm now on! You'll see!"_

And Ichigo just didn't know who to believe, but he inwardly hoped that Soi Fon was right.

Change had taken away so much away from him, and it wasn't getting better. Now he had lost another friend to change. He hoped from the bottom of his heart that everything, for once, would just stop. That time would for once take pity on the hurting hearts of the children in Karakura Orphanage, and stand still.

But unknown to Ichigo, a catalyst of fate had already come into motion in the orphanage and just the next day, their pseudo-family would begin breaking apart further with two more members of their group saying goodbye.


	10. Change

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Surprise, it's a double chapter update this week! This chapter is somewhat longer than usual, but it deals with more change in the story, as well as a bit about Kaien and Masaki. I know many of you want to know what happened in the past, but I'll continue to ask for your patience. We're getting there, slowly but surely! As always, feedback/comments are appreciated, and please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

"Yo, Sajin!"

Kaien walked to a younger Sajin Komamura, who had been reading a book on Italian recipes in the dim light of the shady lounge.

"You're late, Kaien."

"Sorry sorry, I was picking up my girlfr- hey, where'd she go?"

Masaki was nervously standing by the door, and Kaien laughed. He strode back to her and looked at her tenderly; he slowly led her to his friend's table.

"Hey now, no need to be scared. It looks pretty fishy at first, but this place has some great coffee. I've been coming here since my middle school years. It's where I met Sajin too. Ah right, Sajin, this is Masaki Kurosaki- my girlfriend."

Kaien turned to Masaki, and pointed at the older man, "And this is Sajin Komamura, my best friend. We met when he was in his last year of high school and I was still in my first year of middle school, so he's about six years older. He goes to some fancy chef school now."

Sajin raised an eyebrow at the end of Kaien's introduction, but nodded a hello to Masaki.

"So you're the one Kaien was talking about- the one who watches Detective Takeru."

Masaki blushed, "Y-Yes, that's me."

"I have to thank you then," Sajin continued, "since he has you now, he is no longer spamming my cell phone with ridiculous texts about the show. You are quite the life-saver."

Masaki looked at him before she burst into giggles.

"Hee, I know what you mean! Kaien messaged me _all night_ after the episode where Takeru's boss ended up being an evil mastermind, and he just thought it was so cliché but cool!"

"I can fully sympathize."

Kaien sighed in mock misery, "Great, my girlfriend and best friend are gossiping about me. I need my wingman! Where's Isshin?"

"He texted me that would be late," Sajin answered, as he slid his book to Masaki who peeked through it with fascinated eyes. "Something about Karin crying too much?"

"Who is Isshin, Kaien?" Masaki asked, cutely tilting her head.

"He's my cousin," Kaien replied as he looked through a drinks menu, "he's about seven years older than me, but we're still really close. He's just been recently divorced and his ex-wife left him with both of their kids."

Masaki gasped at that.

"Yeah, Isshin was pretty broken about it but he's picked up the pieces," Kaien gave a small fond smile here, "don't tell him that I told you this, but Isshin is something like my hero. No matter what happens, he never lets anything get him down."

Just as he said this, the door to the lounge opened again. Kaien turned his head back to see if it was his cousin, but at seeing it being some random couple, he turned his head again. Then he paused, and looked at the couple again.

"Hey, 'Saki, isn't that your friend over there?"

Masaki looked at him curiously, and turned her head to where Kaien was looking.

"Oh my gosh! It's Ran!" She exclaimed. "Rangiku, over here!"

Rangiku said something to the man with her, and they walked over to Masaki's table.

"Hi 'Saki!" Rangiku squealed, hugging her friend at the happy coincidental meeting. "On a date with Kaien?"

"Just meeting some of his friends," Masaki replied, smiling at Sajin who nodded at Rangiku in greeting.

"Ooh, you're at that stage already? Planning for a wedding?" Rangiku smiled, her eyes glittering mischievously.

"R-Ran!" Masaki stutted a rebuke, blushing. "W-What are _you_ doing here?"

"On a date too! Masaki, this is Gin Ichimaru," Rangiku looped her arm around the man's, "he's graduated high school just this year, and is working at a science lab."

"Gin, this is one of my best friends, Masaki Kurosaki," she smiled at her partner.

"Pleased to meet you Ms. Masaki," the silver-haired man spoke in a strange dialect, but his voice was silky and pleasant.

"Nice to meet you too, please take care of Rangiku," Masaki smiled.

Rangiku laughed away her concern but leaned over to kiss Masaki's cheek in gratitude, "We'll leave you enjoy yourselves. See you, 'Saki."

With that, Rangiku and Gin walked to the back and sat at an empty table.

Kaien had been strangely silent the entire time, and Masaki looked at him with a questioning stare.

"Masaki," Kaien started in a low voice, "I'm not sure your friend should be with someone like Ichimaru. He has a bad reputation."

Sajin didn't say anything, but also looked at the silver-haired man with a suspicious eye.

Masaki's eyes grew wide in fear, and she looked back to Rangiku who was laughing at something Gin had said.

Seeing his girlfriend become streaked with worry, Kaien quickly took her hand and caressed it with his thumb.

"But Rangiku is strong, I'm sure she can take care of herself," Kaien added in haste. Masaki nodded distractedly, still looking concerned for her friend.

The door suddenly opened with a loud noise and the sound of a baby crying.

"I think we can guess who that is," Sajin remarked dryly.

"Heeello! Lovely day isn't it, dear cousin? And Sajin! Looking as healthy and robust as ever!"

A tall black haired man walked in, a little girl held one of his hands and his other arm cradled a wailing infant; a baby bag was swung over his back. The other people in the lounge looked at him with annoyed stares.

"Isshin, must you embarrass us in public?" Sajin shook his head.

"It's like it's his life's purpose," Kaien snorted, but got up to give a one-armed hug to his older cousin.

"Sorry guys, but Yuzu took forever in the bath, and Karin has been cranky all day! I can't get her to stop crying!" Isshin whined. "She won't even listen when Daddy gives her tasty nomnoms, isn't that right Karin?"

Karin cried louder in her father's arms in response.

Masaki was still shy but was absolutely a fan of children. She held out her hands for Karin. Isshin took a look at her, and glanced to Kaien who nodded.

"This is my girlfriend, Isshin. Her name is Masaki."

"Oho! So a woman finally catches your eye! A little secret between you and me, Masaki, Kaien's last love was in elementary school and he was crushed when the girl rejected him 'cause he wasn't tall enough for her tastes."

"Isshin!"

Masaki couldn't help but laugh merrily. Isshin gave her Karin to hold, and Masaki bounced the baby. Karin immediately stopped crying and stared at Masaki with bright wide eyes.

"Oh, you adorable thing, you!" Masaki rubbed her nose with Karin who giggled and coughed at the same time. "Aww, are you sick, darling? It's no fun, isn't it?"

Masaki continued to coo at Karin who gave her stares full of wonder and half-smiles. Isshin looked to Masaki with surprise, not expecting the girl to be so motherly. Yuzu let go of her father's hand to sit next to Masaki, and Masaki nuzzled the other girl's nose as well, making Yuzu laugh in delight.

A strange feeling passed through Isshin at the incredibly warm scene.

"Isn't my girlfriend just amazing?"

Isshin turned his head to see Kaien gazing at Masaki with the softest smile Isshin had ever seen on the boy's lips.

"Yeah, she's really something."

.

Komamura opened his eyes in bed, blinking away the remnants of the dream.

It wasn't strange of him to remember the past, but he wondered why that specific memory had come to him then. It had been his first meeting with Masaki, and the lovely girl was nothing short of perfection.

He couldn't believe though, how he had missed the spark of a deep longing in Isshin's eyes at Masaki being motherly to his daughters.

Isshin had still been hurt by his ex-wife's sudden separation and Masaki provided the hope he needed to survive for his daughters. No matter how heroic and capable Kaien had seen Isshin as, Isshin was still a human.

And he also couldn't believe he had missed the dangerous gleam in the eyes of Gin Ichimaru, or right there, he would have deterred the man in order to prevent all the tragedy the man had ended up causing. He still saw Matsumoto weep hopelessly sometimes when she drank her bad memories away with Unohana, and she often mumbled the name Gin.

Komamura knew though, that if Matsumoto knew the whole story behind Gin Ichimaru, she would find the man and kill him herself.

But that would be wrong too, because Matsumoto had fallen in a very deep love with Gin which still haunted her even now. For all her strength, Komamura knew Matsumoto was still struggling with her past. It was the one thing she could never get rid of or run away from, but he knew that she had to overcome it someday or she'd be doomed to spend the rest of life in misery.

Komamura prepared for the day, and came down to the kitchen. He turned on the kitchen lights, as the sun had yet to rise and the house was still dark with shadows.

To his utter surprise, Ichigo was already awake and stood in the kitchen while holding a butter-knife in his hand.

Shocked for a second, the older man plucked the piece of cutlery from Ichigo's hand, and gave him a deep frown.

"May I know why you are holding a knife at," Komamura looked at the clock, "five-thirty in the morning? Well?"

Ichigo looked at Komamura guiltily but began explaining.

"I couldn't sleep because Tōshirō kept taking the blan- I mean, I just couldn't sleep. I decided to get up early, and was watching the sunrise through the window."

Komamura waited for Ichigo to continue, inwardly wondering whether he should comment on the boy's closeness with seven-year old Tōshirō, but decided not to in favour of more important matters.

"But then I saw someone. He just... stood there. Well, I think it was a man. He had long hair. But he kept looking up at the windows where the girls slept, so I thought-"

Without hearing another word, Komamura walked out of the kitchen and headed to the main door with heavy steps.

"Is he still there?"

"I- I don't know, he was there when I came down to the kitchen to get something-"

"You were going to attack him with a knife?"

"No! Well, I was just... going to _intimidate_ him."

"Well, no more intimidating from you," Komamura sighed. "I'm going to take a look, you stay here."

"No way! I'm not leaving you, Sa-Ko! It could be dangerous!"

"I can handle this, Ichigo."

"Even adults need help sometimes, Sa-Ko."

"Not from twelve-year olds," Komamura countered.

"Age doesn't matter! It's something Renji told me. And anyway, I'll scream like a girl and run to get help if anything happens?" Ichigo pleaded. "Please let me come?"

With another resigned sigh, Komamura just knew he was incapable of denying this boy anything.

"Alright, but stay behind me."

"I- I will!"

.

Komamura quietly creaked open the door and looked for any sign of the man.

"He's at the side of the house, looking from behind the tree," Ichigo supplied helpfully. Komamura nodded, and both crept out of the house and closed the door noiselessly behind them. When they made it to the side of the house, true to Ichigo's word, they saw a man looking up the windows. His head was covered by a dark hood.

Komamura showed swiftness that Ichigo hadn't credited the man with, and the older man pinned the stranger onto the fence with force.

"You are trespassing on private property," Komamura growled, "state your business."

The hood fell over to show long grey hair. Komamura instantly let go.

"Mr. Jūshirō Ukitake," he recognized. "Please refrain from such activities- you are not some youngster, and should be mature as such."

"My my, to be scolded by one so much younger than me," the man looked about Komamura with a wry smile.

"A very intelligent boy told me that age does not matter in certain circumstances."

"Very intelligent indeed, I'd love to meet him."

Komamura nodded, and turned his head, "Ichigo, it's alright. Come out."

Ichigo poked his head around the side of the house, and cautiously walked to Komamura's side.

"This is him- Ichigo Kurosaki," Komamura introduced, as Ichigo looked at the stranger with curiosity but distrust. "Ichigo, this man is Jūshirō Ukitake. He is Kiyone and Sentarō's father."

Ichigo immediately looked to Komamura and back to the stranger. Ukitake smiled gently.

"I hope you've been keeping my children company."

"Someone has to when they've been abandoned by their parents," Ichigo replied, his response coming out harsher than he had intended that even Komamura looked surprised. Realizing his error, Ichigo stammered an apology.

"It's alright," Ukitake sighed, "Mr. Komamura is right; you are very intelligent for your age- how old are you?"

"I'm twelve, sir."

"Ah! And so very polite as well," Ukitake nodded, "Ichigo, was it? I completely understand where you're coming from, but you should know that adults also have many of their own problems and sometimes we're not capable of doing what we think is best."

He patted Ichigo on the shoulder, "We're not perfect. In an ideal world, we would be, but this isn't an ideal world."

He gave Ichigo a moment to absorb what he had said, and the boy slowly nodded.

"Good! Then, since we're all clear on that, I'll just be on my way-"

"Not so fast Mr. Ukitake," Komamura interrupted his escape. "I would still like to know the purpose of your visit today."

"I'll be back some other time; you clearly look busy today-"

"I have all the time in the world," Komamura answered skeptically, "so go right ahead and explain yourself."

Ukitake gave a small laugh.

"I can't get past you, can I? Alright then, I came to see Kiyone and Sentarō."

"From their window?"

"I have good eyes?" Ukitake tried, and Ichigo grinned at the comment despite himself.

"I'm not going anywhere until you give me a _valid_ reason, Mr. Ukitake."

"Alright, alright, it's just that I'm afraid that they'll reject me, so I keep retreating and hope to at least watch them from afar," Ukitake looked downcast. "It _has_ been three years."

"Reject you?"

"Yes- I'm planning to ask them if they'd like to live with me."

Ichigo looked shocked, while Komamura gave the man a strange look before shaking his head in defeat.

"You had better come in."

.

Komamura made Ukitake sit in the living room, and went to wake Matsumoto. Ichigo stayed behind with Ukitake, still looking at the man suspiciously.

Ukitake smiled at the boy's obvious dislike of him.

"Is there something wrong, Ichigo?"

The boy grunted at being called by his name, but looked at the man passively.

"Why did you leave them here?"

"And by them," Ukitake sighed, "I suppose you mean Kiyone and Sentarō?"

Ichigo gave him a straightforward look.

"Like I said, Ichigo, there are many things adults want to do, but can't. I wanted to keep Kiyone and Sentarō with me, but my circumstance didn't permit m-"

"Excuses," Ichigo spoke in a low voice, "all you're doing is making excuses."

There was a heavy silence between them, before Ukitake shifted.

"Yes," Ukitake looked down to his hands, "I suppose I _am_ making excuses."

"Then, I won't let you take them! I won't give them away to someone like you," Ichigo growled, "someone so wishy washy can never make Kiyone and Sentarō happy!"

Ichigo had meant to go on longer with his angry tirade, when he felt Komamura's large hand cover his mouth.

"Calm yourself, Ichigo."

Matsumoto hurriedly came into the room.

"Jūshirō! What are you doing here?" She spoke worriedly, stepping to the older man, "did the hospital give you permission to leave?"

'Hospital?' Ichigo mouthed against Komamura's hand. The older man slowly took his hand back from the younger boy's mouth.

"Well, they told me to come back every other day but I can finally go home," Ukitake smiled tightly, "I was hoping that I could take Kiyone and Sentarō with me."

"Oh, Jūshirō! That's wonderful news! The twins will be overjoyed to hear that," Matsumoto smiled back brightly. She turned to Ichigo. "Ichigo, you haven't seen Mr. Ukitake before, have you? He's the twins' father. He regularly visits the orphanage to see Kiyone and Sentarō, but most of the time he's stuck in the hospital because of his heart complications."

She turned back to Jūshirō, "I'll go wake the twins now."

As she left, Komamura announced that he would prepare some tea for Ukitake and then go to prepare breakfast for the children. He walked out of the room to the kitchen, leaving Ichigo alone with Ukitake.

.

Ichigo looked embarrassed at his behaviour, looking down despondently with guilt. He looked up.

"I-I didn't mean-"

To his surprise, Ukitake merely raised a hand with a sad smile.

"It's alright, Ichigo. You were just worried about Kiyone and Sentarō, weren't you? That makes me happy."

"It's not alright," Ichigo spoke back stubbornly, and continued to not meet the man's eyes, "I hurt you, didn't I?"

"I'm not angry."

"You should be!"

Ichigo's sudden outburst made Ukitake look taken aback in surprise, and Ichigo looked conflicted but continued in a softer voice.

"You should be... adults always try to act like nothing hurts them. They try to look strong for children when they aren't. That's not what us children want- not what I want..."

Ichigo looked like he was close to crying.

"If adults continue hiding things and pretending, it's actually a lot more hurtful, y-you know? Because as children we can't tell what you're all thinking - we can never understand how you all feel and don't know how to comfort you...!"

Ichigo blinked in shock through his tears as Ukitake stood, strode to him, and hugged him.

"I'm sorry," the man murmured brokenly. "I'm sorry. You've seen a lot, haven't you? I'm sorry that we adults try to lie and hide ourselves away; we only want what's best for you. We only want to protect you, children."

"You don't have to try so hard," Ichigo sniffled. "We're not so weak that we need to be lied to over and over. You should just say it all and let us be sad together, rather than take all the unhappy things for yourself. We know sad things exist- you don't have to try so hard to protect us from everything."

Ukitake looked at the boy with something akin to tears in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're twelve? Somehow you seem so much older and wiser for your age."

"I read a lot."

Ukitake laughed at this, and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"Very well Ichigo, I won't pretend to be strong anymore- I will tell you everything."

He led Ichigo to the couch and sat down with the boy. He paused as if lost in nostalgia before speaking.

"I was always sick from birth, you see. But I wanted to see people and talk to them, so I decided to become a teacher. I went to Ms. Matsumoto's old high school as her substitute teacher, and there, I met Kiyone and Sentarō's mother."

He looked out of the window with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Her name was Isane. Even though I was much older than her, it was love at first sight for both of us. She confessed her love for me, and I told her that I would only accept her when she graduated. Once she did, we decided to get married. We had Kiyone and Sentarō and were very happy."

"But, I was stupid. I didn't want to tell her about my illness- I thought she would find me a burden if I did. So I kept quiet about it for years, until I finally had a heart attack."

He looked even more broken than before.

"It was a bad one, and the doctors didn't think I would make it. She was crying and yelling at me that I hadn't told her about how sick I really was. I wanted to tell her not to worry, I wanted to tell her that I didn't want her to cry anymore… "

"But what I ended up saying was the complete opposite. I didn't want her to mourn me; I wanted her to be able to move on more easily if I died because I loved her so much. So I told her that I never really loved her and that I wanted her out of my life."

"She was horrified, and she fled the room. Several days later, I made a miraculous recovery. I went rushing out to find Isane, to only find her mother. She slapped me hard and told me that she would never let me see her daughter again. She handed me the divorce papers that Isane had already signed. No matter how much I tried to contact her, I couldn't get to Isane. When I finally did, the only words she said to me were 'the kids are yours now' and hung up."

"I was still in the hospital, and I consistently had a series of heart problems. I couldn't look after Kiyone and Sentarō like that- after all, they were only two years old. And I just couldn't bear to let them see me on the bed lying helplessly."

"So you sent them away," Ichigo finished.

"That's right. I knew Ms. Matsumoto worked in an orphanage in Karakura and took the children to her. I promised the children that I'd be back when I was okay. But my illness was more complicated than that and took over three years to disperse. I was sent into a private hospital by my family and lived there for the past three years, and I've thought of nothing but my children."

"And now?"

"I'm still not cured, but I'm feeling much better and the doctors told me that I could go home."

"No, I mean, what are you thinking of now?" Ichigo clarified. "Are you still thinking of your children?"

"Ichigo, there hasn't been a day since I haven't missed Kiyone and Sentarō," Ukitake closed his eyes. "Not a single day."

.

There was a silence in the room. Ichigo was quiet, and lightly patted the man's hand.

"Is this pity?" Ukitake smiled wryly.

"It's approval," Ichigo shook his head, "Kiyone and Sentarō- I approve of you to take them."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Ichigo nodded, "and before you ask, I claim the right to approve because those two are my precious friends- and they're my precious little brother and little sister."

Ukitake looked shocked before realizing that Ichigo was shuddering with unshed tears again.

"Ichigo..."

"Daddy!" Twin voices called gleefully, and Kiyone and Sentarō ran to their father's open arms.

"Kiyone, Sentarō, it's good to see you both again," Ukitake kissed his children's foreheads as they both climbed into his lap.

"How long are ya gonna stay today, Daddy? Kiyo wanna show you a flow'r Kiyo found in the yard!"

"S'not a flow'r, Snowy says it's a weed!"

"Is not, Sen!"

"Is too, Kiyo!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

Suddenly, Kiyone turned her head to look behind Sentarō. Sentarō turned his head as well.

"Ichi? Ar' ya cryin'?"

Ichigo looked up startled, and shook his head.

"I'm just fine," he smiled. The twins accepted this and turned back to their father. Ukitake looked to Ichigo with sadness, as he had noticed the boy's smile being forced.

"So Daddy, will ya stay the day with us?"

"Oh, say yes, Daddy!"

"Well actually, Daddy came today for an important reason."

Matsumoto walked in with papers in her hand.

"Have you asked them yet?" Matsumoto looked from her old teacher to the kids, the latter who gazed at her curiously.

"I haven't asked them- but I was just about to though," Ukitake held his children tighter.

"Ask'd us what?" The twins repeated to their father.

Ichigo watched as Ukitake took a deep breath.

"Kiyone, Sentarō, I want to take you two home with me. I promised, didn't I?"

The twins looked at him with wide eyes, and Ichigo watched as the man trembled a bit as if in fear of being rejected.

"Oh good!" Kiyone spoke first.

"Tha' means Daddy's all better," Sentarō nodded.

"You kids... aren't mad that it took so long? That _I_ took so long?"

The twins shook their heads.

"We miss'd Daddy..."

"But we knows tha' Daddy wou' come for us."

Ukitake held his children to his chest tightly, and Ichigo looked away as tears began streaming down Ukitake's cheeks.

"Oh dear," Matsumoto shook her head but was smiling and also looking teary-eyed.

"I missed you children... _so much_," Ukitake spoke, his voice controlled to not show the overwhelming emotion he felt.

"We knows Daddy, 'cause we luff Daddy!"

"And we knows tha' Daddy luffs us too!"

"I do... I love you two very much. Very, very much."

Komamura then entered the room with a tray of tea, not outwardly reacting to the emotional scene he had walked on. He put the tray down on the centre table in front of Ukitake. He poured tea for Ukitake, and from his sleeve, he took out two colourfully wrapped candies and placed them on a dish and left it in front of the children.

"Candy!" Both five-year olds gasped to each other, and both waited until Komamura had walked away to reach for their treats.

Ukitake cleared his throat loudly, and the children gave a guilty glance and shouted, "Thank you very much!"

Komamura turned his head and nodded, and returned to the kitchen. He gave Ichigo a look before he left, and Ichigo knew that the other man had wanted him to follow.

As Matsumoto began explaining some papers to Ukitake, Ichigo wordlessly slipped out of the room and followed Komamura.

.

"What is it, Sa-Ko?"

"Are you okay?" Komamura asked, tilting his head down to stare at the boy.

"Y-Yeah. It was just a shock after losing Renji-"

"Ichigo, you never 'lost' Renji," Komamura shook his head.

"I know, I know. Renji never belonged to us in the first place- he belongs to wherever he's happiest... but still..."

"Ichigo," Komamura put a hand on Ichigo's back, "I was about to say that you've never lost Renji because as long as you remember him, you two will be friends. As long as you remember even a single memory of Renji, or the twins, they'll never be truly lost to you."

"How do you know?" Ichigo asked with a sorrowful tone.

"Because I also have a friend that I can never see again, but I have my memories of him and that is enough to make me happy. That is enough for me to call him my friend."

"Can't you visit your friend, Sa-Ko?"

Komamura laughed deeply at that.

"I suppose I will meet him someday, but I hope it is not soon."

Ichigo looked confused, but Komamura said nothing further and went back to his work. Ichigo, seeing that Komamura was busily preparing breakfast, sighed and decided not to bother the man with his needless questions.

"Soi Fon isn't going to like this..." Ichigo murmured, taking a seat at the kitchen table. The little girl's vow of change never crossing paths with her again had already been broken.

As Ichigo grew increasingly concerned for Soi Fon, the kids came down bustling.

"Eme'gn'cy!" Rukia cried.

"We can't find Kiyo and Sen upstairs," Byakuya reiterated what his sister meant.

"Usu'lly, me and Ru wake 'em up," Soi Fon spoke worriedly.

"They're pwobly downstaiwrs," Kenpachi shrugged.

"But Kiyo and Sen always take forev'r to wake up," Tōshirō pointed out.

"So? They coulda gwotten up eawrly."

Matsumoto strode in with papers and a pen in her hand.

"Good morning, children."

They all greeted her back, before relaying their problem to her.

"Kiyone and Sentarō? Not to worry, they're in the living room."

The children froze, knowing what that meant.

"A-Are Kiyo and Sen leaving?" Tōshirō spoke first, his voice hesitant.

Matsumoto nodded.

They all immediately turned to look at Soi Fon, who face had been changing from disbelief to a crushing grief, and she ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Soi Fon-?!"

They all heard a door slam. Matsumoto sighed.

"Ichigo," Matsumoto started, "I'll put you in charge of gathering Kiyone and Sentarō's things, alright?"

Ichigo nodded in assent, and Matsumoto returned to the living room talking about a form or the like.

The children ate their breakfast quietly, the silence only broken by Komamura's clattering in the kitchen or by Rukia's sniffles. Even as Tōshirō held his hand, Ichigo still felt alone and listless; Ichigo ate quickly, and got up to complete the task given to him by Matsumoto.

"Wait, Ichigo," Tōshirō called as he hopped off his chair. "I'll help you."

Ichigo smiled at the boy gratefully, as they exited the kitchen.

.

The two boys climbed up the stairs. They did so slowly and in their own thoughts.

Suddenly, Ichigo turned his head to the wall and took note of the drawings hanging there, that he had first noticed on his very earliest day of his arrival to the orphanage.

"Tōshirō, what's with these drawings?"

"These? We made 'em, when Yoru came over a year ago," Tōshirō replied, carefully mentioning Shihōin 's name around the orange-haired boy. "She told us to draw what we saw ourselves as."

"Who drew the bee?"

"That was Soi Fon," Tōshirō smiled lightly, "she said she was cute to look at but she could sting too."

"And the snake? With... the bones?"

"That was Renji. He said something about seeing it in a dream before and thought it looked cool, and he wanted to be just as cool. The picture with the pink flowers and the samurai is Byakuya's because he said he wanted to be a Japanese samurai and protect Rukia. And that's-"

"This one... is yours isn't it? It's so beautiful." Ichigo delicately touched the picture of the dragon drawn in pencil.

Tōshirō hadn't answered so Ichigo turned to look at the boy.

"Was I wro-?" And to Ichigo's surprise, Tōshirō had a pretty blush on his tanned cheeks.

"N-No, y-you aren't wrong," the younger boy spoke with a stammer which made him even more embarrassed.

"What is it? Are you shy about your drawings?"

"D-Doesn't it seem a bit weird? Drawing myself as a dragon? I don't mean to be a show-off but-"

"Tōshirō," Ichigo gently interrupted, "I see no differences between you and this dragon. Both of you are strong, and both of you are beautif-"

Tōshirō clapped a hand over Ichigo's mouth, who noted that it was happening to him more often as of late- first Komamura and now Tōshirō wanted to physically stop him from talking. He thought that maybe he ought to choose his words more carefully.

"Ichigo, don't you dare say it. If you say it, I will _hurt you_," Tōshirō was saying, but the way he was completely flushed didn't make a strong point for his threat. Ichigo laughed into Tōshirō's hand which made the boy jump a bit and retract his hand quickly.

Ichigo took Tōshirō's retreating hand in his own, and felt much better than he had been downstairs. He wondered why being with Tōshirō seemed to have such a powerful effect on his feelings.

Tōshirō looked behind them to make sure none of their friends were coming up the stairs, and let Ichigo walk him up the stairs holding his hand. They walked to the room Renji had shared with Sentarō and Kenpachi. Now only one bed would end up being used in the room.

Tōshirō held onto Ichigo's hand tightly for a second before letting go.

They began packing away the toys and drawings on Sentarō's bed, and the clothes in his closet. It didn't take long for them to finish, and they exited the room, closing the door behind them.

Both couldn't bear to look at the room which had been so lively, become so sparse in a matter of days.

"Now we have to get Kiyone's things," Ichigo spoke, breaking the silence. Tōshirō nodded.

They headed to the girls' room. It was closed, and both boys had a sneaking suspicion that Soi Fon was inside. They knocked on the door. When there was no answer, Ichigo turned the doorknob and entered with Tōshirō warily following behind him.

In the very furthest bed, they could see a shape that was distinctly Soi Fon, balled up in her blankets.

Ichigo looked at her sympathetically, before he walked to Kiyone's bed and began packing her things. Tōshirō shuffled over to him, and began helping him, with looks of pity at the girl who he could hear sobbing softly.

When they were done, both Ichigo and Tōshirō stood but looked at each other with a troubled gaze. They didn't want to leave Soi Fon like this.

Setting the bags in his arms down, Ichigo made his way to the crying girl and lay a hand at her back and rubbed at it soothingly. Soi Fon ripped off the blankets over her, and held onto Ichigo tightly as she cried.

Tōshirō, unsure of what to do, also put the bags he carried down to sit on Soi Fon's opposite side and he stroked her hair.

"S'not fair! S'not fair!" Soi Fon spoke through sobs.

"It'll be okay, Soi," Tōshirō continued to untangle the girl's hair with nimble fingers, "remember what Rangiku said? We've gotta send our friends off with a smile."

"I can't, can't," the girl cried harder.

"Soi, do you know," Tōshirō started, "that I have been here for seven years at the orphanage?"

Ichigo stared at Tōshirō with wide eyes, immediately understanding as to why the boy wanted to hide his past so badly.

"Bu' I thou' you wer' sev'n, 'Shirō?" Soi Fon turned her head to him, her face looking reddened with tears.

"I am, Soi. I've spent my entire life in this orphanage," Tōshirō continued softly, "An' I've seen a lot of my friends leave this place- the people who lived here before you. They're all gone Soi, and I've had to watch them go."

"Weren' ya sad?" Soi Fon looked awed, and had stopped crying.

"I was, for a long time I was, but then I was also happy that my friends had found families. I was happy when my friends were happy," Tōshirō seemed to be remembering something of the past with a fond smile, "Ikkaku and Yumichika and Nanao, they're all gone now but they're still my friends."

"Tōshirō's right," Ichigo finally found his voice, "even though our friends are leaving, we should be happy for them and wish them luck. Someday, you'll have to leave too and you'll have a wonderful family."

"Nuh-uh, I won' leave," Soi Fon looked up to Ichigo's face, " 'cause then Ichi wou' be lonely, right? Like this mornin'?"

Ichigo felt shocked that the six-year old girl could be so perceptive.

"Don't worry Soi," Tōshirō reached over to place a hand over Ichigo's, "I won't let him be alone again. I won't let him feel lonely."

Ichigo jerked his head up to see Tōshirō's eyes unusually blazing in determination.

"Bu' don' you wan' ta leave with yer own family, Snowy?"

Tōshirō shook his head, "I would love to be adopted, Soi Fon. Having a family is one of the best things in the world, but the person I'm waiting for might never come. I've waited for the last seven years for her."

"She'll come!" Soi Fon suddenly looked fierce. "Ya gotta beli've she'll come!"

Tōshirō looked surprised before smiling. He took a page out of Ichigo's book and he kissed the girl's cheek.

"Thanks Soi."

Soi Fon's cheeks turned pink, but she nodded shyly.

"C'mon," Tōshirō stood from the bed and held out his hand. "Let's go tell Kiyo and Sen that we hope they'll be happy forever."

Soi Fon timidly took Tōshirō's hand, and Tōshirō smiled at her gently. He looked to Ichigo who nodded. The boys picked up the bags of the twins' things and walked out with Soi Fon in tow.

.

When it was time for the twins to go, Soi Fon put on her sunniest smile and wished them luck. Rukia, upset but seeing her friend making such an effort, also smiled.

The twins were not oblivious to the heartache their friends hid, and hugged all of them, promising to bring snacks and goodies on their next visit.

Ukitake looked right at Ichigo as he left with the twins.

"I'll take care of them."

"I know you will," Ichigo replied.

Then they were all gone, and Komamura was shutting the door behind them.

The kids, as per tradition, climbed up the stairs and to the window where they saw Kiyone and Sentarō wave at them with both hands and climb into their father's car and drive off.

Slowly, the children found each other's hands and formed a chain, finding comfort in each other. They knew it was temporary, but still sought to be supported by one another as they held each other's hands.

The rest of the passed quickly and quietly, and thus ended another day in Karakura Orphanage.


	11. Truths

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Welcome back to WtKO. It's a shorter chapter, but the next chapter won't be too far off. Before I leave you to your reading, I'd like to deal with a concern. I've labelled this with Ichigo and Tōshirō, but this does not mean they will end in romance and I really can't stress this enough. That's not the point of this story- this story specializes in drama. Yes, there is _fanservice _as mentioned_, _but it is only an aspect. Their closeness will be explained. With that said, thank you for all of your supportive comments! Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

"Congratulations on graduating!"

Rangiku, Retsu, Yoruichi, and Masaki clapped loudly for Kaien, as he cut the cake Masaki had made for him.

"Hey loverboy, you'd better thank 'Saki! She spent all night making your cake!"

"Ran!" Masaki blushed, shoving her friend's shoulder lightly.

"Thanks 'Saki," Kaien smiled before softly kissing her.

"Aww," Rangiku squealed, and Retsu was smiling brightly at the scene. Only Yoruichi seemed to sit quietly, a flash setting off in her eyes as she watched the two lovers interact.

Sajin came in with the presents.

"Thanks dude," Kaien grinned.

"These are all from the girls," Sajin shrugged.

"But Sajin made you a feast," Masaki giggled.

"Oh man, can't wait for that! I love your cooking the most, Sajin!"

"Don't say things like that in front of your girlfriend, Kaien," Sajin rolled his eyes.

"Whhhy? It's true- I would marry you for your food if I didn't have 'Saki!"

Sajin whacked his best friend on the head and muttered 'idiot'.

Masaki laughed at the scene she was well-used to.

"This one is from me!" Rangiku opened the gift for Kaien and showed it to be a flashy Hawaiian shirt. "It's for when you and 'Saki go on your honeymoon."

"Ran," Masaki hid her red face in her hands.

"Thanks Rangiku, I'll be sure to wear it then."

Masaki looked up at her boyfriend who gave her a teasing smile, and she huffed. He kissed her cheek reassuringly, before opening another present.

"Is this book from you, Retsu?"

"Yes," Retsu nodded, "it's to help you in college. It'll be useful in your major."

"Wow, thanks Retsu! That's one less textbook to buy in the first semester," Kaien carefully put the heavy book back in the wrapping paper.

"And this one is...?" Kaien picked up a little box.

Yoruichi's dark cheeks flushed slightly, "That one is from me."

Kaien tore the wrapping paper off to find a pretty pink shell in clear paper. He held it up and looked at it curiously.

"I-It's from my hometown," Yoruichi quickly added. "They're famous over there-"

"Ah! I know about these," Kaien held it up to his ear while closing his eyes. "I was right! You can hear the ocean in it."

"Y-Yeah, t-they're really popular with tourists and I had one lying around..."

"Thanks Yoruichi," Kaien gave the stuttering girl a smile, "I'll treasure it."

The girl looked at Kaien for a long moment, before she nodded brusquely and looked away faintly embarrassed. Rangiku and Retsu both gave Yoruichi a meaningful look, but the other girl ignored them. Masaki remained oblivious.

After the food had been eaten, and the party was winding down, they all began getting ready to leave. They stood in a group at Kaien's apartment's doorway saying their goodbyes.

"See you later, Kaien," Komamura nodded, "remember, I put the leftovers in your fridge. Eat them by tomorrow. Anything else is in the freezer, and you can defrost it and eat it later, but finish it before the next week."

"Yes mother," Kaien nodded, and gave a salute. His friend made a weak attempt to hit him again much to his amusement. "Sorry, sorry, I got it. Thanks Sajin."

Sajin patted his back. He nodded at Masaki, giving her a small smile and left.

"We'll be leaving now too," Retsu spoke up, as Rangiku and Yoruichi put on their coats. "Congratulations again on your graduation, Kaien."

"Thanks Retsu, I had fun today with all of you guys. Thanks for everything."

"Ah, wait! I'm not ready," Masaki called, pulling on a boot but unable to find her other one.

"Oh, the girls didn't tell you? Masaki, you're sleeping over here today," Kaien hugged his girlfriend from behind. Masaki turned several shades of red.

"B-But, Kaien m-my parents-"

"-Think you'll be staying with us," Rangiku grinned like a Cheshire cat, as she linked arms with Retsu and Yoruichi. "Have fun tonight, Masaki!"

Yoruichi looked at Kaien with something akin to longing in her eyes, but she let Rangiku pull her forward and out the door.

"G-Guys!"

Rangiku answered Masaki's plea with a scheming grin, and threw her friend an obscene wink over her shoulder.

Kaien closed the door, and gently took Masaki in his arms.

"It's okay if you want to go home 'Saki, I won't tell."

Masaki slowly shook her head and shyly held onto Kaien's shirt, "I want to stay with you."

The smile Kaien gave her in reply was absolutely dazzling.

As they lay in bed later that night, feelings intertwined and both enjoying the aftermath of their shared warmth, Masaki cuddled into Kaien as if he would disappear from her grasp.

"What is it, Masaki?" Kaien tenderly looked down at the girl in his arms.

"We won't see each other again after you go to college," she whispered in a sad voice. "You'll be so far away."

"We won't see each other often, but I'll keep touch 'Saki. I'll call you every day."

"I'll miss you, Kaien..."

"And I'll miss you too, because I love you, Masaki."

"Kaien..."

"C'mon, don't be sad," Kaien tickled his girlfriend's sides who shrieked in laughter, "ahh, there's the smile I fell for."

"Kaien!" Masaki laughed, her arms pushing at Kaien's.

Suddenly, Kaien stopped, and she looked up to Kaien's face. The boy looked at her softly before leaning down to kiss her. She returned the kiss, and they were lost again in their little world.

.

When Ichigo next awoke, it was the middle of the night. Both Tōshirō and Byakuya were sleeping peacefully.

He looked frustrated, trying to sleep but unable to. He climbed out of bed, and decided to take a walk.

He stepped into the dark hallway, and passed the girls' room. The room where Kenpachi now slept alone without Renji or Sentarō was slightly ajar, and as Ichigo passed it, he couldn't help but look inside due to his growing reminiscence.

His eyes widened, as Kenpachi was sitting idly at the foot of his bed. He was looking out a window towards the sky, and was bathed in moonlight. He was touching the eyepatch over his right eye lightly, as if in deep thought.

"Ken, are you okay?" Ichigo whispered, walking into the room, a floorboard creaking as he walked in.

Kenpachi shrugged, not looking at Ichigo.

"Just thinkin'."

Ichigo sat next to Kenpachi.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I want Yachiwu to be pawrt of a family too, Ichi," Kenpachi started quietly.

"She will, someday she will. You can't give up on it, Ken."

"I knows that. I knows," Kenpachi turned to Ichigo. "But I don' want a family. So I was thinkin' abouwt how som'day I would hafta say goodbye to Yachiwu."

"But why?" Ichigo managed to utter. "Why don't you want a family?"

Kenpachi was silent and he stood up.

"I think," the younger boy said, "I wants some water. Wanna go downstairs with me?"

Ichigo noted that Kenpachi had evaded the subject, but still nodded as he followed the six-year old out to the hall.

They climbed downstairs and crept towards the kitchen. Surprisingly, the lights were on and both boys paused outside at the wall.

.

"He asked you _what_?" Matsumoto was saying in a low voice, a glass clinked as she set it down.

"Please stop drinking, supervisor," Komamura's exasperated voice answered her; "you're supposed to be happy that the children are finding their own families and homes."

"Don't give me that, Sajin. I know you were attached to Renji and the twins too."

"Matsumoto, we've gone through this countless times. Why is it that you still refuse to change even after so many children have left the orphanage?"

"I miss every one of 'em," Matsumoto replied. "Every single one."

"I heard Ikkaku and Yumichika wanted to visit. Will they be coming?"

"No, I told their new guardian that it would be better if they didn't visit. It's better for them not to come back to an orphanage at all, especially when they already have loving homes. It's not exactly a place you want to be at."

"Or could it be that you're just worried about young Tōshirō?" Komamura asked slowly.

Kenpachi saw Ichigo shift next to him to listen more closely as Tōshirō was mentioned.

"That's part of it," Matsumoto sighed, "for his two best friends to be adopted by the same person, and just so soon after Nanao was adopted, he must have been so lonely. He was all alone in the orphanage until Kenpachi and Yachiru finally came along."

"You think he'll be hurt seeing his friends happy?"

"No, but I know that he'll be hurt seeing them leave him again. Though the stubborn boy refuses to show it," Matsumoto sipped loudly. "If only Miyako would just come to her senses."

"She will never forgive Kaien, not even now. Not even for Tōshirō's sake."

Ichigo froze and turned white as the forbidden name was mentioned again. Kenpachi looked at him with worry, but both continued to listen in without a sound.

"You said that Ichigo was asking about Kaien?" Matsumoto suddenly spoke, returning to their initial conversation. "You didn't tell him anything, did you?"

"I didn't."

"Good. He's just too young, too innocent," Matsumoto heaved a shuddering breath.

"Rangiku, the boy is stronger than you think," Komamura spoke as he put a plate from the dishwasher to the cabinet.

"He's only a kid, Sajin. How can I tell him that because of him... Kaien was..."

"Now you're talking like Yoruichi. But I guess she shouldn't be fully blamed, since she loved Kaien so much."

"Yoru cried for days when she found out that Kaien was dead," Matsumoto sighed sadly. "Maybe she felt like Kaien had been snatched away from her. She knew she had no chance with him against Masaki or when he was married. She had waited so long to tell him about her feelings, and he had just begun to accept her too."

"Either way, Kaien's death was not Ichigo's fault. It was... a matter of unfortunate circumstances."

"I know, all the psychiatrists said it- he hadn't meant to stab Kaien. After all, they were the perfect father and son. But in the end, it doesn't change the fact that Ichigo killed him. I don't think he'll ever be able to forgive himself if he remembers..."

.

Ichigo began to shake uncontrollably, and he felt Kenpachi take his hand and drag him away back upstairs. Kenpachi led Ichigo back to the empty boys' room, and sat Ichigo down on a bed.

"Ichi," Kenpachi tried.

Ichigo was trembling harder and harder.

"Ichi, look at me," Kenpachi insisted, turning the older boy's head forcibly towards him. He gasped as he saw Ichigo's eyes were dilated, and an animalistic look of panic and fear were in them.

"Ichi, calm down."

Ichigo shook his head, still looking about himself frantically as if he expected the ghost of Kaien to rise from the floorboards and accuse him of murder.

"Don' worry, it's okay," Kenpachi held Ichigo's hand tightly. "It's okay if you killed som'one."

Ichigo's head whipped towards Kenpachi in disbelief and pulled his hand away, still shaking like a leaf. He stood from the bed, but as he took a few steps, he crumpled to the floor.

"Ichi!"

Kenpachi got down on the floor, and held the older boy's head to his chest. Ichigo's hands clenched and unclenched the carpet under them.

"I-I'm a k-killer?"

"Ichi, it's okay."

"S-Someone d-died b-because of me?"

"Then two peopwle died 'cause of me Ichi, 'cause I kiwlled m'parents."

Ichigo looked up to see the younger boy's face to see if that was a joke in highly poor taste, but Kenpachi's face was solemn and serious.

"It happened a yeawr ago, Ichi. You're the firstest person I'm gonna tell this to, but keep this secwret okay?"

Ichigo merely stared at Kenpachi mutely.

Kenpachi pointed to his eye with the eyepatch, "D'you see this, Ichi?"

Ichigo nodded numbly.

"M'Mom did this," Kenpachi slowly took off his eyepatch from his right eye, and for the first time Ichigo saw the younger boy's face without his eyepatch obstructing half of his face. "You're th'second kid to see this eye- only Snowy and the adults see'd this eye befowre."

Kenpachi's right eye was utterly marred and ugly, and it visibly frightened Ichigo as Kenpachi's entire right eyeball had been gouged out.

"M'Mom and m'Dad always huwrt me. When my firstest Dad went away, my new Dad that Mom brouwght huwrted me even more. I didn't care 'cause they was m'Mom and Dad. But when Yachiwu was bowrn, I wanted to pwotect her. I didn't want them to huwrt her."

Kenpachi let his eyepatch fall from his hand and land gently on the floor.

"So I kiwlled them. One day, I wented and brwoked som'thin' in m'Mom and Dad's car all by myself."

Ichigo had stopped shaking but was looking at Kenpachi with horrified eyes, as if not understanding just what exactly was coming out of the six-year old's mouth.

"I gwuess I didn't mean to kiwll them, maybe huwrt them. But I didn't regwret it, Ichi. When I heawrd they was gone 'cause the car bwroke and cwrashed, I cwried. The adults was thinkin' I was sad, but I was happy, 'cause I saved Yachiwu."

"Then, me and Yachiwu came hewre to live with Rangiku and Sa-Ko and Snowy."

Ichigo was still shocked, not knowing how to react when the six-year old across from him had essentially told the story of him murdering his own parents.

"Y-You didn't tell anyone what you did? T-To the car, I mean?"

Kenpachi shook his head.

"You're the only one I telled now."

"W-Why?"

"It's 'cause I knows your secwret, and now you knows mine. That's why I don' wants a family- I don' deserves one."

Ichigo found himself staring at the boy again. He didn't know what to say and definitely didn't know how to feel.

"D-Does it hurt?"

Ichigo ghosted his hand over Kenpachi's injured eye.

"Not so much... as it used to," Kenpachi let his face lean to Ichigo's hand, and raised his own hand to keep Ichigo's in place.

The boys didn't say anything but sat there in the same position for a while.

.

"Ken, the thing is," Ichigo started weakly, "I don't remember... k-killing anyone. I can't remember a lot of things. The social workers and doctors around me tell me that I'm missing some of my memories, but I don't know which."

Ichigo let his hand fall from Kenpachi's face, but the younger boy still let their hands be loosely linked.

"No one tells me anything, but I can hear it in their whispers," Ichigo continued, "I can't even remember h-how my family died. Or what happened to me after that. I can't remember a lot of my childhood either."

Kenpachi stayed quiet, but spoke up here.

"Ichi, d'you remember what Snowy said about Ren? That Ren nevewr shows it when he's sad, because he's escapin'," Kenpachi looked at Ichigo, "do you thinks you might be escapin' too?"

Ichigo looked puzzled, but it would make sense. _Had_ he pushed away his memories himself? And why?

"I-I don't know, Ken. But what I do know is I don't remember k-killing anyone."

"Then that's that," Kenpachi concluded. "If you can't remember, Ichi, then you hadn't done it."

"Is it really that simple?"

"If you wants it to be simple, it will be. If you wanna find the truwth if you really done it, then it'll be up to you, Ichi. But d'you really wanna know? D'you really wanna remember? I can live with the truwth 'cause I did it for Yachiwu, but can you be the same after?"

"It might hurt," Ichigo answered with difficulty, "but I want to know. Everything I've forgotten- I need to know."

"Then, I'll help you," Kenpachi nodded.

The rest of the night, Kenpachi tried to help Ichigo sort through his memories, but Ichigo could only remember hazy renditions of things that happened to him. Most of his memory remained largely a blank.

"What about your sis?"

"Yuzu and Karin? They were precious to me and they both spoiled me. Yuzu made me delicious treats and Karin would take me out to play in the park every day."

"And your Mom and Dad?"

"Mom was really kind and gentle. She loved us all and always made sure that we were happy. Dad was a bit... energetic. He loved us a lot though."

Ichigo had a strained expression on his face as he continued.

"And I can't remember who he was, but there was someone else who looked after me after my family died."

"How'd they die?"

Ichigo took a sharp inhale.

"They... died because..." Ichigo tried to formulate, but he couldn't remember. It was just a big blank.

"Ichi, are you okay?" The worry in Kenpachi's voice made Ichigo raise his head. Ichigo realized that he was crying. Kenpachi patted Ichigo's back a bit awkwardly, as he hadn't seen the boy cry before.

"I don't remember them dying, but I remember not being able to protect them," Ichigo continued to weep, "I don't know what happened, but I just know that it was my fault."

"Don' say that," Kenpachi immediately denied, "unless you remember, don' say somethin' so hurtful towards yourself."

Ichigo nodded, but continued talking about all the happy times he had gone through with his family. Bits and pieces of his memories were sneaking back to Ichigo. He remembered that his mother's hair had not always been long and had been a short hairstyle when he was much younger. He remembered that they lived in Karakura but then suddenly moved away. He remembered colours that blended together in a dark alley somewhere...

And most of all, he faintly remembered a man who looked like him. The man had sometimes looked utterly depressed, but had always called his name with love and happiness. _Ichigo_...

Rallying Ichigo's memories all night, both Kenpachi and Ichigo fell asleep sitting against the bed, leaning on each other, as the dawn began breaking in the violet sky.


	12. Origins

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **WtKO has officially reached 50,000 words! Thank you everyone for reading so far, we're nearly at the halfway point. In this chapter, we learn more about Ichigo's origins. Your feedback/comments are much appreciated and rest assured that they are read. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Lastly, please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Komamura knew he was dreaming again because he was with Masaki.

It was different from a regular dream, and he felt as if Masaki was channeling herself and her feelings through him, to make him see how she had felt so long ago.

How he wished he could have helped things go differently between the girl and Kaien, and how he wished to make some change so the two lovers could have remained happy together forever- but it was just not to be.

"Masaki?"

Sajin looked with some surprise as Masaki was slouched onto a table in the dim lounge. She looked up as she heard him call her name.

"Ah, Sajin! It's been a while."

"Indeed it has," Sajin spoke, carefully trying to pretend that he hadn't noticed that the girl had been crying. "What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"No one has time to keep me company," Masaki laughed, her eyes still swollen with the tears she had shed. "Ran has been spending a lot of time with her boyfriend, and is working on her papers to go abroad to study soon. Retsu is studying hard to enter a medical college outside of the city too, so she can become a doctor. Yoruichi went back to her hometown for the time being. I'm all alone."

"That's not true," Sajin sat across from the girl, "what about Kaien?"

Suddenly, tears began to build up in her eyes again.

"Masaki?"

"Ah, no," she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I know Kaien must've been busy these past months, and that's why he hasn't talked to me."

"When was the last time he called?"

Masaki bit her lip and looked down as she answered.

"Two months ago. B-But I'm sure he must be busy that he can't reply to my calls and texts."

"I'll talk to him-"

"N-No! Th-That's okay. I know college life is tough, so he must be working hard too," Masaki defended Kaien immediately, but then she looked completely miserable as she continued. "He called every day when he got there, but then the calls became fewer and fewer, and then we only texted. But now, he doesn't even reply to my texts."

She looked at her hands in sorrow.

"He didn't even call when I graduated from high school last month with the other girls- I mean he texted me but I still felt so far away from him. I know I shouldn't complain Sajin, I know he's busy, but... but I still feel really lonely."

"Long-distance relationships are tough," Sajin nodded his head, not really knowing what else to comfort the girl with. He felt an acute disapproval towards Kaien though, and decided to try and get a hold of his friend and tell him to visit sometime for Masaki's sake.

"Long-distance relationships also don't last long," another voice spoke.

Both Sajin and Masaki turned to see Rangiku's boyfriend approaching them.

"Please don't say that, Gin," Masaki replied in both partial anger and partial hopelessness. "Kaien is just busy-"

"Busy with some other chick?"

Masaki's mouth fell open, "Th-That's a lie!"

"Is it? How are you going to verify it? How do you know he isn't with some other girl as we speak?"

Masaki wanted to believe in Kaien, she really did, but the way Kaien had shut her out had led her to similar doubts. She had always tried to deny such thoughts, but now as Gin threw them out into the open, her mind ended up in total disarray.

Seeing his friend being provoked into chaos, Sajin stood.

"I suggest you leave for now," he said firmly.

"And what if I refuse?" Gin spoke back evenly.

Just at that moment, the door to the lounge opened again.

"Saaajin! Me and my lovely daughters are here!" Isshin chirped loudly.

Gin gave the loud man a dirty look, before turning to leave Sajin and Masaki behind. Masaki's shoulders deflated in relief as the silver-haired man left.

"Isshin, sit down for a second with Masaki. I have to make a call."

Isshin took a seat at Sajin and Masaki's table, and did as he was told in confusion. Karin was sleeping in her baby carrier and Yuzu sat in her father's lap, smiling as she recalled Masaki.

"O-Oh, Masaki! You're here too? That's great! Are you here for the coff-"

Isshin froze.

"A-Are you crying?"

Sajin shook his head at Isshin for mentioning what he had so carefully tried _not_ to mention, but to his surprise, Masaki merely laughed. Sajin felt assured that he could leave Isshin to take care of Masaki, as he walked to a more solitary corner of the lounge to talk on his phone.

"It's not crying; it's my heart being sweaty!" Masaki replied, cheered up by the rowdy father and his adorable daughters.

Yuzu's eyes widened at this, as the eleven-year old placed a hand on her own heart. She went to sit by Masaki. "Is that true?"

At her childlike curiosity, Masaki laughed melodically, and began regaling Yuzu with an impromptu fairytale about the heart and just how sweaty hearts meant tears.

Isshin looked with worry at Masaki, and dug a handkerchief out of his pocket and slid it over to her.

She looked surprised and gave Isshin a warm look.

Masaki picked it up and held it to her face, and giggled, "This smells like baby powder."

"A-Ah, that's 'cause of Karin! I can find a different tissue if you wan-"

Masaki cut Isshin's rambling off with a shake of her head.

"No, I quite like this smell," Masaki spoke softly.

Isshin looked entranced by the girl, and before he realized what he was saying, he uttered, "And I quite like you."

Masaki looked shocked for a second, before her cheeks turned red. At seeing how embarrassed he had made the girl, Isshin waved his arms wildly.

"Th-That's not what I mean- well, it's kinda what I mean- but I-"

Masaki gave a giggle again, and her cheeks still held her blush.

"Thank you," she replied simply.

Isshin nodded at the lovely girl and wished he could make all of her sadness go away.

Sajin returned from his call and walked over to them, and Isshin was grateful that the older man hadn't heard his clumsy confession.

"Masaki, I have good news," Sajin spoke with a small smile, "Kaien is coming to visit this weekend."

Isshin watched with a pain in his heart, as the girl's face changed instantly to blossom into a delighted smile.

"Thank you, Sajin! You're the best! I- oh no, I have to get ready!" She stood up and Sajin waved at her to sit down.

"Masaki, he won't be here for another three days," Sajin spoke dryly.

"Even so! I have to get some new clothes and matching shoes, and I'll buy all of his favourite foods and- you'll help me with the cooking, won't you?"

At Sajin's nod, Masaki gave a small squeal of joy.

"We'll have a welcoming back party for Kaien! I'll call Ran and Retsu, and Yoru too!" Masaki planned cheerfully, she turned to Isshin, "Of course, you and the girls must come as well!"

"O-Okay, we'll be there!" Isshin grinned.

"Great! You know the address to Kaien's apartment, right? I have his key, so we'll surprise him right when he gets home!"

"His bus will be here at noon on Saturday, so that's when we'll meet up," Sajin typed it out on his phone. "Masaki, I'll come over a few hours early to help you with the cooking."

"Alright, I'll go invite everyone," Masaki smiled as she slid out of her seat. She kissed Yuzu's nose and a sleeping Karin's forehead. "I'll see you all on Saturday!"

She left in a whirlwind of happiness, and Isshin watched her as she left.

"Thanks Sajin."

"What for?"

As if remembering something, Isshin turned to Sajin with his usual foolish grin.

"For making her happy, duuuh! Anyone okay with Yuzu and Karin is okay with me! Speaking of my Yuzu and Karin, they had their first sibling quarrel yesterday over a teddy bear- I video-taped the whooole thing. You gotta come over and watch it with me sometime..."

As the man continued babbling, Sajin sighed and tuned him out.

Though inwardly, he was also happy for Masaki to finally smile from the bottom of her heart again. Kaien had told him long ago that Masaki looked the most beautiful when she smiled- and he was right.

.

Three days passed quickly, and the three girls Masaki had invited quickly agreed to attend Kaien's 'welcome home' party.

As promised, Sajin knocked on the door early in the morning, holding his cooking supplies and spices.

Yoruichi arrived first out of Masaki's friends- her hair had grown out and her figure had become much more shapely and feminine. She hugged Masaki, looking genuinely happy to see her. She had volunteered to bring party decorations and helped Masaki put them up.

Rangiku and Retsu arrived next; both had matured but still tackled Masaki in an embrace.

"Sorry we weren't keeping in touch as much," both apologized but Masaki just hugged them back tightly, happy to finally have all her friends with her once again.

"We're heeere!" Isshin called, Karin was in his one arm, and Yuzu was holding his other hand. Masaki quickly took Karin from him, cooing at the baby, as Isshin put down the baby bag slung at his shoulder. He carried the various pizzas he had brought for the party into Kaien's small kitchen.

"Ah, this is Isshin Shiba everyone- he is Kaien's cousin. The young ones are his daughters, Yuzu and Karin," Masaki introduced the man to her friends. "And these are my best friends- Rangiku, Retsu, and Yoruichi."

"Pleased to meet you all! Any friend of Masaki is a friend of mine!" Isshin grinned.

They all made idle chat for the next twenty minutes about their lives, as Masaki helped Sajin in the kitchen. Rangiku was overjoyed with Isshin's daughters, and going into childcare herself, played with them the entire time.

Masaki dashed back to the room where her friends chatted with an excited air.

"Guys, get ready! Kaien will be here any minute!"

They looked at her with amused gazes, but nodded as they all lined up at the door with confetti.

Sajin also came out of the kitchen, wiping his hand with a towel, "His bus arrived on time, and he should be here soon."

But Sajin's 'soon' ended up being longer than thirty minutes, and they all shifted uncomfortably as there was still no sign of Kaien.

"Are you sure his bus was supposed to come at twelve?" Masaki asked worriedly.

"Positive," Sajin replied. "I triple-checked the bus schedules online."

"You should call him to see if he's stuck somewhere in the station," Isshin recommended, his face more serious than usual.

Sajin nodded, and called Kaien. They all waited in silence as the phone dialled. Finally, the call connected.

"Hello, Kaien? Where are you? We're waiting-"

Sajin quieted.

"You _forgot_?"

Isshin, who had been watching Masaki's face carefully, saw the crestfallen expression appear on her face. At the side, Yoruichi also faintly looked upset before she cleared the expression off.

"Kaien, Masaki organized a party for you, and you _forgot_? ...What do you mean 'I never asked for a party'? Is she not allowed to make her boyfriend happy?"

Sajin listened on the phone for a bit longer, before he spoke curtly, "Fine. We'll be there, and make sure you don't 'forget' this time. We'll be there by four."

Sajin cut the line. He looked at everyone with a heavy look and they all understood what it meant.

"Masaki-" He began.

"It's fine!" Masaki replied at once brightly, "It's fine- we can have our own party! We'll have fun, and, and..."

"Masaki..."

"I'm fine, Sajin, just fine," Masaki's voice faltered, and tears began to gather in her eyes. Rangiku and Retsu went to hug their friend, as Yoruichi held Masaki's hand comfortingly.

"What an idiot boyfriend! I won't forgive him for making you cry, 'Saki!" Rangiku was saying angrily.

"No, he was probably too busy," Masaki shook her head, but still felt tears traitorously leave her eyes.

Isshin looked at the girl with pity, and felt his hand clench at the thought of his cousin forgetting about such a sweet girl waiting for him.

"Masaki, I called him up and he says we can come visit him instead," Sajin spoke gently. "The bus leaves in about forty minutes though, so if we want to get there by four o' clock, we've got to go."

Masaki looked up at him hopefully.

"R-Really?"

Sajin nodded, "Let's pack some of the food you made for him and take it to him."

"Y-Yes, but the party..."

"It's alright, 'Saki," Rangiku spoke, nuzzling Masaki's cheek, "It was great just seeing everyone. We can have a party some other time."

"She's right, Masaki, you should get going," Retsu petted Masaki's hair.

"We'll take down the decorations and clean up here," Yoruichi nodded.

"And I'll help put the food back in the fridge," Isshin spoke up, patting Masaki's shoulder reassuringly. "Now get going!"

Masaki smiled through her tears, "I'm really lucky to have such great friends like you guys."

"Nah, we're lucky to have _you_, Masaki!" Rangiku laughed. "Just be sure to give loverboy a punch or two from me, clear?"

"And a slap from me," Retsu added.

"And a kis- kick from me," Yoruichi quickly corrected, but both Rangiku and Sajin had noticed the girl's mistake. Rangiku looked at her friend sympathetically, while Sajin gave her a careful glance.

"I will, guys," Masaki replied with a laugh, ever oblivious, and went to pack some food for Kaien and grab her coat.

.

Masaki and Sajin hurried to the station with plastic containers full of warm food. They got onto the bus, and spent the long bus ride quietly in their own thoughts.

When the bus finally rolled to a stop, about two hours had passed since they had left Karakura.

They made their way to the apartment Kaien now lived in. They walked past many people hanging about in the halls and the lobby, as Kaien lived very close to his college's campus and students rushed back and forth like a constant tide.

As they came to Kaien's door, Masaki felt stiff. Sajin patted her on the back encouragingly, and she smiled at him gratefully. She knocked on the door loudly.

The door squeaked open.

"Kai-"

Masaki stopped and froze at the pretty woman who stared back at her.

"Oh," the woman looked at them, "are you Kaien's friends? He said you'd be coming. He's in the shower right now."

Sajin noticed how Masaki had gone silent and a tremble ran through her.

"May we know who you are?" He asked directly.

"Me? My name is Miyako Hitsugaya," the woman replied with a smile. "I'm Kaien's fiancée."

And Masaki fainted.

.

Masaki opened her eyes slowly. She was on a bed, and slowly things came back to her.

She turned her head, and saw Kaien's back towards her. As if they were back to their first time together, she timidly reached for Kaien's hand. Kaien noticed movement behind him, and turned.

Masaki held her breath, Kaien had become even more handsome and it made her heart skip a beat. His hair was longer, and his looks had matured since she had last saw him, but his deeply gazing eyes were still the same.

"Masaki..."

"Did you ever love me?" Masaki asked suddenly.

"O-Of course I did, Masaki! I really did..."

"Then why?"

"My family arranged Miyako to be my wife when we were younger. Her father and my father are close friends and business partners. I had always seen her as a sister. And later, I refused to meet her because I had you. But our families tricked us into renting the same apartment for college, and we were forced to stay together."

"You were with her since you started college?"

"Yeah. I-I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry, and at first, all I could think about was you Masaki, honest," Kaien looked at her pleadingly, "but Miyako was so much closer and she had become so much more beautiful than how I remembered her from our childhood. And I just..."

"Fell in love with her?" Masaki finished, closing her eyes.

Kaien stayed silent. He turned his head away from Masaki as he saw her tears fall.

"I'm sorry, 'Saki, I really am," he responded after a moment.

"Wh-Where is she?"

Kaien looked confused for a moment before he answered, "I asked Sajin to walk her to the girls' dormitory so she could stay with a friend for a bit while I talked to you."

Masaki took a deep breath and sat up from the bed, she pulled Kaien to her, kissing him desperately. Kaien was unmoving, but slowly returned her kiss.

As if knowing that this would be the last time, Masaki cried as they shared in each other's warmth and Kaien was much gentler than he usually was with her- but his gentleness made it hurt all the more for Masaki.

As they lay sated on the bed, Masaki held Kaien's hand tightly and brought it her cheek.

"I love you."

At Kaien's conflicted look, she continued, "I love you, but I'm letting you go. So please- be happy."

With those words, Masaki began pulling her clothes back on. Kaien sat up on the bed, his heart screaming at him to say something, _anything_, but nothing came to mind. He watched Masaki leave the room without a second look back. Before he realized what he was doing, he fell back into the bed and slept clutching the sheets where Masaki had laid moments before, as if her warmth would seep into him.

Masaki shakily stepped out of the apartment and quietly closed the door behind her.

She walked down the hallway absently, passing the occasional student. Suddenly, she was running as fast as she could, trying to leave the pain behind. Eventually she became out of breath and had to stop, as she leaned her back against a wall and slid down it. She sobbed loudly, not caring for who saw her.

With hands shaking in her grief, she called Sajin, and spoke incoherently through her sobs. He kept talking to her, trying to calm her through the phone, until he finally found her slumped at a wall.

He didn't need to say anything, as he pulled her crying form up. He walked her to the station, where they got onto the bus. Masaki finally stopped crying as they neared Karakura.

It was a long time that Sajin would see Masaki truly smile from the bottom of her heart again, and the next time he did, was at her and Isshin's wedding.

.

Masaki had remained depressed for a long time after her breakup with Kaien.

"Who does she think she is- this Miyako girl?!" Rangiku had raged, but Masaki had only shaken her head and looked down impassively.

"Will you be okay?" Retsu had asked, and at this, Masaki began to cry.

Rangiku and Retsu had done their best to cheer Masaki up, but even they could not succeed. Yoruichi didn't know what to say and looked torn, but all the same, she held Masaki and told her that everything would be okay. They all looked at her with sorrow, as they left her to return back to their lives and to their studies.

Masaki eventually moved out, and had her own small apartment as she studied to be a police officer.

Sajin visited her from time to time, and she would talk to him about the fact that she was going into law enforcement and how she would protect everyone. Yet still, she did not smile.

One day, as Sajin brought along Isshin and the kids to visit Masaki, Masaki finally showed a small smile, and Sajin instinctively knew that Masaki's happiness was dependent on Isshin. Something deep inside him felt hurt, as if he had hoped that he could've been the one to put Masaki's heart back together again, but Sajin was unselfish and he conceded to where he knew he had clearly lost.

He left the two alone, using the excuse that he would go make them some tea in the kitchen, telling Masaki to sit as he knew where her kettle was.

When he returned to the room, Masaki was laughing at something Isshin had said.

Sajin stood in relief, watching the girl finally be happy for several moments before he walked back in the room.

"And then, Yuzu said 'but Daddy, there're no slipper-monsters under my bed' and then she screamed when she found her own slipper peeking from under her bed!"

"Daaaddy," Yuzu whined, pulling at her father, "don't tell Mama that."

All three adults paused at that.

"Did you just say 'Mama', Yuzu?" Isshin asked weakly.

"Yeah," Yuzu nodded brightly, "it's 'cause Ma-sa-ki soun's too long. It's okay with you right, Mama?"

Isshin groaned, "I'm sorry Masaki, it must be so awkward hearing that-"

To all of their surprise, Masaki began to cry. Isshin, who was the most closest to her, took Masaki in his arms. Sajin put the tea tray down and sat next to Masaki in worry.

"Wh-What's wrong, Masaki?!"

Masaki shook her head hard, but kept crying.

"It's okay," Isshin rubbed her back, "everything will be okay."

"I-Isshin, S-Sajin," Masaki sobbed, "I-I'm pregnant with Kaien's child."

Both Isshin and Sajin looked at her in shock and then at each other.

"B-But please, d-don't tell Kaien. I-I'm begging you... I want to ha-have this baby, but I don't want to t-tie him down with a ch-child."

They looked at her, with their hearts breaking for her.

"Masaki, no matter what you decide, we'll stand by you." Sajin promised.

Yuzu came closer to Masaki and hugged her. Masaki hugged the girl back.

"Please don't cry, Mama," Yuzu was saying.

Isshin knew that he was always impulsive, but he hoped that it would be a good thing this time around.

"Masaki," he said softly, and Masaki turned to him with tears in her eyes. "Masaki, I'm not good at anything. I can barely be a dad to my little daughters. I'm not such a great cook, a-and I don't have many good points at all, but still, I want to protect you. I want to hold you and chase your worries away."

"If I'm okay with you," Isshin took a deep breath and Masaki looked awed, "I would like to be the father of your child."

There was a quiet in the room.

"A-Are you," Masaki started with a blush prominent on her face, "asking to ma-marry me?"

"If you'll have me," Isshin spoke, holding the girl's hand. "Like I said back at the lounge then a while ago, I really like you. And it hurts whenever I see you sad. If you're okay with this divorced man who can barely tie his shoelaces, then please, say yes."

"I-I..."

"O-Of course, you don't have to answer now!" Isshin assured.

"Yes, I will."

"A-And you can give me your answer whenever, and however you want- you know- text me, mail me, call me, telegraph me-"

"Isshin," Sajin spoke rolling his eyes at his friend, "she said yes."

Isshin was stunned for a moment, before he let out a shout of joy and picked Masaki up and twirled her around.

"Isshin, you idiot! Stop treating a pregnant woman like a child!"

Isshin quickly set Masaki down who just laughed. Isshin looked nervous again.

"A-Are you sure, Masaki? I don't mean to pressure you or anything..."

"Isshin, I fell in love with Yuzu and Karin a long time ago. It would be a dream come true to be their mother," Masaki smiled fondly at the two little girls.

"S-So, you only fell for my daughters?" Isshin's face fell.

Masaki blushed, "W-Well, there's not only that..."

"Stop being pushy, Isshin," Sajin cuffed Isshin lightly on the head, but Sajin was overjoyed to see Masaki finally come alive again.

And about eight and a half months later, a tiny wailing Ichigo Kurosaki was born into the world.


	13. Sorrow

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **In this chapter, more truths become clear. Some of you clever reviewers have already figured some things out, so well done to you! :) My summer courses start next week, so I had a moment to relax this week. As always, feedback/comments are very appreciated and encouraging. Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Miyako Hitsugaya wasn't an unpopular woman.

Though she was now a widow, she still had her share of admirers because of her beauty and for the fact that she had amassed a fair amount of wealth. Her father being the owner of a successful business, and her mother a graceful dancer and daughter of a famous politician, led to Miyako thus being coveted by all men eyeing her status and charm.

However, only one man had married her out of complete passion, without paying mind to her powerful and wealthy background.

But, she mused, that passion had cooled quickly.

She walked down the hall of her estate with an elegance befitting a daughter of the high-class society that she was part of.

She passed by several custom paintings and fine glassware that she had bought the other day, and she looked at them with a careful eye. She had her purchases displayed in fabulous cabinets and fully encased in glass; they were stored away from gathering dust or ever rusting away. She yearned for perfection.

Miyako had almost everything that she could have ever possibly wanted. From antiques to handbags- every single thing she had ever wanted was hers. She had everything, except for what she truly desired in the entire world, and that was gaining the heart of the only man she had ever loved.

"But," she spoke out loud, "you never really loved me, did you Kaien?"

She stopped at a large full-body portrait of her late husband. She traced his features lovingly with a finger, before pulling away from his picture as if it burned her.

"I can't forgive you- even now," Miyako spoke to Kaien's smiling but hollow portrait. "I spent five whole years with you. At first, our married life was bliss, but then you began to change. You started calling _her_ name in your sleep. How I wished that it was a nightmare you saw every night, but the way you called for her... it hadn't been a nightmare, had it Kaien?"

Kaien's smile was shifting in her eyes, as if it was becoming more mocking.

"You always loved her. You think I didn't see you crying when you heard that she had gotten married to Isshin?"

She continued caressing Kaien's flat face with her eyes.

"You loved her so much. I wanted to deny it so badly... I did everything I could to turn your head back to me, to see you smile just for me again... I spent countless hours getting new clothes and tried to look more beautiful. I studied hard to be an intelligent and thoughtful woman. I changed who I was, all so you could be proud to be my husband. All so you could be happy with me..."

Miyako slammed her open fist onto Kaien's face, as if he'd feel her slap in the afterlife.

"But you threw all of that back into my face! And when we finally had Tōshirō seven years ago, I thought you'd finally realize how much you loved me, but you _left_!"

Suddenly Miyako was back to that one torturous day in her life, which replayed in her head like a vivid nightmare.

.

"He's very cute," the nanny Miyako had hired spoke up, as she fussed with the baby.

"He is," Miyako looked at her son with a soft look.

Only a week old, Tōshirō slept most of the time and was a quiet child. He had inherited many of his looks from Miyako's foreign grandfather, and Miyako had noted wryly that Tōshirō looked nothing like Kaien.

"Has this young Master been named yet?"

"Back in college, Kaien and I dreamt of having a family," Miyako smiled nostalgically. "He had once said that if we had a boy, his name would have to be Tōshirō."

"What a splendid name for the young Master! He will surely carry on the Hitsugaya and Shiba line excellently."

Miyako was getting tired of the sycophantic woman next to her, and knew that the woman was only flattering her. Yet Miyako couldn't bring herself to care today, she was too happy for that.

Today, Kaien would be returning from a seven-month trip he had taken to further his business, and she was overjoyed.

She had been upset at first that he would miss the birth of their son, but she just knew that once Kaien would look at Tōshirō's delicate face, he would fall in love and their family would be made more secure. She fancied that he would even fall into a deeper love with her, as she was now the mother of his child.

There was still a noticeable rift between Kaien and Miyako caused by Masaki. Miyako wasn't a hateful person, and she was relatively kind and patient, but Masaki was the only one in the world she had such an acute dislike towards. She knew it wasn't Masaki's fault, but Kaien was so in love with that girl, that Miyako needed to express her frustrations out some way and she found it by blaming Masaki for her misfortunes.

"Master Kaien will be coming home today," the woman next to her spoke in her falsely sweet voice.

"Yes," Miyako replied with a sunny smile that was a rarity on her face. "He'll be here in the evening."

"Then, we should dress young Master Tōshirō in wonderful clothes to impress the Master," the woman concluded, and for once Miyako agreed with her whole-heartedly.

The nanny was later dismissed from the room after outfitting Tōshirō.

All dressed up in fine clothes, Tōshirō began to whimper in his sleep.

"It's okay," Miyako cooed, "once Daddy sees you like this, you'll be loved too. We'll both be loved. Won't that be nice?"

Tōshirō began to cry noiselessly.

"Don't worry, don't worry," Miyako said, but made no move to make Tōshirō more at ease. "I've never been in comfortable clothes either, you know. As long as I'm pretty for Kaien to look at, I don't need my own comfort. You should get used to this too- I already have."

She turned and left Tōshirō alone, as the baby boy cried and slowly fell asleep crying.

.

Evening was falling, and Miyako was decked in a lavish violet gown that accentuated her figure.

"You look charming," her mother praised her, but without any genuine emotion in her voice.

"Thank you, Mother," Miyako replied, and she looked to the clock with a graceful half-lidded gaze.

"Ah, Kaien is late, isn't he?" Her mother spoke up conversationally.

"Indeed."

Miyako didn't talk much with her mother, as they had never been very close. As an elegant ballerina and avid socialite, her mother had no time for parenting and had often left Miyako to a nanny. Her mother only used her in political outings, dressing the girl up luxuriously and telling her to keep quiet as she showed Miyako around like a pretty doll. Miyako's father had always been busy with his company, and though he showed affection for his daughter, it was rare to ever find him at home.

That's why Kaien had been such a breath of fresh air for Miyako.

He was a wild and free soul, lacking in nothing; he was loyal, strong, and brave. He was everything that she wanted in herself, and ever since they had been little, she had wanted to possess him. That desire grew and grew as she watched the young boy grow into a handsome man.

She knew he was having a relationship with some girl, but she didn't care. She never went to her father for favours, and so when she had called him and asked to be put in Kaien's apartment, he could barely refuse.

She was a brilliant actress. She had pretended that her parents had fooled her into sharing a place with Kaien, and he had naively believed her. She spent extra time every day trying to look more beautiful with various brands of make-up, and she watched in satisfaction as the boy looked at her with desire sparking in his eyes.

Finally, her efforts paid off and they landed in bed together. The words of love she was waiting her whole life for were finally whispered in her ear, and she felt completely happy. Every day was a joy. Every day was a day she wanted to continue living.

That was, until Kaien's last girlfriend showed up.

Masaki was pretty and had a good figure, Miyako had to admit, but she was no match for Miyako. Kaien had sent her away so he could talk with Masaki, as the latter had suddenly fainted at their door. Miyako had left them alone, letting them talk for about two hours, before she decided to return.

Miyako was sure that Kaien wouldn't pick Masaki over her, and he hadn't, but she had still felt crushed when she saw Kaien curled in the bed without his clothes.

As she had walked over to him weakly, she had almost passed out in relief when he opened his eyes and looked at her uttering 'I choose you, Miyako' with a small smile.

Her happiness was twice the amount it had been, knowing that Kaien had chosen her over Masaki. They had lived together for more than a year, before getting married, and now they had been married for four years. They lived together in the Hitsugaya residence owned by Miyako's family.

But Kaien was becoming more and more distant from her over the years. He no longer smiled at her like before.

His eyes would sometimes look at her, but gradually depart to some orange colour in the room- the colour of his previous girlfriend's hair. At this, Miyako had tried to remove all sources of the wretched colour from their home, but still, he would look away from her at times guiltily and she just knew he was thinking of Masaki.

Thinking that the atmosphere had become hard for them both, Kaien had announced a long-term business trip to diversify investments in different regions. Of course, Miyako's parents saw this business venture as an excellent idea, but Miyako knew what he really wanted- a break from 'them'. Not wanting him to hate her, Miyako let him take the chance to part from her.

But now he was coming home.

Miyako strongly hoped that the air would now be clear between them, and she swore to make an extra effort to make Kaien look at her, and now at their new son, Tōshirō.

"Madame Miyako!" A long-term servant of the Hitsugaya family rushed to the dining room where Miyako sat with her mother.

"Do you not know how to knock?" Miyako's mother reprimanded coldly. The servant immediately apologized, bowing lowly in a humble manner.

"What is it?" Miyako asked. "You were calling for me?"

"Yes, Madame- a letter from your husband has just arrived."

"Read it to us, then," Miyako's mother looked bored, as if it were something trivial to have interrupted her tea.

"I-I think Madame Miyako should rea-"

"Are you disobeying me?" Miyako's mother gave the servant an icy look.

The servant shook her head, and began to read in a wobbly voice.

"D-Dear M-Miyako, I-I am sorry b-but I will not b-be coming h-home t-today..."

"See? It's nothing serious."

Next to her mother, Miyako deflated and would've shrieked in agitation were it not unladylike and were she not in the presence of her overly-judgmental mother.

"A-And," the servant continued unsteadily, "I-I have to b-beg for your f-forgiveness. I-I want a d-divorce..."

The servant looked helplessly from the letter to Miyako, whose hand had frozen in midair while holding a delicate teacup.

"B-because I h-have realized th-that you were o-only a-an infatuation f-from t-the start..."

Miyako slammed her teacup down on the table. She stood and strode to the servant and grabbed the letter from the girl's trembling hands. She read the letter, her own hands also beginning to shake.

_Dear Miyako,_

_I am sorry but I will not be coming home today, and I have to beg for your forgiveness. I want a divorce because I have realized that you were only an infatuation from the start. I'm sorry, Miyako, I really am._

_I am ashamed to face you, because I have wasted nearly five years of your life. I don't want to make you wait any longer for the love that I can't give you. I'm a horrible person and you can hate me for this. I hate myself as well. _

_Back then, I should have told you everything about my insecurities, but I thought I could love you more than her._

_But I was only fooling myself. It was only my pride that stopped me from apologizing to Masaki. Every day, I desperately wished that I had chosen Masaki, and that wasn't fair to you._

_I hope you will find someone who will truly love you, Miyako. You are a beautiful and brilliant girl, and deserve to be happy._

_I don't have the right to see our child. I will leave our baby boy or girl in your care and hope they find their happiness as well._

_I've signed the divorce papers, and they're attached in the envelope I've sent._

_I will never appear in front of you, or return to the Hitsugaya residence again. I don't deserve to ever see you again. I'm sorry, Miyako._

_Kaien Shiba._

Miyako took a few steps back, and bumped into the table, making the fine china dishes tinkle as they moved.

There was an utter silence in the room, and not even Miyako's mother had words to say for the moment.

"M-Madame Miyako," the servant spoke still stuttering, "I-I have the d-divorce p-papers h-here with me."

Miyako picked up the nearest teacup and threw it at the wall right next to the servant girl's head. The teacup smashed into millions of pieces, and the servant girl screeched and quickly escaped her mistress's temper by fleeing the room.

Miyako fell to her knees, the numerous shards of the broken teacup seemingly resembling her life.

"I knew the boy was no good for you," Miyako's mother remarked casually from behind her, as if she were detached from the situation, and saw her daughter's agony as a part of some television drama she was used to watching.

"After all, his mother was a common housewife, wasn't she?" Miyako's mother continued on cruelly.

Miyako didn't reply, but was trembling hard, and she gave a long pained scream that shook the china on the table.

.

As if returning to her senses, Miyako blinked her eyes out the memory. She wasn't surprised at the tears which ran down her cheeks, and she touched them gently.

"That day was the worst day of my life," Miyako spoke with a shuddering breath, "you nearly broke me."

Kaien's portrait remained smiling obliviously.

"But I got the last laugh, didn't I?" Miyako continued.

She pressed herself against Kaien's picture, as if hoping that he would step out and give her the affection she so desperately needed. But she knew just like he had never cared for her when he was alive, he wouldn't care a single bit for her now as he lay dead.

"I refused to sign the divorce papers- I was Miyako Shiba until the very end. And I gave Tōshirō away to some random orphanage. I hated you so much, that I couldn't bear to look at your offspring. I contemplated drowning both myself and our son in some lake just to make you feel guilty, but I wouldn't remain so devoted to you. I refused to."

Miyako kissed Kaien's lips briefly, the portrait cold against her lips, but if she imagined just right, she could pretend like she felt Kaien's warmth.

"But no matter what I did, I loved you. _I loved you_!"

Miyako sobbed noiselessly, her shoulders shaking in her sadness.

"I...I loved you... I love you... but you kept going where I couldn't reach you. And now, to get away from me, you've even given up your life... Kaien, my love..."

Miyako slid down against the picture, tears still falling from her eyes.

"A year has passed since I got news of your death, but you've been haunting me long before that..."

Miyako stayed like that for a long time, both of her hands on Kaien's portrait, before one of her maidservants found her and pulled her mistress up from the familiar scene.

"Madame Miyako, the car is ready to take you to Karakura Orphanage," the young maidservant spoke softly, letting Miyako regain herself before talking.

"Y-Yes. Very good. And remember, as usual-"

"Not to tell anyone of what I've seen, right? You can count on me, Madame."

Miyako nodded at the girl, and held her head up high with all the sophistication of a Hitsugaya heir, as she left her heart behind back in the dark hallway where her love would speak or breathe no more.

.

The car rolled to a stop. Miyako waited for the driver to open her door, and she daintily stepped out of the car, under a lacy umbrella to shade her from the sunlight.

The Karakura Orphanage hadn't changed since she had dropped Tōshirō off in the hands of some unknown woman with the appropriate paperwork.

She wondered if she should even bother going through with her insane idea, but she supposed that it was too late to turn back.

Her maidservant stepped up from behind her, and Miyako signalled her to stay behind. Miyako closed her umbrella and gave it to the girl to hold.

"This is a part of my past that only I have to deal with. Wait for me here," she spoke curtly, and the girl nodded in assent as she walked back to the car.

With a deep breath, Miyako knocked sharply on the door.

The door was immediately opened by a little boy with long hair.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse us, but-" He spoke up professionally, but his tone clashed with his innocent and childish voice. He was interrupted by a little girl yelling.

"Ken! Gimme back my crayon!"

"Nuway! This is mwine!"

"It's Ru's! Ru's!" Another little voice was shouting.

"Oh, for goodness' sake! Mr. Komamura leaves for one day, and you children end up rioting!" A woman's voice exploded. "Kenpachi, return that crayon to Soi Fon!"

"But-"

"_Now, Kenpachi._"

Grumbling, Kenpachi returned the crayon to a triumphant little girl.

"And Soi Fon, don't think that I didn't see you draw on the wall upstairs. I want that clean, right now!"

Soi Fon looked put-off at that, and Kenpachi gave a smirk.

"Rukia- well, you haven't done anything, but go and help Soi Fon."

Rukia pouted but nodded, and the two girls stuck their tongues out at Kenpachi who grinned at their reactions. Matsumoto sighed tiredly.

"Gosh, you kids are just- Byakuya? Why are you standing at the door-?" Matsumoto paused as she turned the corner, and spotted Miyako standing there. "Oh, hello there. Sorry for the noisy welcome. The kids aren't usually so unruly."

"It's quite fine," Miyako answered, with a look of poorly hid revulsion at the children who headed upstairs. Byakuya lingered by Matsumoto's side in curiosity.

"Anyway, welcome to Karakura Orphanage. I'm supervisor Matsumoto- may I help you?"

"You can," Miyako spoke demurely, stepping into the threshold with her clacking heels. "I'm looking for Tōshirō Hitsugaya- if that's still what he's called."

"Tōshirō?" Matsumoto frowned. "Why do you want to see him? Who are you?"

"I'm sorry for the late introduction, but I am Miyako Hitsugaya. It's no surprise that you don't remember me from seven years ago."

Byakuya's eyes widened, as he quickly put together the pieces and looked at Miyako.

"You're Tōshirō's Mom?" The words escaped his mouth before he could stop them.

"I'm not," Miyako replied smoothly to the boy with a look of icy disapproval, "I am just the one who gave birth to him."

At this reply, Byakuya's face hardened. Matsumoto saw Byakuya's expression, and gently pushed him towards the stairs.

"Byakuya, please go upstairs while I have a chat with Ms. Hitsugaya. Make sure everyone's behaving themselves."

Byakuya nodded. Throwing one last equally cold look to Miyako, he stomped upstairs.

"The children here are quite insolent and misbehaved," Miyako spoke easily, with Byakuya still in earshot.

Byakuya turned to the woman and opened his mouth to say a rebuttal, but he saw Matsumoto strongly shake her head 'no' at him. He bit his lip and spun around to continue his trek up the stairs.

"At least they're obedient. But they're very much like untrained puppies."

"I would appreciate it if you kept such comments to yourself, Ms. Hitsugaya," Matsumoto spoke politely but with an edge in her tone.

"I've made you angry? My mistake," Miyako continued, striding past the woman and looking at everything, "I'm just curious as to how that boy has lived for the past seven years."

"He has a name."

"Right. I should know since I did give it to him, but sometimes it just escapes my mind," Miyako drawled.

"Why did you come here?"

Miyako twirled to Matsumoto with a harsh stare.

"It's his father's death anniversary. I was going to take him grave-visiting."

Matsumoto looked shocked.

"Ka-Kaien's death was today? R-Right, it's been a year- I had forgotten..."

It was Miyako's turn to look stunned.

"Y-You knew my husband?"

Matsumoto looked away, "I was a friend of Masaki's."

Miyako's surprise vanished and an expression of supreme distaste flitted across her face.

"Where is he?"

Matsumoto looked at the woman for a long moment, before beckoning her to follow.

.

Matsumoto walked upstairs, and Miyako followed slowly.

They saw Byakuya standing with his arms folded, as the girls and Kenpachi were working hard to rub away the crayon drawings on the wall with wet cloths. Rukia and Soi Fon were so focused on their task that they hadn't notice the two women approach, and jumped at Matsumoto's voice.

"Good, make sure that I don't see a speck of crayon there."

The children nodded, while Byakuya gave a partial glare at Miyako.

"Puppies," Miyako muttered under her breath, and Byakuya growled in his throat. Kenpachi, seeing Byakuya's adverse reaction to the woman, also glared at being compared to a dog.

"Well, if wer' pwuppies, you muwst be a bitc-"

"Kenpachi!" Matsumoto scolded loudly. "_What_ have I told you about swearing?"

"That if I evewr did it, you'd be washin' my mouwth with soap," Kenpachi spoke without remorse, "but soap doeshn't tashte so bad."

"I'm giving you one last warning, Kenpachi," Matsumoto rubbed at her head, feeling a headache emerge. "Now, where is Tōshirō?"

"Takin' a nap with Ichi," Kenpachi shrugged, but with a knowing grin.

The other children were already used to Tōshirō's immense attachment to Ichigo, and paid no mind to it as they saw it as another case of Kenpachi's strong affection for Yachiru.

"Those two are joined to the hip," Matsumoto mumbled, and Kenpachi looked curiously at the phrase and glanced at his hip in confusion. Matsumoto patted the boy on the shoulder, and turned down the hall.

"This is where he sleeps," Matsumoto spoke, as she knocked once on the closed door and opened it. Miyako couldn't help but feel a strange jittery feeling in her stomach, as she followed to see the child she had left behind seven years ago.

The room was slightly dark as the curtains had been haphazardly shut, but sunlight still streamed through.

Two pairs of even breathing could be heard coming from one bed. Miyako's eyes squinted to readjust, as she realized that she couldn't see both boys since they were curled under the blankets.

"Like I said, joined at the hip these two," Matsumoto shook her head but gave them a fond look. She turned to Miyako with a small smile, "But that's to be expected, right?"

Before Miyako could ask just what Matsumoto meant, the light-haired supervisor had already walked to the bed and ripped off the blanket from the boys.

"Rise and shine!"

Miyako couldn't help but gasp at the boys' position.

A white-haired boy was curled into an orange-haired boy, his face hidden in the other's neck and his hands clutched at the taller boy's shirt. The orange-haired boy held the white-haired boy with his arms circled around the smaller boy's waist and shoulder, his face hidden in the smaller boy's hair.

Both hissed at the sudden lack of warmth from their blanket. The white-haired boy let out a low whine as he cuddled deeper into the other boy, as if trying to merge with the boy and save his eyes from being blinded by the new light. The orange-haired boy responded by groaning softly, and clutching the smaller boy to him tighter.

"Five more minutes, Ms. Matsumoto," the orange-haired boy murmured sleepily, still not opening his eyes, and continuing to burrow into the smaller boy's pleasant warmth.

Miyako watched all of this with wide eyes.

"No Ichigo, get up _now_," Matsumoto sang.

Hearing a tone of non-compromise in Matsumoto's voice, Ichigo shifted his hold on the white-haired boy.

"No, stay," the white-haired boy growled, pulling Ichigo back to him, not minding as Ichigo weakly fell back on top of his smaller body. The smaller boy locked Ichigo into his hold by wrapping his legs around the older boy's waist, and his arms encircling the other's shoulders.

"But 'Shirō, Ms. Matsumoto says-"

"No. Stay with'm," the smaller boy demanded, still drowsy and annoyed at Ichigo's attempts to leave him.

"Tōshirō, Ichigo, you two can be lovey dovey later," Matsumoto spoke as if it were an ordinary occurrence. Miyako looked to her in shock not understanding that Matsumoto was joking. "We have a visitor."

Matsumoto motioned at Miyako to say something, and Miyako, still stunned, stuttered, "H-Hello."

As he heard this new voice, Ichigo leaned up from Tōshirō trying to push aside his sleepy haze.

Tōshirō gave a whine of discontent, as his hold on Ichigo forced him to be lifted from the bed as well, and he sat up with Ichigo. Like a sleepy kitten, Ichigo nuzzled Tōshirō's neck, immediately making the smaller boy giggle and loosen his hold. Ichigo softly kissed Tōshirō's cheek in apology, and this action made Miyako gasp again.

As Matsumoto walked to the curtains and pulled them open, Miyako could finally see the boys' faces clearly in the light, and she felt as if the floor was falling away from underneath her.

"K-Kaien?"

She backed into a wall, and Ichigo's head had jerked towards her as he heard the name that left the woman's lips. She stared at him with wide eyes.

Matsumoto hurried to the woman's side, "No, you're wrong, Miyako. This is Ichigo Kurosaki."

"As in- Masaki Kurosaki's son?" Miyako swallowed loudly.

"That's right."

"And his father... oh my go- no, d-don't tell me this is why Kaien left? Don't tell me he left me because he had a kid with Masaki?! I never even knew!" Miyako's voice grew louder and more hysterical.

"Y-You didn't know about Ichigo?" Matsumoto asked with an astonished stare, as Miyako still shook as if she had seen a ghost.

"Where is she? Where is that woman? Where is Masaki?!" Miyako shouted frantically and completely enraged.

"My mother is dead," Ichigo spoke up. "She died six years ago, along with my entire family."

"T-Then, who is your father?" Miyako looked panicked, and on the verge of a breakdown. "It's Kaien, isn't it? It has to be! You look exactly like him!"

Ichigo looked disturbed but replied to the shouting woman, "N-No, my father is Isshin Shi-"

"Don't lie to me!" Miyako screamed. "There is no way you could be Isshin's kid! You look exactly like Kaien! Just say it- Kaien is your father, isn't he?!"

"He isn't!" Ichigo fired back, but a strange headache was gathering in his head and he visibly winced.

Tōshirō had been watching the chaos wordlessly, but noticed the change in Ichigo right away. He took the boy's hand and gave it a tight squeeze. Ichigo looked at him, eyes lost in disarray.

"It's okay, Ichigo," he spoke clearly for the first time since Miyako had entered the room, "this is my probl'm. She isn't here to see you; she's here to see me."

"Tōshirō…"

Tōshirō gave Ichigo a small trembling but reassuring smile.

Slowly letting go of Ichigo's hand, the small boy climbed out of bed and strode to the woman falling apart at the other side of the room.

"I'm who you're lookin' for, right? My name is Tōshirō Hitsugaya," Tōshirō paused and took a breath, "it's been a long time... Mother."


	14. Revealed

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Thanks for waiting, here is the next chapter of WtKO. From how things are going, the story may seem quite depressing but I'm trying to aim for a happy ending. To those of you who are discontent with the romance in the story, I must point out that in the whole story I've put strong emphasis on themes of friendship, family and mental health; my pairing tag also says that this is a friend-verse. If you were looking for romance with the context of love, you've completely missed the point of the plot and the deeper relationship that exists between Ichigo and Tōshirō. If you feel disappointed, feel free to drop this story. Otherwise, I thank all my readers for their continued support and kind readership. I hope to write you all a satisfying ending! With that said, please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Tōshirō had always imagined the moment when he would finally be adopted from the orphanage.

He had always dreamed it to be his mother coming for him.

He had imagined it countless times- his mother would come to pick him up, and she would apologize to him for leaving him behind. Then she would bring him home, cook him delicious food, buy him all the books and toys that he had ever wanted, and they would sleep in a warm and comfy bed together. They would be happy forever.

He knew of his father's passing, but he knew that somewhere out there, his mother was alive. He had hidden hopes that someday she would take him away.

It wasn't much he asked for- or so Tōshirō had thought. He had let himself be deluded by this fantasy of his mother as his rescuer. It was a guilty pleasure of sorts to think on and to rely on, as he lay sleepless at dark nights long before Ichigo had come to the orphanage. It was a little glimmer of light that he depended on, and it had become his dearest desire in the entirety of his young life.

He had never expected in his wildest dreams, to be slapped by the woman he had so hoped would save him.

But the sound of Miyako's slap rang in the room like an echo.

"I am not your mother," Miyako rasped, repeating what she had told Byakuya in a more severe voice, "I only gave birth to you- so don't you get cocky!"

Tōshirō's face had turned with the impact of the blow, and he had frozen in that position. His cheek began to turn red from the hit.

Ichigo was immediately on his feet.

Afraid that he would strike at the woman, Matsumoto moved towards him, "Ichigo, no-"

To her surprise, Ichigo only walked to Tōshirō and gathered him in his arms tightly, all the while glaring at Miyako.

"You might think that we mean nothing to you, but we children have feelings too! The moment you gave birth to Tōshirō, you agreed to be his mother! The minute you gave life to him, you became responsible for him, so don't you dare say something so hurtful like 'I only gave birth to you'!"

At Ichigo's intense words, Miyako crumpled bit by bit, sliding to the ground against the wall.

With Ichigo's face so similar to Kaien's, Miyako felt as if Kaien was condemning her from the afterlife. For a dizzy moment, she began imagining Ichigo as Kaien standing before her and that Tōshirō was Masaki in his arms.

"N-No!" She climbed towards Ichigo, "I'm sorry, Kaien! I didn't mean to abandon Tōshirō, but you left! You left me! I didn't know what else to do- he was your child too-!"

She inched closer, and Ichigo looked increasingly frightened at the woman who crawled to him. She held his leg in repentance.

"But you left- with, with _her_!" Miyako glared at Tōshirō, and the smaller boy flinched. "Why did you have to go running after her? Why did you act like I had a chance with you, when all you've ever done is love Masaki?!"

Matsumoto hurried to pry Miyako's hands off of Ichigo, "Miyako, that's enough!"

"No! Don't separate me from him again!" Miyako shrieked, throwing off Matsumoto who stumbled back and fell. Miyako looked back at Ichigo with pleading eyes. "I love you! Why can't you see that? Why?"

Ichigo was silent and dazed, but the pitiful woman was too much for him to bear.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo replied at length. "I don't understand what you're trying to say, but you've been suffering too, right? I'm sorry for what you've had to go through."

Not knowing what else to say, he stayed silent after that.

"If you're sorry, let her go Kaien! Come to me," Miyako begged. "Please, she's let you go, so why can't you do the same?"

"I-I can't," Ichigo shook his head, arms still around Tōshirō, "he needs me."

"I need you too, Kaien! You're everything to me!"

"But you're not everything to _me_!" Ichigo seemed frustrated and yelled.

Miyako looked like she had been slapped, and recoiled.

"Something like that… Saying something like that… You would never have said it if she wasn't around," Miyako changed her grief into unyielding spite as she glared at Tōshirō. "If you can't let her go, then I'll _make_ you let her go!"

Like a sleek and graceful panther, Miyako leapt at Tōshirō, breaking him away from Ichigo's hold. She took his lithe neck into her hands, and began tightening her hands around his windpipe.

"If only you didn't exist! If only you had never met Kaien!"

"T-Tōshirō!" Ichigo shouted, as he tried to yank Miyako's hands off from Tōshirō, the smaller boy beginning to gasp for breath. "Let go of Tōshirō!"

"Never!"

"Miyako, don't do this!" Matsumoto screamed, as she threw her weight into pulling the woman off. "I know you're hurt, but would Kaien ever love the killer of his child?!"

"It has to be done! This boy means nothing to our happiness!"

The door slammed open, and Byakuya stood there with Komamura standing behind him.

"Over here, Sa-Ko!" Ichigo cried.

Komamura charged into the room. With his enormous strength, he dragged Miyako off of Tōshirō, who wheezed erratically and convulsed on his side. Matsumoto hurried to him, pulling the boy up to heavily lean on her shoulder.

"Tōshirō!"

At Ichigo's anguished cry, Miyako's mist of madness dimmed but she still saw Kaien in Ichigo and reached to him vulnerably.

"Please, love me Kaien," she begged, her arms outstretched towards Ichigo. Ichigo fell onto his knees by Tōshirō's side. He glared at the woman with all the hate he could muster.

"I will never love you!"

With that, something cracked in Miyako and she fell lifelessly like a doll into Komamura's hold, as if her entire being had been crushed by Ichigo's vehement rejection.

She watched without feeling as Ichigo took Tōshirō from Matsumoto and held him gently, the younger boy grasping onto him for support.

Miyako had a moment of complete clarity, as she asked in an emotionless voice, "Who is that boy's father, Sajin?"

Komamura looked torn between pity and anger at the broken woman he restrained in his arms. She had been many things, including his best friend's ex-wife, and he could not fully hate her as she had brought little Tōshirō into the world. He looked resigned, and meeting Matsumoto's eyes which looked the same as his, he prepared to unleash the unspoken secret.

He looked to Ichigo, and hoped that the boy would be okay; that the truth wouldn't change him. He wished for this with all his heart, as he finally opened his mouth.

"Ichigo Kurosaki and Tōshirō Hitsugaya's fathers are one and the same. They are both born from Kaien Shiba."

Ichigo felt Tōshirō's hands grow colder against him, and Ichigo himself felt frozen in shock at the news.

Miyako looked like she had always known this fact, and stumbled over to Byakuya's bed .She sat down on it with a hunch, and began to cry loudly. Matsumoto looked torn, as if she didn't know whether to comfort Miyako or let the woeful woman wallow in her own misery.

"B-But that's not right, Sa-Ko," Ichigo found himself saying, "my Dad is Isshin Shiba n-not whoever this Kaien Shiba guy is."

"They were cousins, Ichigo," Komamura replied. "Before Masaki married Isshin, she had you with Kaien."

"Th-They never said-"

"Because they didn't want to hurt you."

"Then why," Ichigo swallowed loudly, "why didn't you tell me before?"

"We weren't supposed to tell you anything, Ichigo," Matsumoto spoke up this time. "Ichigo, you can't remember a lot of things, can you? Your memory is… _fractured_, isn't it?"

Ichigo was silent at this, his eyes still wide.

"You can't remember about how your family died or how Kaien died. You can't even remember who Kaien was, and we were told not to let you remember, Ichigo." Matsumoto looked at the boy and then back to Komamura.

"W-Why?"

"Ichigo, we were told by your doctors not to let you remember anything, or else you would end up like what you were before," Komamura explained.

"Wh-What was I like before?"

Komamura and Matsumoto looked haunted at the boy's soft question, both of them remembering the horror of Ichigo strapped down onto a straitjacket in a white room, in a hospital's psychiatry ward.

.

"Let me die! Let me die! Let me die!"

Matsumoto looked sickened at the boy screaming for his own death on the opposite side of the glass-enclosed room. She watched as a nurse injected something into the boy with a syringe, and a vacant look entered into the boy's eyes as he slumped forward, staring blankly at a wall.

"Th-That's Ichigo Kurosaki? M-Masaki Kurosaki's son?"

The doctor, Kisuke Urahara, nodded somberly before he answered.

"That is correct, supervisor Matsumoto. We were told to contact both you and caretaker Komamura in the case of Kaien Shiba's passing. He wrote in his will that he wanted Ichigo to go to you if perchance something happened to him, but with conditions as they are..."

"What is he saying?" Komamura whispered from Matsumoto's side, in shock at the sight of Kaien's son in such mental mayhem.

"He wants to die, because he believes that he's killed his family and that he's killed Kaien Shiba."

"Did he?" Matsumoto asked with a low voice and a pause.

"To our knowledge," Urahara began, flipping through his papers, "and as you already know, Masaki Kurosaki, Isshin Shiba, Yuzu Shiba and Karin Shiba passed away due to a fire. We don't know if Ichigo had anything to do with it, but he did come out suspiciously unharmed."

"After his family's death, Ichigo went into a severe mental withdrawal, and became a comatose shell. That is, until we contacted his father by birth, Kaien Shiba. Kaien drew Ichigo to life again, and they lived together for five years."

"But then, Ichigo killed Kaien," Matsumoto breathed. Komamura's hands were twitching in sorrow.

Urahara gave them a look of sympathy before continuing.

"We still don't know why; we don't have any reasons at all. It was a simple attack. There were no signs of struggle, as if the victim hadn't been expecting Ichigo to do what he did. The knife wound hit Kaien's arteries, and he died almost instantly. When the neighbours heard Ichigo screaming, they had thought there was abuse taking place and called the police."

"The police found Ichigo surrounded by blood in the kitchen, along with Kaien's corpse. Ichigo was hacking at his own limbs at the time, cutting both of his legs deeply with the knife that had been used to kill Kaien. His wounds were severe but are no longer critical."

"Why do you keep him tied up like this," Komamura spoke for the first time, his voice shaking in grief.

"Mr. Komamura," Urahara looked at Ichigo with the height of pity in his eyes, "do you know that the boy has tried to kill himself over nine times?"

Both Matsumoto and Komamura gasped aloud. Matsumoto felt weak in her feet, and Komamura held her shoulders to steady her.

"N-Nine?" Matsumoto stuttered.

"Yes, he is convinced that he killed his family along with Kaien. The latter being true, he has mentally degraded into only keeping the desire to kill himself."

"H-How do we help him? How?" Komamura asked in a trembling voice.

Urahara shook his head sadly.

"We can't do anything for him now, until Ichigo finds it within himself to live on."

The medicine the nurse had injected into him had apparently faded away quickly, as Ichigo began screaming once again for death, and Matsumoto couldn't help the sob that escaped her throat.

.

Eight months later, Matsumoto was called by Urahara at the Karakura Orphanage.

"I don't know if you'll be happy or not," Urahara had said over the line, "but this morning Ichigo Kurosaki showed signs of sanity. He hasn't once asked to be allowed to die- in fact, he has even asked for something to eat."

Komamura paused in feeding baby Yachiru her food, as Matsumoto all but slumped onto a wall in relief.

"But there's something more. Ichigo has lost all of his memories."

Matsumoto nearly dropped the phone. Komamura hurried to take the phone from her, and the doctor explained the situation to him.

"We will tell Ichigo the basics of his life, but nothing about Kaien. He will be told nothing about his killing of Kaien and his supposed killing of his family," Urahara spoke, "Mr. Komamura, we will keep Ichigo for a few more months to observe his mental stability. If all is well, we'll allow you to take him to the orphanage as his father, Kaien Shiba, wished."

And about four months later, Ichigo showed up with a social care worker to the Karakura Orphanage.

.

Matsumoto and Komamura had been warned by Urahara not to breathe a word about how Ichigo had killed Kaien, and seemingly killed his family, to anyone. His killing of Kaien had been covered up by the police as he was still a minor. The cover story was that Kaien had been killed in an unsuccessful robbery attempt.

Matsumoto hadn't told either Unohana or Shihōin for the longest time, but on a drunken evening at their reunion in a private room, she had spilled everything in tears and sobs to her best friends. They had been shocked at the news about Ichigo, and Shihōin had been the one most affected at knowing of Kaien's true killer. Matsumoto knew that even now Shihōin remained unforgiving towards Ichigo, yet both of her friends had been supportive and had pledged to do whatever they could to help her whenever she needed them.

She and Komamura had worked hard to prevent Ichigo's former life from ever reaching him.

And now, the shards of truth that they had desperately tried to hide to bring about some sort of peace for the boy were shattering again.

"Ichigo, some things are best left not remembered at all," Komamura spoke gently.

"A-Are you hiding my own past from me?"

"It's for your own good, Ichigo," Matsumoto spoke, with a hand on his shoulder.

"Shouldn't I be the one to decide that?" Ichigo replied back, and Matsumoto and Komamura exchanged glances again.

"Ichigo, you'll recover your memories in time," Komamura spoke firmly, but had a melancholy light in his eyes as if he fully hoped that Ichigo's recovery of his past would never happen. He wouldn't be able to bear seeing the happy and brave boy turn back into a hollow puppet, screaming for his own end.

"Why," Tōshirō finally spoke up, "why did my father leave me? Why did Kaien leave me and Mother?"

Miyako looked up from her crying at the quiet question asked by her son.

Tōshirō slowly pulled away from Ichigo's hold, and looked down to his hands, "Did he really leave us because of Ichigo and Ichigo's mom?"

Ichigo looked hurt and shocked at Tōshirō retreating from him, but he didn't know what to say to excuse his father's deeds, because even he did not know why Kaien had done what he did.

When no one spoke, Tōshirō looked at Ichigo with a strange shuddering feeling in his voice.

"Ichigo," Tōshirō spoke, "I've always known all along that you were Kaien's son- my half-brother. You might not remember, but you came here once with Kaien to the orphanage."

At Ichigo's frustrated look at not being able to remember, Tōshirō continued, "I was always smart for my age, an' I wanted to know who I was. I went through Rangiku's desk one day, an' I found my file... It had my parents' names on it- Miyako Hitsugaya was my mother. Kaien Shiba was my father."

"E-Even you were hiding things from me, Tōshirō? Even you didn't tell me?" Ichigo sounded upset and betrayed.

"Do you really think that I didn't want to?" Tōshirō asked, just as frustrated. "Of course, I wanted to! But you didn't remember Kaien- how could I claim to be your brother from a man you didn't even know?!"

Ichigo had no answer to that.

"I didn't want to tell you," Tōshirō continued more softly, "because I didn't want you to hate me for who I really was. Even if you didn't know, you were still my only family in the world who actually cared for me. I-I didn't want to freak you out. I just- I just needed you so much. I didn't want you to leave me."

Suddenly, both Tōshirō and Miyako's words fit together like parallels in Ichigo's mind.

_I just needed you so much._

_I need you too, Kaien!_

Ichigo no longer felt the immense hatred towards Miyako as he had experienced moments before. Instead, as she looked at him with her desolate eyes, he felt nothing but a faint feeling of remorse and a vague feeling of an affinity towards her.

Ichigo saw Tōshirō trembling, as if he feared that he would be rejected with the same contempt Ichigo had shown his mother.

Ichigo felt strange and almost empty-like; his heart plunged into a deep despair and a strange numbness stealing through him. And just as Kaien had given up to Miyako the first time, unable to leave her alone, Ichigo took Tōshirō in his arms.

"If you need me, I'll be here. If you want me to hold you, I'll be here. I'll be with you, I've said so before, haven't I?"

Tōshirō immediately heard the hollowness in Ichigo's voice and looked at him apprehensively.

"Ichi...?"

"I don't need my past- I don't need my parents or Kaien. I don't need anything and I don't need anyone, as long as I'm with you, Tōshirō," Ichigo continued to say in his deadened voice.

The light in his eyes was replaced with a vacant look. It was an empty gaze both Matsumoto and Komamura had immediately recognized; it was the same one Ichigo had donned in the hospital, blankly staring at white walls, only shrieking for his own demise.

Matsumoto and Komamura reacted first, as they rushed to Ichigo and held him tightly. Matsumoto was crying, and Komamura shut his eyes as if to avoid seeing a reality that he had never wanted to see.

In the open doorway, the other children of the orphanage stood and watched in unbidden terror, at the chaos unfolding right in front of their eyes.


	15. Reflecting

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Surprise! It's a double chapter update this week, dedicated to Mother's Day. :) The last few chapters were the big reveal, with Ichigo and Tōshirō's relationship finally being cleared up; applause to the readers who figured it out ahead of time! In this chapter, we learn about Rangiku Matsumoto's past as well as some other information about the past regarding Kaien. It's a bit longer than usual but I hope it is to your satisfaction. As always, all of your feedback/comments are always encouraging and duly noted. Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Matsumoto hadn't thought that she would fall asleep so quickly after the taxing day she had just had, but she did, and in her sleep she began to revisit a horrifying scene of her life.

She tossed and turned in her bed, but couldn't break free of the clutches that her memory was viciously clawing at her with.

She was back to walking towards a dilapidated apartment building, that now haunted her. She watched as her younger self laughed and talked with her boyfriend, Gin.

"Run away," she would always scream at her younger self, but she knew it would be of no use. She would always watch helplessly as she was stupidly caught in the same trap, over and over again.

.

"So, this is where the lab is?" She had been saying.

"Yeah," Gin looked at her with a smile, "it's where Professor Kurotsuchi works best, which is usually in his apartment. I'm just an assistant right now, but I've seen the Professor make a lot of amazing things."

"Is it okay for me to go visit?" She asked, biting her lip, "He sounds awfully busy."

"Nah, as my girlfriend, you get special perks," Gin grinned, wrapping an arm around her.

She giggled girlishly.

They walked into the building, and were approached by a frazzled looking man who frantically spoke in a slurred voice.

"Ichimaru, tell Kurotsuchi I need more."

"As you can see, I'm busy right now," Gin replied coldly.

"Ichimaru, please! I'll give you anything," the man was close to begging.

"Maybe I'll get pass your message along, maybe I won't," Gin shrugged, as they walked into an elevator, leaving the desperate man behind.

As an older Matsumoto watched the scene, she lamented that she should have known that something was up right then, but she had been too blind in her love for Gin- too stupid...

A little frightened, she had asked, "What was that about?"

Gin shrugged again, "Everyone wants the Professor's research."

She waited for him to explain, but he didn't elaborate and so she stayed quiet until they reached the top floor. Gin suddenly turned her and kissed her, and she blinked dazedly as he pulled away.

"Don't worry about it," he said tenderly.

She had nodded with a soft smile, and had thought to herself that everyone was too quick to judge her boyfriend because they had never seen this side of him- his warm and caring side.

In truth, he hadn't even taken her to bed yet. He knew she was inexperienced and had never done intimate acts before, and so he was taking their relationship slow, never going past anything she felt uncomfortable with. He was also charming and sweet to her, and she found herself falling for him deeply.

Gin held her hand, and walked them to where he pointed out was the Professor's home and lab. He pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door.

The sickly sweet smell hit her nose first. She walked in behind Gin, wondering at various beakers sitting about filled with assorted powders.

"Yo, Prof. Kurotsuchi! Are ya still alive?" Gin called loudly.

She had almost shrieked in fear as a man with black paint all over his face walked out of a room. She held onto Gin's hand tightly, and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Rangiku, this is Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Professor, this is my girlfriend, Rangiku Matsumoto."

"Ahh, the pretty one you keep talking about," Kurotsuchi replied in a scratchy voice that sent shivers down the girl's spine. He stared at her with open interest, and she didn't like the way he kept looking at her.

"Also, I ran inta some punk downstairs askin' for... your _research_, Prof," Gin spoke carefully.

"Well, he wasn't exactly a subject worth my time," Kurotsuchi shrugged, but nonetheless went through his kitchen cabinets and found a very small but carefully hidden packet. "Here, get this to him and make sure he takes it somewhere out of sight- a public washroom maybe. It'll calm him down, and then he'll definitely quiet down... _for a long time_."

Gin nodded and took the packet. He turned as he headed out.

"Ah, Gin!" She said.

"The little lady should stay here in case things turn disagreeable; don't you think so, Gin?" Kurotsuchi suggested mildly.

"Righ', you stay here Rangiku. It won't take too long," Gin nodded.

"B-But Gin-"

Gin gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "I'll be back soon. Love you."

He quietly shut the door behind him. She stared at the closing door with some fear.

"You don't have to be so scared of me," Kurotsuchi spoke up conversationally.

"I-I'm not!" She spun to look at the leering man.

Kurotsuchi looked at her with an appraising eye before he turned back to the kitchen.

She was wary of him, but fascinated by all the different colours she saw being sloshed around in test tubes and ventured into the apartment. She saw a cage, and looked closely towards it. She yelped, as a rat thrice as big as its normal size climbed into view.

"That's one of my latest subjects."

She turned to see Kurotsuchi holding a tea tray. He set it down as a peace offering between them. She carefully looked at him pouring something similar to milk tea into a cup.

"What is it a subject for?" She finally spoke.

"Ah, rat number two-thousand and three is a subject for longevity."

"You have over two thousand rats?" She looked interested but disturbed.

"I _had_ over two thousand- only that one remains now," Kurotsuchi pointed, "strongest of the last batch, I must say."

He put the cup of tea in front her, and she took it gratefully.

"What does longevity mean?"

"My dear girl, it means I'm testing for immortality!" Kurotsuchi spoke dramatically.

"Is that possible?" She asked with wide eyes, engrossed in the subject as unconsciously she rose the cup to her lips.

Kurotsuchi watched as she drank the liquid with a wicked grin.

"Why, anything is possible with science, girl..."

.

She didn't know when she passed out, but she definitely felt being dragged to a bed.

And every day after that, the feeling of foreign hands touching her in places she had never been touched before, with utter entertainment and without a single care for her, would never truly leave from her skin no matter how much she scrubbed it raw.

She lay on her back, still dizzy from whatever Kurotsuchi had given her. She was disgusted with the pain she felt from her lower body. She immediately knew what had happened, even in her fogged understanding. Kurotsuchi watched her impassively, clucking his tongue at her bare body. She tried to hit him weakly, still unsteady from the drug, with tears spilling from her eyes. He dodged, and merely pulled his clothes back on.

"What a horrid experience- all you've got are looks in the end. I guess I should tell Gin that you're not much of a woman after all."

He left her with the same calculating air as he had violated her with, and she was alone and sobbing by herself wishing for someone to save her.

In her haze, she reached for her cell phone. As soon as she heard Masaki's voice, she began to cry.

"_Ran? Ran?! What's wrong?!"_

"I know you're at work b-but I need your help 'Saki- I just need someone- oh go- I feel sick- h-he touched me and h-he- please, Masaki I need you here," she sobbed into her phone and rattled off bits and pieces of the address she remembered.

Masaki didn't take long to arrive, but it felt like forever for her as she lay on her back on the unfamiliar bed, feeling hopeless and crying.

She heard Masaki's loud cries for her name, as she pushed into the apartment. She heard Masaki argue with Kurotsuchi, and she pulled herself together to shout, "Masaki!"

Masaki finally burst into the room. She was still dressed in her police uniform, and looked horrified at the state she found her friend in.

"Ran! Oh my gosh, Ran!" Masaki ran to her side.

"Please 'Saki, get'm outta here," she rasped. "Please don' let him touch me again."

"I don't care who you are! There's nothing in my room and you are trespassing, you stupid girl!" Kurotsuchi called out from behind her in anger, following in. He gave a dirty look at the girl on the bed. "That's no one- just some unskilled prostitute."

Masaki turned and punched Kurotsuchi in the jaw, and there was an audible crack in the room. The man fell backwards, howling in pain. He crawled away into an adjoining bathroom and locked the door behind him. Masaki slammed her fists on the door.

"You pitiful excuse of a man! You rapist!"

"Masaki, please, get'me out," she tried again weakly. Masaki hurried to her side, and she saw tears running down Masaki's cheeks. "N-No don' cry, 'Saki."

"Shush," Masaki spoke, hurriedly helping her friend back into her clothes. "Why are you here?"

"Gin said," she started, "that he'd introduce'me to his boss."

Masaki swore- something she rarely did. "Let's go, Ran."

As Masaki helped her up and walked her to the door, Gin appeared in the open doorway.

"Rangiku? What happened?" He looked genuinely confused. Masaki didn't give him a chance to see her hit coming, and she slapped him hard. Gin looked angry right away.

"Your boss raped my best friend, you freak! That's 'what happened'!" Masaki screamed. Gin suddenly lost his anger, and looked shocked.

"Wh-What?"

Masaki slapped him again, Gin's face snapping to the side again.

"'Saki," she spoke hazily, holding on to Masaki's arm, "jus' get'me out."

Masaki looked at her pitifully, and gave a final glare to Gin, "I will never let you see Ran again, you trash!"

Masaki walked right past Gin with her friend leaning on her shoulder, and neither looked at the silver-haired man as they passed him.

As they left the apartment, they heard Gin's piercing yell of frustration echo down the hallway behind them.

.

Masaki had tried to convince her to go to court, but she had desperately refused. She didn't want everyone to see her as a victim.

They were both saved the trouble of bringing Kurotsuchi to the authorities, as four days later he was arrested and charged on insurmountable evidence of his supplying of illegal drugs, and of his conducting various human experimentations with illegal substances. Apparently, the overwhelming evidence had been left anonymously but Kurotsuchi had just laughed as he was taken away, as if he had known that Gin had sold him out. He was given the punishment of a life sentence in prison.

As fate would have it, he died in the same year as Kaien, as a result of hanging himself in his prison cell.

Matsumoto watched as her younger self was tormented by her experience day after day, all until one afternoon.

.

She had been sitting in a park, smoking. She had picked up the bad habit as a way to escape her visions by drowning herself in the feeling of nicotine-induced pleasure.

"You're Masaki's friend, right?"

She looked up to see a man approach her, and she stiffened. Even though a year had passed, she still felt utterly frightened of men in general.

"Y-You're Sajin, right? Kaien's friend?"

"That's right." He sat next to her, but left a noticeable space between them. "Don't worry, I won't do anything."

Her eyes widened.

"Before you ask, yes I know. And before you go asking Masaki, yes, I'm the only person she told. I'm sorry for what happened to you, though I'm sure my condolences aren't what you're looking for."

"W-Why did she tell you?"

"Because Masaki thought that I could help you. I don't really know how, but Masaki is putting all her hopes onto me and the least I can do is try." Sajin shrugged.

She let out a wisp of smoke.

"I didn't even tell Masaki this because I knew that silly girl would cry, but I just aborted a baby."

Sajin didn't reply, and waited for her to continue.

"It was from that day- I couldn't bear to have that man's child. I love children- but I just c-couldn't..."

She broke down into tears, and she cried for a long time. After a while, Sajin placed a tissue between them and she took it gratefully.

"I don't know what to say. I don't know how to make your pain go away."

"I'm not expecting you to," she laughed and hiccupped at the same time. "It's enough that you're bothering to listen."

"It's not a bother. But I see what Masaki meant that only I could cheer you up."

She looked at him curiously, as she blew her nose.

"I understand that you've studied childcare?"

She nodded.

"And do you currently have suitable employment?"

She shook her head, "Unless you count working at a grocery store part-time as suitable employment."

"Then, you may be in luck. Just recently, my grandfather, Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto, passed away."

She didn't know what to say to that, as she murmured a quiet 'I'm sorry for your loss'.

"Thanks, but that's not my point. My grandfather was a rich man and he opened a small orphanage in Karakura. He loved children. In his will, he chose me as his successor to all of his wealth, but the conditions of his will state that I have to continue running his orphanage."

"But, weren't you planning on opening your own restaurant as head-chef?"

He turned to look at her. She shrugged, "When Masaki's not talking about Isshin or their little girls or Ichigo, she usually talks about you. You're a good friend of hers."

"Though it's not exactly the future I planned for myself," Komamura spoke after a pause, "I don't want to shut down an orphanage just for my own selfishness."

She nodded at that in respect.

"And although somehow my grandfather managed it, I can't run it by myself. I was looking for a supervisor, to help sort out paperwork and be there for the children. I was hoping you'd be interested- you'll be paid well."

Her mouth fell open. "A-Are you sure you want me? I-I'm-"

"You're perfect for the job," Sajin spoke in a concrete voice, "don't sell yourself short. Masaki told me how you excel around children- how you've always cared for them."

She began to cry again, with her hand on her lower stomach. She felt Sajin tentatively pat her on the back.

"You'll be fine. Don't look behind you, just keep walking forward."

And walking forward was all she had done.

.

Matsumoto's eyes snapped open, and she realized that she had been pulled from her dream.

She stretched, and put on her sleeping robe. She stepped into a pair of bright pink plushy slippers that Unohana had given to her for her birthday. She walked out into the dark hallway, feeling the night's breeze waft through her hair from an open window.

She was surprised to see a light on downstairs, and curiously walked down the dark stairs to the bright kitchen.

"Do you never sleep?" She asked, as Komamura turned to her from the stove.

"I could ask you the same."

She shrugged, "Oh, you're baking. You always bake when you're stressed out."

"I do not."

"You sooo do."

He gave her a small huff, and she giggled.

_Keep walking forward._

She smiled at Komamura, who busily moved about the kitchen in a very unfitting lacy apron. He lifted an eyebrow at seeing her smile at him from the corner of his eye.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing," Matsumoto waved off, "just remembering a bit of good advice you gave me a while ago. Not telling what it was though."

"Oh? Then here's some more good advice- go to sleep. You'll be grumpy tomorrow otherwise and ruin your appetite for the day."

Matsumoto laughed, "Yes, mother. But be sure to take your own advice too."

"I can't sleep," he suddenly admitted, "I keep thinking about Kaien."

Matsumoto sat down on a kitchen chair, feeling as if it was going to be a long conversation.

"He was your best friend, it's a given that you would remember him."

"No, it's not that," he shook his head, "I keep thinking about the way he must've felt. The day where he was handed Ichigo and was told that his ex-girlfriend, his cousin, and his cousin's children were no longer living."

"It must have been quite a shock," Matsumoto nodded. "After all, he loved Masaki and Isshin, and hearing the news of their deaths must've really hurt him."

"But that's not the only thing he found out," Komamura looked at her. "Did you know that before that day, Kaien had no idea that he had a child with Masaki? He never knew about the existence of Ichigo being his own creation- he had always assumed that Ichigo had been Masaki and Isshin's biological son."

Matsumoto's eyes widened, and Komamura wisely placed a glass of water in front of her.

"Miyako hadn't known," she said, gulping down the water, "but I had no idea that Kaien hadn't known about Ichigo either."

"That's because Masaki had begged Isshin and I not to tell him. She said she didn't want to use their child as an excuse to tie Kaien down to a relationship that he wanted no part in."

"She always _was_ too caring for her own good," Matsumoto smiled slightly. Komamura watched the cake he was baking gradually inflate in the oven, and he finally set his apron down and sat across from Matsumoto.

"That's why I keep thinking, how did Kaien feel suddenly knowing that he had a son? How did he bring Ichigo back to life again from the boy's depression? Just what happened that made Ichigo snap towards Kaien?"

"All questions we have no idea about unless we ask one of two involved," Matsumoto spoke, turning her glass. "And with Kaien gone, there's only one we can ask. But with Ichigo's memory loss, we can't push him. Pushing him will only lead him closer to the edge."

Komamura was quiet, as he nodded.

"Don't you find it sad though," Matsumoto started, "that as Kaien tried to make everything up for his first son, his second one suffered just the same? Tōshirō knew about Kaien, but Kaien never even found out about him as his second son."

"It is indeed a tragedy."

"I should've been more careful with having Tōshirō around Ichigo," Matsumoto sighed despairingly, leaning forward on her arms on the table. "I could've prevented Ichigo from learning who Kaien really was. I could've prevented him from wanting to know everything."

"There's nothing we can do about that now. They've already made contact. We can only hope for the best now, and hope that Tōshirō doesn't lead to Ichigo regaining his memory." Komamura pulled off his oven mitts, and stared at them in thought.

They sat in silence for a minute, with the only sound being a soft hissing from the oven. Komamura spoke up quietly.

"We should call Ichigo's doctor; maybe Urahara will have an idea on what to do."

"But what if bringing back to the hospital awakens Ichigo's memories again? We can't take that risk," Matsumoto looked frustrated. "I have just barely seen the boy want to live, and I don't want him back in that room, strapped down and trying to kill himself."

"I know, Rangiku. More than anything, I know. Every time I saw him make a friend with the other children, or laugh and have fun like a normal child- those have been the happiest moments for me."

"Yeah, same here," Matsumoto breathed out softly, "it felt like we could make it all up to Masaki, Isshin, and Kaien, to see their child so happy and still living his life."

They were both tense and quiet again.

"What did Miyako say to you as she left?" Matsumoto asked, twirling her glass on the table again.

"She wanted permission to adopt Tōshirō."

Matsumoto would have dropped the glass if she were holding it, "_What_?"

"Rangiku, she knows that she hasn't been a role-model mother."

"She hasn't been a mother at all," Matsumoto jabbed. "I would've said no right away- she has no right after all she did today."

"I know. But seeing Tōshirō made her think some things through. She asked me for permission because she trusts me more since I was a friend of Kaien's."

"And inversely, she didn't ask me because she trusts me less since I was a friend of Masaki's, right?" Matsumoto asked dryly.

"I don't think she'll ever forgive Masaki."

"Masaki did nothing wrong," Matsumoto growled. "If anything, it was stupid Kaien's fault for not picking up on his feelings!"

"I know you're upset, but please don't insult Kaien when he can no longer defend himself."

They stared at each other evenly, before Matsumoto nodded.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for," Matsumoto sighed heavily, "it's impossible in life to always be sure of your feelings. Kaien was just the same."

"Indeed, and perhaps he is to be blamed somewhat but it is not completely his fault."

"Just don't tell me that you gave her permission to take Tōshirō away."

At Komamura's silence, she stood and whispered in disbelief, "You didn't."

"I had no choice."

"Sajin," she collapsed back onto her chair, "do you realize what you've done? Tōshirō isn't ready to go back to her! She slapped him when they talked for the very first time, just because he called her 'Mother'!"

"She said that she's willing to try all over again, and that she wants to try to be a real mother to him this time. She said that she'll stop chasing after Kaien's ghost, and live her life with her own determination. Rangiku, I realize this will be tough, but it has to be done."

"Has to be done?" Matsumoto parroted in incredulity. "You _have_ to ruin Tōshirō's life? Is that what 'has to be done'? Sajin, Tōshirō needs Ichigo and they- oh. Oh, Sajin- you didn't-"

"I did, Rangiku. You saw it too, didn't you? Tōshirō's presence is annihilating Ichigo's psyche- the one we've tried so hard to protect."

"That was just- That was just shock! I mean, Ichigo couldn't believe that Tōshirō hadn't told them that they were half-brothers was all," Matsumoto attempted.

"Rangiku, you saw the look on his face- it was the same expression we saw on him back in that hospital room."

She _had_ noticed it- the boy's blank and vacant gaze that only snapped out of its emptiness to beg for death. She remembered it all too well.

"I was hoping that I was wrong," Matusmoto groaned softly, "I was hoping that it was all just a big misunderstanding, and that he would forgive Tōshirō since they were always so close- that nothing would change."

"Their closeness is probably what hurt Ichigo the most when he discovered Tōshirō was hiding the past from him. Didn't it sound familiar to you? Instead of Ichigo saying 'I want to die', he's being changed to say 'I want to die for Tōshirō' and both are dangerous for his mental stability."

"Then, we need to separate them," Matsumoto looked panicked, and then she finally understood as Komamura looked at her with a nod.

"And what better way to separate them than to send Tōshirō away?" He spoke quietly.

"They'll never forgive us, Sajin. Neither Ichigo nor Tōshirō will like this," Matsumoto looked worried now.

"They don't have to like it. They only have to accept it, and in time they shall."

"I want to see them happy, Sajin," Matsumoto looked close to crying.

"I do as well, but I also want to keep our promise to Kaien. The one we made when Kaien brought Ichigo to us at the orphanage for the very first time."

"I remember, I remember."

.

It had been a sunny day when there had been a sudden knock on the orphanage's door. The door opened with a creaking noise.

"Kaien? What are you doing here? How's Ichigo?"

"Just saying hello to an old friend, Sajin," Kaien smiled ruefully, "and my son has been doing alright."

Sajin almost asked 'which son, Tōshirō or Ichigo?' but stopped talking as he saw the orange-haired boy peek out from behind Kaien. It had been four years since Sajin had seen the ten-year old boy.

"How have you two been?"

Ichigo had been in a deep withdrawal into himself after his family's deaths, and it was still a shock to Sajin seeing the boy up and about again.

Kaien let a hand run through Ichigo's hair and spoke fondly, "Say hello, you runt."

"Hello," Ichigo giggled, as Kaien ruffled his hair.

"He likes it when I do that," Kaien grinned, "And to answer your question, we're still fine."

"I'm glad," Sajin said genuinely, looking down softly at the boy.

"Sajin, I'm sure you know that I didn't come here to just make small talk."

Sajin immediately stepped back.

"You had better come inside."

Ichigo ran past Kaien and Sajin in excitement at the new place.

"H-Hey! Ichigo Kurosaki, you come back here this instant!" Kaien called, chasing after his little boy. Sajin had a moment of pure joy for his friend at experiencing the love of a parent. He shut the door with a small smile on his face.

Ichigo had run into the backyard as soon as he had seen it. It was lush and green and-

He tripped, and landed on someone. His wide brown eyes met surprised turquoise ones. Ichigo was intrigued by the unique colour, as he stared in awe.

"Ichigo, you brat!" Kaien rushed over, and pulled Ichigo off of a small and slim boy who looked to be about five years old. "Apologize to the other brat, right now!"

Ichigo looked sullen at being forced apologize mumbled a 'sorry' and continued to run, as he dashed back into the house.

"Ichigo!" Kaien chased after his orange bullet, and the snowy-haired boy slowly sat up with a dazed look on his face.

"Come here, you!" Kaien caught Ichigo, who shrieked with laughter.

"I can see that you two are having fun as always," Rangiku stepped into the kitchen, apparently having had taken a shower, as her wet curls dripped water to the floor.

She watched as Kaien caged Ichigo in his arms, the boy still laughing jovially.

"I am getting too old for this," Kaien groaned, but nuzzled the boy's hair. "He almost squished some other brat out there. For a second, I thought Ichigo had knocked over some old geezer- why does the kid have white hair?"

There was an awkward silence that descended in the room, only broken by Ichigo's giggles as he continued to try to escape from his father.

"What?" Kaien looked confused. "Was it something I said?"

Suddenly, the door to the backyard opened again, and the white-haired boy entered the kitchen. He paused as all the adults looked at him and he blushed prettily.

"Introduce yourself, little one," Sajin spoke softly, and Rangiku gave him a look of surprise.

"M'Tōshirō." The boy shuffled his feet, looking like he had wanted to escape from their stares.

Ichigo finally managed to slip out of Kaien's grip and strode to Tōshirō, the smaller boy visibly leaning back from this new presence.

"I like your eyes and your hair," Ichigo spoke with a sunny smile. "They're pretty."

Tōshirō blushed again, not knowing if he was being complimented or being made fun of.

"Th-Thanks."

"And thus started their journey of true love," Rangiku narrated with a girlish sigh and Kaien blanched and looked at her weirdly.

"My Ichigo is not ready yet!" Kaien protested. "And I want him marrying a pretty girl, not some pretty boy!"

"Pssh, spoilsport," Rangiku shoved him with a laugh. "Tōshirō, go back outside and play with Ichigo while we talk about boring adult stuff."

Tōshirō nodded, but Ichigo took action first, grabbing the younger boy's hand and pulled him along as they headed outside.

Kaien genuinely looked worried for his son when Rangiku cackled evilly and made a heart with her hands. Sajin rolled his eyes uncharacteristically, and set a cup of coffee down in front of Kaien.

"Young Tōshirō came to live with us five years ago," Sajin suddenly spoke up and Rangiku gave him a look again. "He was left here by his mother."

"Oh?" Kaien spoke, watching the two boys sit under a tree through the kitchen window. "I suppose that's how old my other kid would be too, huh?"

Both Sajin and Rangiku gave Kaien looks of utter shock, but the man obliviously missed both.

"Y-You don't visit y-your other son?" Rangiku let out. Kaien turned to her in surprise.

"So I have another son?"

"You didn't know whether you have another daughter or son?" Sajin spoke this time in disbelief.

Kaien shook his head, "When I cut off all ties with Miyako, I swore not to appear in front of her or our child again. It was just after it had been born, that I chose to leave. I guessed that it would've been harder for both Miyako and the child to have me back, just for me to leave again because of the divorce, so I decided not to see the baby at all. I'm surprised that you two know, though."

He turned to Sajin, "I suppose Miyako must've told you, huh? How is he? I mean, it's a boy right?"

Neither Sajin nor Rangiku answered, making Kaien think they were also unaware about his apparent son.

"I guess you guys wouldn't know about him either," Kaien shrugged, and looked outside again where Ichigo and Tōshirō lay on their backs, gazing at clouds. "That boy- his name is Tōshirō, is it? It's a good and strong name that I've actually always liked. I can't believe his mother just left him here. It's a pity that parents can't be proper parents to their own children."

Rangiku opened her mouth to call him out as a hypocrite, but Sajin strongly shook his head at her signalling 'no'.

"But I guess every parent has their reasons," Kaien continued on, not noticing his friends' reactions, "no one ever willingly leaves their precious child- how could they ever want to?"

Rangiku stood from her chair, making it screech as she hurried to leave the room, but not before Kaien had caught sight of the tears that ran down her face.

"Rangiku?!"

"Let her go, Kaien," Sajin sighed, "she gets overemotional over these things."

Sajin was careful not to mention anything about Rangiku or her abortion. He went on to easier topics, like Ichigo's schooling and food habits, to which Kaien readily began complaining about his slacker kid who was a super picky eater.

When Rangiku finally returned with her eyes swollen from crying, Kaien decided that it was time to go.

"You should stay here for the night," Sajin was saying.

"No, I have to go; I've taken up enough of your time," Kaien stood, "but thanks for the coffee."

Rangiku heard a crash from upstairs, and excused herself as she rushed back upstairs to check on the other children of the orphanage.

Sajin nodded at Kaien, but before he could head out to call Ichigo and Tōshirō inside, Kaien held his arm.

"Sajin, I came here today to ask you something."

Sajin paused, and slowly turned towards his friend.

"Why didn't you tell me all those years ago that Masaki was pregnant with my child? That Ichigo had been mine, all along? I had always thought him to be Isshin's."

"It wasn't my choice, Kaien," Sajin spoke, unable to look his best friend in the eye, "It was Masaki's decision. She said she didn't want to use a child to tie you down with when you weren't interested in her."

Kaien let go of Sajin's arm as if he had been burned, and Sajin was horrified to find the deep hurt that lingered in Kaien's eyes.

"I guess I wouldn't have told myself either if I were her. After all, I hurt both her and Miyako, didn't I? She must've hated me- I was such a fool," Kaien gave a strained smile.

Sajin took Kaien's shoulder with a force and quickness that surprised them both.

"Kaien, she loved you enough to have your child. She loved you," Sajin spoke intensely.

Kaien nodded and gave another weak smile, "I know. I only wish I could've told her that I loved her back before she passed on with Isshin. But I'm sure I'll get to see her again when I die, and then I'll apologize to her. Until then, I'm sure Isshin will take good care of her for me up there."

Rangiku had just climbed back down from the stairs again, and joined the other two men.

Being his best friend for so many years, Sajin could detect Kaien's false confidence from miles away. Sajin hugged the younger man tightly before letting go. Kaien and Rangiku both looked shocked.

"Th-That was the first time I've seen you hug _anyone_," Rangiku mumbled.

"That was the first time he's ever hugged me," Kaien echoed. "I mean, I used to jump him a lot, but never the opposite. He's always a sly fox you see, never really getting close- except when he absolutely needs to for a friend."

"Can you people try to be serious for once?" Sajin threw a dish cloth at Kaien's face, and the younger man squawked indignantly.

Sajin walked to the door leading to the backyard, "Ichigo, your father is calling for you!"

To their surprise, sometime while they had been talking, Ichigo had managed to secure Tōshirō's lap as a pillow and was sleeping restfully against the boy under the shade of a tree.

"Oh my," Rangiku elbowed Kaien teasingly.

Rangiku laughed and even Komamura chuckled at Kaien's reaction, as Kaien all but ran to shake Ichigo awake and hit him on the head for falling asleep on his new friend.

"But 'Shirō was comfy," Ichigo whined holding his head where he had been whacked, as he walked back into the kitchen with his father. "Can't we stay here tonight? 'Shirō says there are other kids here, and I wanna play with them too!"

"No son, we're going home _now,_" Kaien spoke through gritted teeth, dragging Ichigo towards the door.

"Bye 'Shirō!" Ichigo called as he left, and Tōshirō gave him a doe-eyed stare and nodded.

"Thanks for today," Kaien spoke as he helped Ichigo into his shoes. Ichigo was struggling with his laces and was concentrating on them hard. Kaien looked up from his son, and gave a briefly serious look before he continued, "Sajin, Rangiku... can you promise me that whatever happens, you'll always be there for Ichigo?"

His best friend and his ex-girlfriend's best friend looked at him in surprise, before both of them quickly nodded.

"You can count on us, Kaien," Sajin spoke for the both of them, "no matter what, we'll always protect him."

Kaien gave a grateful smile as he stepped out of the house, "Thanks Sajin, and thanks Rangiku."

Tōshirō peeked at the father and son from behind Rangiku's legs. Kaien ruffled Tōshirō's hair.

"See you around, old geezer," Kaien snickered. Tōshirō pouted at that, but looked at Kaien in an almost awed expression. He had never known the feeling of a father and felt oddly envious of his new friend, Ichigo, for being able to stay by Kaien's side. Tōshirō felt a faint lamenting feeling as Kaien pulled his hand away from his hair.

Rangiku hadn't the heart to watch the interaction, and Sajin looked pained, as Kaien walked away from Tōshirō, the son he never knew he had.

"Ah, Kaien?"

Kaien turned to see Yoruichi walk up to the doorway.

"Y-Yoruichi? What are you doing here?"

"What, no 'hello'?" Yoruichi punched his arm.

Kaien blushed before he mumbled a hello.

Rangiku looked between her two friends with a careful eye, watching as Kaien and Yoruichi seemed to linger near each other closer than before.

"I came to see the kids," Yoruichi smiled, "and I have some treats that I made."

"Not more of your cookies!" Rangiku gasped dramatically. "The kids caused an uproar fighting over those! Goodness, I never knew how good a cook you were before that incident, Yoru."

"Well, she's been getting practice, and Ichigo loves her spaghetti," Kaien smiled at Yoruichi fondly, "she's been bringing Ichigo and I dinner a lot these days."

"She… has?" Rangiku turned to look at her friend with a suspicious eye, Yoruichi turned slightly pink and shrugged.

Sajin also silently observed Yoruichi.

"W-Well, I won't be able to tonight," Yoruichi hurried to add, "think you can manage?"

"Hey, I've managed this far, I'm sure I can make something edible," Kaien grinned. "Anyway, we'll be taking our leave now, see you around Yoruichi."

Ichigo tugged at Kaien's arm as they started walking away, "M'hungry, Dad!"

"What do you want for dinner tonight, runt?"

"Fish curry!"

"We had that yesterday! You're going to turn into a fish at this rate!"

"Ehhhh?!"

Sajin and Rangiku watched the scene with warmth as the father and son bickered, and continued watching the pair as they walked down the path until they were out of sight.

"Come in, Yoruichi," Sajin beckoned, "the kids are upstairs."

The three adults walked back in the house, but Sajin and Yoruichi paused as Rangiku spoke.

"Are you sure we shouldn't have told Kaien about Tōshirō?" Rangiku spoke softly.

Yoruichi looked momentarily confused, before she understood. After all, Rangiku barely hid anything from her and Retsu.

"About Tōshirō being his son? Leave it," Sajin spoke, "it's better off thi-"

He turned to see Tōshirō staring at him with wide eyes.

"Kaien... is my Dad?" His tiny and innocent voice asked. Sajin, Yoruichi, and Rangiku stared at the boy and then stared at each other with similar looks in their eyes at the slip.

Rangiku broke the silence first with a partial swear.

"Oh, shi- shoot."

.

They had explained to Tōshirō that what he had heard was a mistake, but the boy was sharper than they had given him credit for.

"I can't believe Tōshirō went through my desk for his file," Matsumoto sighed, "but I should've expected it after he learned who Kaien really was."

"It must have hurt him to see Ichigo still have what he had lost- a father," Komamura spoke, getting up to check on the cake in the oven. "And it must have been even more painful for him hearing of Kaien's death, knowing who Kaien really was."

"But now Tōshirō's finally reunited with Ichigo." Matsumoto surmised. "Sajin, I don't think he'll let Ichigo go so easily after finally finding someone to love him. He's been so lonely all his life. I should've known something was up- Tōshirō had never gotten so attached to anyone so quickly before."

"It was because he had known about everything from the beginning."

"He'll struggle with all he has," Matsumoto whispered. "Even if Miyako has come to her senses and comes back to adopt him, he probably won't leave. He'll do everything he possibly can to keep Ichigo as his half-brother- to keep Ichigo by his side."

"Just just like how Miyako struggled to keep Kaien. And just like how Yoruichi struggled and couldn't forgive Ichigo, because she couldn't let go of Kaien," Komamura opened the oven, and took out the warm sweet-smelling dessert.

"What was that saying? 'History repeats itself'?" Matsumoto chuckled bitterly.

"I hope not, for both Tōshirō and Ichigo's sakes. Because for Kaien, it meant being miserable with someone he didn't love, and for Miyako it meant falling apart all for a single person."

"And for Yoruichi, it meant being trapped in her love," Matsumoto added, with a small exhale of frustration.

Both Komamura and Matsumoto were quiet, as Komamura set the cake in the fridge.

"Can I have some of tha-?"

"No. It's for the children."

"You really are a big softie, Sajin," Matsumoto rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"I can't make their worries go away, so this is the least I can do for them."

"I wish I could cheer them up as well," Matsumoto sighed again, resting her head on her folded arms upon the table.

"You do," Komamura looked at her, "they trust you and they love you. Just you being there is good enough for them."

"You always know what to say," Matsumoto laughed. "But thanks, Sajin."

The man nodded and shooed the woman away to bed, as he began icing the cooling cake with pink frosting, hoping that it would bring a much-needed smile to the children's faces.


	16. Catalyst

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Welcome back to WtKO. In the end of this chapter and in the next chapter, there will be shocking things! Won't say anything more, but I implore your hearts to remain calm. I'm working hard in summer courses, but I will also dutifully do my best to write the next chapter and will continue until I can give this story a proper ending. As always, all of your comments are encouraging, and thank you for all of your support. Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

The children were young, but that did not mean they were oblivious or stupid.

As they had stood terrified in the hallway, they had heard every shouted word Miyako had flung at Ichigo and Tōshirō, and then heard Ichigo's subsequent responses, as well as the conversations that followed after in the room.

Only when Komamura had returned to the orphanage from his errand, did the children leave the scene to tug him up the stairs in wide-eyed panic, and show him into the chaotic room where Tōshirō's mother was trying to strangle her own son.

They knew something was deeply wrong, and even Rukia and Soi Fon had trouble sleeping at night.

It was a rarity that Byakuya seldom acquiesced to, but that night, he allowed his little sister to slip in beside him on his bed. Soon after, Soi Fon had climbed in next to Rukia, and before Byakuya could realize what was happening, Kenpachi, with an armful of a sleeping Yachiru, pushed his way into the bed.

Counting backwards in his head, Byakuya tried to calm himself. He sat up on his crowded bed with an annoyed look, and he glanced towards Ichigo's bed as he did. His ire calmed somewhat, dampened by the worry he felt for the orange-haired boy.

Ichigo was also sitting up on his bed. Moonlight from a window surrounded his figure, making him shine with a soft glow. Ichigo was looking to the side towards the window with a listless look. Beside him lay a sleeping Tōshirō, who had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped around Ichigo's waist, as if he were afraid that letting go would mean Ichigo disappearing or going someplace far away. Ichigo made no move to leave Tōshirō's tight hold.

"Ichigo," Byakuya whispered, and he felt the younger ones in his bed twitch as they heard him speak, "are you okay?"

Ichigo gave no sign that he had heard Byakuya, and the empty expression on his face remained.

Byakuya couldn't bring himself to be irritated as the invaders in his bed trembled, and he looked down to see them staring at him with a silent plea in their eyes. He sighed, and carefully stepped over them as he got out of bed. He gave Yachiru a little pat on her head as she slept, and Kenpachi pulled together a small shaky smile of gratitude.

He knew they were all worried sick about Ichigo.

He stepped towards Ichigo, who still looked lifeless. As Byakuya approached, almost mechanically, Ichigo turned to look at him and stretched a possessive arm over Tōshirō, as if wanting to shield him from Byakuya.

"Ichigo, I said, are you alright?"

It unnerved him to see Ichigo look so hostile and empty at the same time.

"I'm fine," Ichigo replied.

"You're not," Byakuya shook his head softly.

Ichigo stayed silent.

"Ichigo, you said that you would protect Rukia and me- you said you would protect everyone because you were the oldest one here. But Ichigo, you need someone to protect you too. You can't do everything by yourself."

Ichigo didn't reply and continued to look at the younger boy cautiously.

"Ichigo, if you feel troubled, just say so. If anything, I can listen," Byakuya let his hand reach out and fall on Ichigo's stiffening shoulder. "We're all worried about you."

"I'm fine," Ichigo repeated.

Byakuya sighed in frustration, but gave Ichigo a one-armed hug. When he pulled away, Ichigo had paled but still did not respond.

"Ichigo, we're here for you," Byakuya spoke simply.

"I-I know, but I don't need anything except for Tōshirō," a light that had begun to brighten Ichigo's eyes was waning again, "Tōshirō needs me."

"And what if he doesn't?" Byakuya spoke gently, "What if he grows up and gets stronger- and doesn't need you anymore?"

Ichigo looked horrified at the thought, but stubbornly shook his head.

"He needs me."

Byakuya gave a look of utmost melancholy and pity at Ichigo.

"We're here for you," he said again strongly, "even if you don't need us, or even want us by your side; we will still be here for you… so please don't go somewhere we can't reach you, Ichigo."

Ichigo didn't reply, and Byakuya looked hopeless as he waited for a response but was not answered. He realized that an expression devoid of any emotion had returned on Ichigo's face, as Ichigo stared ahead blankly, unseeing of anything.

Byakuya gently hugged Ichigo again, but this time Ichigo didn't react. Byakuya slowly went back to his bed, where he pretended that he couldn't hear the younger children sniffling and in tears.

.

"Hmm."

"What is it, Renji?"

"Somethin's different about ya, Ichigo," Renji muttered, as he sheathed his Zanpakutō. "You're still strong, but somethin's off."

"Pfft, you're just sore that you lost again," Ichigo laughed, as they left the training grounds. "We've been fighting all night, but you still haven't won a single match against me!"

"You just got lucky!" The redhead replied heatedly, but looked disgruntled at the ragged state of his uniform while Ichigo's clothes remained relatively tidy. "Man, the guys at the Division are going to totally make fun of me fer losin' against ya again."

"Then start winning sometime," Ichigo elbowed Renji with a grin.

Suddenly a black butterfly fluttered next to Ichigo.

"Huh? What's a Hell Butterfly doing here?" Renji looked at it, and made to grab it, but it danced out of his reach. "Is it some important order?"

As if in a trance, Ichigo reached for it and felt the butterfly sit on his outstretched palm with an airy touch. The sound of exactly seven bells was heard.

"Are those bells?" Renji looked confused. "Why would you be sent a message with just the sound of bells?"

"No, I know what they mean," Ichigo gave a very small and mysterious smile. "I should go."

"Where?"

"Back to where I have to go- by his side," Ichigo answered after a pause, and Renji watched as Ichigo used his Shunpo and flash-stepped away in seconds, without another word.

.

As the other children got up early that morning, Ichigo was still awake, his eyes rimmed with red. He was still staring vacantly and protectively holding Tōshirō to him. The children felt disheartened at this, feeling as if Ichigo would never go back to being himself.

He gave no reply as they wished him 'good morning', and Soi Fon rushed out of the room. Rukia looked similarly upset, and Byakuya led her out of the room with one last look at Ichigo. Kenpachi, carrying Yachiru closely, looked like he wanted to say something but he glanced down at his still sleeping baby sister and decided to talk to Ichigo later. They all closed the door behind them.

After twenty minutes, the clock rang its seven bells.

All of a sudden, Ichigo snapped out of his daze, and realized that he had not slept the entire night. He felt strangely awake though, and his mind was bustling as if he had been running or was on some sort of adrenaline rush.

Ichigo slowly he felt Tōshirō awaken in his arms. He looked down to see Tōshirō snuggle into him, before letting out a contented sigh.

"G'mornin' Ichi," he mumbled.

"Good morning, Tōshirō."

With one last moment of enjoying Ichigo's warmth, Tōshirō blinked open his eyes. He looked confused that Ichigo was already sitting up and alert.

"Did you get up early, today?" Tōshirō asked drowsily.

"Mm, something like that."

Tōshirō was close to falling asleep again, when Ichigo shook him lightly.

"Breakfast should be soon, Tōshirō."

Tōshirō looked up sleepily, and glanced across the room, "Oh, Bya's already up?"

Tōshirō stretched a bit, before pulling away and climbing out of bed.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth," Tōshirō smiled and left the room, heading towards the bathroom.

Whether he had forced himself to be oblivious or was truly naive, he had missed the strange hollow demeanor Ichigo had taken on.

Ichigo felt even emptier without Tōshirō close to him, and like a baby bird looking for its mother, he stumbled to his feet fully intending to find Tōshirō.

To his surprise, Komamura opened the room's door. He didn't say anything for a long moment before he finally spoke, "Breakfast is ready, Ichigo. Come downstairs."

"I'll come with Tōshirō."

"Ichigo," Komamura looked pained but there was a warning in his voice, "come downstairs, _now_."

Ichigo stared at Komamura with spiteful resistance at being forced away from Tōshirō, but he eventually nodded and followed the man downstairs.

.

Matsumoto was sitting on the kitchen table, and Ichigo joined her. Komamura went to the stove to stir whatever he was making for lunch with a ladle.

"Good morning Ichigo," Matsumoto spoke first, "you look tired."

"Couldn't sleep," Ichigo answered her curtly.

"Well, that makes the two of us," Matsumoto blew on her steaming coffee, "d-did it have to do with what happened yesterday?"

"No," Ichigo watched her carefully, and continued in his deadened voice, "It had to do with Kaien."

He saw Matsumoto's eyes widen visibly and look at him before returning to her coffee. Komamura had been turned, but Ichigo noted how Komamura's back had tensed at the mention of Kaien's name.

"I-Is that so," Matsumoto replied faintly, inwardly begging the fates not to let Ichigo ask any more questions, or he would uncover the dark and bloody secret they had been trying so frantically to hide. She silently cursed at not even being able to protect a single boy.

"You knew him, didn't you?" Ichigo asked, his emptiness being pushed away for a strange fire that was lighting up his insides.

In that single moment, he banished his hollow and empty self away, and his hands held the table tightly in his need to know the truth. Something in him was pushing at him to know, to dig out his true memories from the shores of his mental consciousness.

Something inside him urged him to stop running, and turn to face the reality he had dismissed.

Matsumoto looked nauseous, but Ichigo looked at her expectantly for answers that he so desperately needed.

"I-I can't say."

Ichigo angrily stood from his chair, the chair screeching as it was forcibly pushed back.

"Why are you and Sa-Ko hiding this from me? Why can't you tell me about him? Why is this all 'for my own good'?"

Matsumoto continued to keep her eyes down to her coffee which had been steadily growing cold. She said nothing.

"Please Ms. Matsumoto, I need to know! Whenever I hear Kaien's name, something happens to me- something weird- and I feel like I can't breathe."

Matsumoto's long hair shielded her eyes from view, but Ichigo saw her jaw tighten.

"I need to know," he pleaded. "He was my father, right? But there's something else."

"He was..." Matsumoto helplessly looked to Komamura for aid, but the older man still had his back turned to the both of them. "He was... a friend of Masaki's, your mother. Mr. Komamura and I were also his friends, along with Dr. Unohana and Ms. Shihōin. Masaki and Kaien were seeing each other, and then they had you."

Ichigo blinked, Matsumoto still looked like she was hiding something as she refused to meet his eyes. He was full of doubts and knew that it couldn't be something as simple as that, otherwise they wouldn't have gone through such great pains in avoiding talking about the mysterious man.

"You're not telling me the whole truth, are you?" He took a deep breath in, "Does this have to do with the fact that I killed Kaien?"

Matsumoto dropped her cup, and it shattered on the floor. Ichigo jumped at the noise, and took a hasty step back from the spattering coffee.

Ichigo blinked at Matsumoto's reaction, before Komamura turned to him and spun him around to face the older man. Komamura held Ichigo's shoulders tightly with both hands.

"Where did you hear that?" Komamura asked sternly.

"I-I overheard-"

"It's not true. Kaien Shiba was killed in a robbery attempt- that is all."

Matsumoto's hands were still shaking as she was gathering up the pieces of her broken mug. The coffee had sloshed into a puddle, and Matsumoto stared down at it, not meeting Ichigo's eyes as looked at her.

"Is that really true, Ms. Matsumoto?"

Matsumoto was saved from answering him, as the girls climbed down the stairs, and chattered their way to the kitchen.

"G'mornin'!" Rukia and Soi Fon chorused the greeting at a fairly unreasonable volume.

"Good morning," Matsumoto replied, and Ichigo watched the clear glimpse of relief on her face.

Komamura went back to the kitchen to put toast on a platter, while Matsumoto put up a facade of calmness and normalcy as she cleaned the spilled coffee.

"Where are the other boys?" Matsumoto asked casually, doing her best not to look at Ichigo's accusing stare.

"Havin' a toothpaste war," Soi Fon spoke simply, with a careless shrug and a poorly hid smirk. Matsumoto looked stupefied for a second before rushing upstairs.

Komamura sighed, as he grabbed a mop and followed the woman.

Soi Fon exchanged a high-five with Rukia.

"They're sooo in trouble," Soi Fon cackled. She turned to Ichigo, who still stood with his chair pushed back. She gave him an odd look.

"Ah, yeah, good morning guys," he murmured, sitting back down. He felt agitated as he had finally gotten an answer from the adults, but it was vague and left him as confused as ever.

"A-Ar' ya okay now, Ichi?" Soi Fon asked quietly. Rukia looked at him with concerned eyes as well.

Ichigo looked surprised.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Both girls looked utterly relieved. Soi Fon opened her mouth to precisely explain why Ichigo's empty voiceless stares had scared them senseless, but was interrupted by the boys stomping down the stairs.

Though still upset, Ichigo's lip twitched upwards in an amused smile when he saw the boys come downstairs. They were all grumbling and covered in flecks of toothpaste. Matsumoto was scolding them the entire way down, as she carried Yachiru in her arms.

"I can't believe you boys! I would have never expected this from any of you!"

Kenpachi gave an unapologetic grin, while Byakuya was glaring at the boy. It seemed that Tōshirō had unwillingly gotten dragged into the mess without a reason.

"He started it," Byakuya pointed at Kenpachi.

"What? I was just showin' him how to bwush his teeths nice and shiney clean," Kenpachi looked like as if he had done Byakuya a great favour.

"I _know_ how to brush my teeth!"

Rukia and Soi Fon giggled.

"You guys are all dumb," Tōshirō mumbled, clearly looking irritated that he had been forced to be a participant in the toothpaste war.

He sat down next to Ichigo, who immediately rubbed off a noticeable mark of toothpaste from Tōshirō's cheek gently with his thumb. Tōshirō looked at him softly but noticeably pulled away from Ichigo's touch, much to the older boy's surprise.

"So why did Tōshirō get involved in this so-called war?" Matsumoto spoke, looking annoyed as she wiped toothpaste that had gotten in Byakuya's long hair.

"It's because Ken called Snowy a 'mama's boy'," Byakuya replied, looking at Kenpachi with displeasure and he winced as Matsumoto tugged at him.

"And then I told him that I didn't have anyone to call mother," Tōshirō said coldly but with a spark of hurt in his voice, his small hand clenching. "An' then he said Ichigo was my mother. Then I hit him with the toothpaste."

There was a silence in the kitchen, before Ichigo stood abruptly and walked to Kenpachi. He took the boy's arm with some force, and began dragging the younger boy upstairs.

"Ichigo?!" Matsumoto at once made to stop the orange-haired boy.

"It's okay Ms. Matsumoto, I'm only going to talk to him."

"Ya, wer' only gonna talk," Kenpachi parroted, letting Ichigo drag him up.

The rest of the children looked at each other uneasily, and Tōshirō looked sick.

Matsumoto hurried to busy everyone with the breakfast Komamura had prepared for them as a distraction. She hoped that Komamura, who was still upstairs cleaning the mess in the bathroom, would notice and step in between the two boys if things got too out of hand.

.

Ichigo made sure not to pass the bathroom he knew Komamura was cleaning, and dragged Kenpachi towards the door that led to the roof. He opened it, and finally let go of the younger boy.

He motioned Kenpachi to go up and the younger boy complied, as he climbed up the steep stairs. Ichigo walked behind Kenpachi and shut the door.

The sky that hung above the roof was just as big and blue as Ichigo had seen before with Kenpachi, but the difference this time was that he was absolutely infuriated with the other boy. He knew that he shouldn't be so angry with a six-year old, who was only half of his age, but Ichigo couldn't help it when it came to Tōshirō.

He had seen Tōshirō at his weakest, where at night the boy would cuddle to him and hope to forget his nightmares, and he had seen Tōshirō at his strongest where the boy would be confident and cool, but he had never seen Tōshirō at his happiest and this made Ichigo incredibly sad.

Something about the boy made a strong emotion well up in him, and the other boy needed him so much. Seeing that flash of hurt in Tōshirō was enough to enrage Ichigo.

Kenpachi pretended that he hadn't noticed Ichigo's harsh glare, and he stared up to the endless sky, looking too mature and much too old for his age again.

"He's not your sis," Kenpachi spoke up first, looking tired.

"I know that-!"

"No, Ichi," Kenpachi turned to him, "you don' knows 'cause you don' sees. You're doin' that thing Ren does..."

He looked back at the sky as he spoke, "You're escapin'."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ichigo grounded out, "what does _that_ have anything to do with this? With what you said to Tōshirō?"

"I just telled Snowy what I thought, Ichi, and I'm tellin' you now what I thinks," Kenpachi sighed as he sat down, and patted the spot next to him.

Ichigo hesitated before sitting next to the boy.

"Alright, I'll listen. But if I don't think it was a good enough reason for hurting Tōshirō, I won't forgive you."

To his surprise, Kenpachi laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

"That's good, Ichi. That's how you should always pwotect," Kenpachi grinned albeit with a gentler angle. "You should pwotect stwongly, and nev'r compwromise when you pwotect."

Ichigo didn't know what to make of the sudden praise.

"But, what ar' you pwotecting now and why?" Kenpachi levelled him with a stare.

Realizing Kenpachi was waiting for an answer, Ichigo replied, "I want to protect Tōshirō."

"But why? Is it 'cause he's youwr fwend? Or youwr bwother that you finded out about jus' yestewrday?"

Ichigo exhaled sharply at the last part.

"Or is it 'cause," Kenpachi continued, "you thinks he needs pwotecting 'cause you couldn't pwotect your sis? Or maybe it's 'cause of somethin' else? Somethin' that you've forgetted, Ichi?"

"You're asking me if I'm using Tōshirō...?"

Ichigo looked like he was about to be very angry again, but Kenpachi merely shook his head slowly and incredulously.

"You mean, you din't rwealize?"

Ichigo felt his rising anger plummet at the boy's genuine surprise, and the moment of clarity allowed him to think. _Was_ he using Tōshirō as a substitute for not being able to protect Yuzu and Karin? _Was_ he just trying to clean his guilty conscience by using Tōshirō's distressed need for him?

Ichigo knew that Kenpachi was right, and somehow Ichigo had gotten strongly attached to Tōshirō rather quickly- and almost unnaturally so. It _had _been strange at how easily Ichigo had become so bizarrely close with Tōshirō, someone he had no memory about before their meeting at the orphanage. Even before Ichigo had found out the truth of their relationship, Ichigo had always actively been trying to fulfill Tōshirō's every need. He had been close with the other boys too, but not as much as he had become with Tōshirō.

He faintly remembered talking to Byakuya last night. He remembered saying that Tōshirō needed him, but what if it was actually he who truly needed Tōshirō's desperation?

Ichigo felt an empty feeling beckon to him again. He slowly began to think. Somehow, he knew that he had been using Tōshirō as some sort of self-gratifying means, but he couldn't pinpoint just for what reason.

"I'm making up for something," Ichigo slowly spoke, holding his forehead with a hand. "When I'm with him, I feel less guilty about something. Taking care of him makes me feel better, but I'm not sure why."

And once this idea had planted in his head, Ichigo felt himself deflate as he dropped his head into his arms.

"I _have _been using him, haven't I? I've been using Tōshirō for..." He couldn't finish the ugly sentence that caught at his throat. "But he needed me- so I thought that he could have me, but maybe it was only me being selfish?"

He felt Kenpachi's hand on his back, rubbing it patiently.

"Easy, Ichi. I only telled you 'cause the others don' but I din't tell you so you could be sad. I telled it to you 'cause you're my fwend."

Ichigo didn't doubt Kenpachi's words, but still felt horrible as he blamed Kenpachi for bringing the matter to light, and to his full attention, when Ichigo had been unconsciously pushing it away for so long. He had thought it was Tōshirō who would constantly seek him out, but Ichigo had always known that something else about Tōshirō resonated within his mind and soul.

Why did he feel so guilty about his siblings? Just what had he done to Karin and Yuzu that he needed Tōshirō's presence to atone with, so much?

A headache was dragging itself out, and Ichigo felt blank lines fade in and out of his vision. He groaned in pain as he held his head with both his hands, covering his eyes. He felt a burning wetness in his eyes, but he didn't know why he was crying. He felt himself slipping away.

Noticing that his friend was going through a rapid change, Kenpachi called his name in concern.

"Ichigo?"

"Z-Zaraki, what? D-Did you try to… ambush me again?" Ichigo uncovered his eyes, and hazily looked towards the smaller boy with a sneer.

Kenpachi looked into Ichigo's face, whose expression had transformed dramatically. Kenpachi, always trusting his instincts, shuffled away on his knees from where he was sitting next to Ichigo.

"Trying to run…? That's really odd of you, Zaraki," Ichigo chuckled deeply.

Kenpachi suddenly sensed with a sinking feeling, that something was off with his friend.

He had seen Ichigo in two other states so far- one was his completely empty hollow shell that Ichigo had become last night. The other one was back when Yoruichi had left and Ichigo had deteriorated into a nonsensical mess, saying things that made no sense.

"But, what are you doing here...? And why did you attack me from behind...? You always go all-out, so what's with the cowardly tactics, huh...?"

Kenpachi slowly realized that Ichigo was no longer in his right mind. He felt afraid and utterly worried, not knowing what to do.

"Ichi...?"

Ichigo shook his head as if trying to get rid of the pain that was blaring in it, but the throbbing got worse. He stood, and walked unsteadily.

"Ahh, where is this...? Are we in a mission in Karakura? This doesn't look like Urahara's shop..."

He took a couple of unsure steps forward, and wobbled on his feet.

"I wonder why they sent you down here to the world of the living with me, though... I mean, when did they start sending the Eleventh Division's Captain for stuff like this? What are we here for anyway...? Hollow removal...?"

"Ichi, don'! it's dangewrous!" Kenpachi shouted as Ichigo stumbled neared the edge of the roof.

"Are you kidding me...?" Ichigo held his head. "Jeez Zaraki... that's the first time I've heard you joke so well..."

Kenpachi watched in horror, as Ichigo inched closer to the roof's end and turned his head towards Kenpachi with a pained smile.

"But I can always Shunpo, y'know?"

And the orange-haired boy stepped off the roof, and fell like a stone.

.

Kenpachi didn't know when he had started screaming, but even when Komamura slammed the door to the roof open and hurriedly took the few steps up, Kenpachi had still continued his shrill piercing wail.

Komamura shook the boy hard as the boy screamed and screamed.

"What is it? What are you doing up here? What is wrong with you?!"

Kenpachi refused to stop his loud cry and pointed to the edge of the roof.

Komamura gave a confused scowl at seeing nothing there.

Matsumoto hurried up, her soft footsteps heard as she climbed to the roof.

"Kenpachi?!" She dropped to her knees.

Kenpachi still pointed to the edge of the roof.

"What's wrong?" Matsumoto held his shoulders and looked at the boy who was screaming himself hoarse. "Where's Ichigo?"

Komamura looked disturbed.

"Ichigo was with him?"

"They went up together," Matsumoto answered, as she tried to hush the boy who wouldn't stop his cries. He pointed to the edge of the roof again.

Komamura froze, and slowly turned to the edge.

He took several steps and looked down. Suddenly, he bellowed out a curse out loud, before he rushed back down from the roof, his heavy steps echoing as he ran down the hallway and down the stairs.

"Sajin...?" Matsumoto had uttered with wide eyes as he had ran past her, as she had never heard her friend swear before. She left Kenpachi shuddering and crying on the ground, and carefully peered over the edge of the roof to see what her friend had seen.

She immediately froze.

A crumpled body was on the ground, with recognizable bright orange hair dyed with something obscenely red, and before her brain could process what she was seeing, Matsumoto also let out a long drawn out scream of horror.


	17. Anguish

**Title: **Welcome to Karakura Orphanage

**Genre: **General/Drama

**Pairings: **Ichigo x Everyone (friend-verse), possible undertones/fanservice.

**Rated: **T for mature themes.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

**Summary: **[AU] Ichigo Kurosaki is a twelve-year old boy who has lost most of his memories. As he arrives in the Karakura Orphanage, he makes friends, who he supports and they in turn become his strength. Slowly, Ichigo attempts to unravel the hidden past locked away in his mind, as he tries to confront his own broken psyche.

**Additional Notes: **Here is the newest chapter of WtKO. Now, we will finally learn everything about Ichigo's past, thus it's a longer chapter. I refused to cut it into two chapters, as I feel like the flow would be interfered with. Also on a random note, there is an implicit critique on the treatment of mental health in this chapter, as distraction from pain does not accomplish in confronting it. To my readers, my apologies for scaring some of you last time, but rest assured, I have not killed off Ichigo! Also, sorry for being unclear, but this is not the last chapter however we _are _nearing the end; further updates will be shown on my profile. Lastly, prepare your hearts once again for this chapter! As always, your feedback/comments are appreciated and encouraging. Please enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

It was becoming a bad habit, Ichigo thought, to keep waking up in white rooms.

A steady beeping sound was echoing incessantly, and Ichigo decided that he hated it even more than the ticking noise the clock in his room made back at the orphanage.

He felt bleary and everything hurt, but his eyes opened nonetheless. He immediately shut them, a slight hiss escaping his throat.

Something was wrong with the room.

Somehow, the room's white and gray colours were dripping down from their places, as if trying to drown Ichigo in their flooding waves, utterly disorienting him. The limited colours began meshing together into a muddled mess, and Ichigo began feeling nauseous and vaguely disturbed.

Yet something was eerily familiar about this sort of chaos.

It was almost like he had seen this scene before; as if he had experienced this sort of nightmarish moment at some other time in his life- not in a pristine white room, but in a dirty alley behind a shady bar.

He remembered dimly that the colours were blending and distorting at that time too.

.

He was lost.

Ichigo had never been in this part of the city before.

Only five years old, Ichigo wasn't good at directions or at holding onto his mother's hand. The small boy didn't know that he had gotten off at the wrong bus stop without his mother, on their impromptu outing. It was Masaki's day off from the police department, and Isshin also had a break from his work at Karakura Clinic. Isshin had taken the girls to see a girly movie that Ichigo refused to watch, and so Masaki had decided to take Ichigo to the city's historical museum for the afternoon.

Yet now, Ichigo wished he had gone to the dumb movie with Yuzu and Karin.

He had accidentally left with the crowds of people leaving the bus, and was now somewhere completely unknown. It was a dubious part of town, and the buildings in the area looked old and uninviting. Unusual people hung around at the fronts of tiny shops, and their loud laughter and crude curse words floated down the sordid streets.

Ichigo watched as many buses came and left afterwards, but he didn't know which one to get on to return to his mother.

He tried not to cry, but he cried anyway and sniffled sharply.

It was daytime, and the happy sunlight washed over the city, uncaring about the little boy's distress. Ichigo was slumped down at a curb hiccupping in tears, wishing that he could just go home.

"Hey, I've seen you before," an unfriendly voice said from behind him. "You're Masaki's brat."

He turned to see a silver-haired man looking at him.

"D'you know Mommy, mister? Can you take me to Mommy?"

At the boy's plea, the corners of the silver-haired man's mouth slowly pulled upwards into a wicked grin as he nodded.

"Sure, I know where your 'Mommy' is, come with me..."

And the silver-haired man led the little boy up to his apartment.

.

Ichigo faded in and out of consciousness, but the onslaught of sudden memories continued.

He wanted them to go away, but like insistent poisonous leeches, they grasped onto him and pushed their venomous emotions into him.

Remember, remember, they screeched while all he wanted to do was cover his ears.

.

The alley behind the bar was dark and damp.

Two men watched as a small boy sat slumped at a dirty wall. All the boy did was stare endlessly, like an inanimate doll, as the world shifted with warped colours and reflected in his dull eyes.

"Is that him? Is that the boy who withstood Kurotsuchi's strongest drug?"

"Yeah, it's him."

"He looks pretty wasted to me. You sure he won't end up like the others?"

"Oh, don't worry. I've _trained_ him. Watch this- Ichigo, do you see that car pulling out over there in the dark area of the parking lot? Pretend to get hit by it."

A minute later, there was a loud thud. A car's door was hastily thrown open and a middle-aged man stepped out.

"Oh my go- I hit a kid?! No, no, this can't be happening," the man was saying, but slowly he was creeping back into his car, as if hoping to get away before he was spotted for his misdeed.

"Hey man, you ain't gonna leave the kid like that are ya?"

"O-Of course not! Who are you people?!"

"Us two? We're this boy's... 'brothers'. And we saw everything, including you trying to leave. We're going to take you to court and sue you for every penny you're worth, mister."

"O-Oh please no- I- I just got a promotion at work and I'm about to get married- p-please don't go to court-!"

"Yeah, no worries, we totally understand man. This could destroy your future, ain't I right?"

The man was sobbing now.

"But you know what? We're nice people. We can overlook this. All you have to do is write us up a cheque and give us everything in your wallet..."

The man looked up hopefully.

"R- Really? You'll let me go?"

"Sure, just hand over the cash."

A wallet was emptied, and a cheque was ripped out, and with that money, the man had felt like he had cleared his conscience as he got back into the car and drove away without a second look at Ichigo.

"You can get up now, Ichigo."

The small boy sat up from where he had pretended to be hit by the car, and gazed blankly. The man caressed Ichigo's cheek with a spindly finger, and Ichigo took it into his mouth.

"Like I said, tamed like a mutt."

"We snagged some pretty good stuff from Kurotsuchi before he was cuffed for prison, huh Gin? The kid's completely brainwashed."

"Yeah," Gin replied, wickedly thrusting his finger deeper into the boy's mouth, "and he gave us a pretty nice toy to play with, isn't that right, Ichigo?"

Ichigo moaned in response at the finger in his mouth, a string of saliva falling from his mouth.

The men laughed, and took Ichigo inside the bar.

.

Ichigo's eyes shot open again at the torturous images, and he wished he could run. He wanted to run as fast as he could, to keep the memories from finding him.

A blanket was wrapped tightly around his form, limiting his movement, and though he weakly struggled with his wounded body to escape the horrors unwinding inside him, he had no choice but to once again fade in and out of consciousness. He wanted to get up, he wanted to find someone to stop him from falling apart.

But in the white room, where there was nothing but him and his own mind, the discord continued to reduce him to shambles.

.

"Ichigo!"

Ichigo looked lifelessly at the woman, who had burst in from the door with several people in uniforms following her.

Masaki was in tears. She had finally found her boy, her son. In the dirtied hotel room, she held his bare body tightly, trying to ignore the bruises that covered his entire body with a piercing pain in her heart.

"Ichigo, oh _Ichigo_!" She cried, but the boy continued looking like an impassive and empty shell.

From the bathroom, a silver-haired man exited looking like he had just taken a shower, and he looked stunned at the police officers in the room. He tried to look for an escape, but he was quickly knocked down and handcuffed.

At this, Ichigo finally showed some sign of life. He pushed away the woman who hugged him, and ran to the man's side, holding his arm against his chest.

"Ichi...go?" The woman whispered in shock. The boy looked at her, but continued to not recognize her.

"He's been pumped with a Kurotsuchi drug, Masaki," the silver-haired man laughed against the floor he was cuffed on. "I'm sure you know what that is."

"Gin, you scum!" The woman hissed. "I won't forgive you for touching my son!"

The boy was making mewling sounds as he tried to get the handcuffs off of Gin. The officer, who held Gin down to the floor, looked helplessly at the boy.

"Oh, I've done much more than just touch him," Gin drawled.

Masaki strode to Gin, and kicked him hard in the face.

"O-Ow," Gin moaned in pain, but managed to mock as he raised his head back up, "Officer Masaki, I could sue you for assault, you know..."

Masaki kicked him harshly again and this time Gin didn't raise his head at her.

"Stop," Ichigo gasped. It was his first word that he had spoken since the police had swarmed inside the room.

"You heard the boy," Gin spoke, his head still down. "Ichigo, lean down."

The boy immediately did so, and Gin whispered something in his ear.

"Stop! Don't get near him, Ichigo!" Masaki shrieked, as she pulled her son towards herself.

Gin gave another disdainful smile.

"You can do that, right Ichigo? This is an order."

Ichigo nodded.

"What did you tell him?!"

"You'll find out soon enough," Gin grinned with a depraved look in his eyes.

"You trash! How much more can you hurt innocent people? Like you hurt Rangiku!"

A hard look came over Gin's face.

"Don't bring her up."

"Why?" Masaki growled. "Because she was the only one you cared for, and yet you still couldn't protect her from being raped by your own boss?!"

Gin gave an animalistic cry before he tried to leap onto Masaki, but he was restrained by the officers behind him.

"Take him away," Masaki spat.

"Yes, Chief Masaki."

"You think you've won?" Gin sneered. "I swear to you that I will make you pay, and I _will_ get the last laugh."

His gaze shifted to Ichigo.

"And it will be in a way that will make you suffer the most."

"Get him out!" Masaki shouted.

And the officers dragged Gin away, as Masaki turned to her son.

"Ichigo, oh Ichigo," she sobbed, holding her son, "I'm so sorry to have gotten you involved in all of this. I'm so sorry..."

Ichigo just looked blankly at the wall opposite to him. Gin's final words were reverberating in his ears and in his brain's inner capacity, as the drug stained his consciousness with the man's last order.

'_Pretend until the next year, and then kill her and everyone she loves!_'

And he had followed through.

.

In the entire year, Ichigo had been shepherded from office to office to countless psychiatrists, but none could truly cure Ichigo's trauma.

Each prescribed doses of sleeping medication for Ichigo's nightmares, and encouraged Ichigo's family to never bring up the incident. Instead, they suggested engaging Ichigo in outdoor activities, and recommended that Ichigo should enroll in other mentally exhaustive exercises which would prevent him from falling into depression. They also underscored the fact that Ichigo should not be left alone, and should have someone with him at all times.

After hearing the doctors' instructions, Masaki quit her job as a police officer to constantly stay at home with Ichigo.

Masaki often took Ichigo to the library, and she would watch brokenly as the boy would avidly drown himself with books and fictional worlds but remained unresponsive to the real world.

He had become silent after the incident, his voice stolen away by what the doctors identified as shock. Slowly, Ichigo regained verbal control, but he still spoke rarely. He often had a faraway look in his eyes, and then he would become vacant and listless as if he were absent from reality.

Masaki had done her best to put the splintered pieces of Ichigo's disturbed mind together. She felt hopeless sometimes, and she cried long and hard at nights. Isshin would be by her side comforting her, but not even he knew what to do about Ichigo. It was hard on all of them.

After the incident, they had all moved from Karakura as soon as they had the chance. Masaki hadn't told anyone about what had exactly happened, and only gave vague explanations to her friends.

Yuzu and Karin had noticed something wrong with their little brother. Though they had not been told of Ichigo's specific condition and trauma, they still tried to cheer Ichigo up by taking him out to the playground whenever they saw Ichigo's eyes drifting blankly as if he were lost.

They had been upset at first, at having to move away from Karakura and at the prospect of having to leave their friends behind, but soon both girls had understood the severity of the situation.

Ichigo had utterly changed.

The sweet boy, who had often been laughing prankster and had always admired his older sisters, had been replaced with a silent and hollow seeming carcass which refused to react to anything.

Slowly, they had all began to adjust to their upsetting and stressful situation.

.

"Ichigo, can you please pass me that spoon?"

Ichigo tilted his head, and saw the spoon. He stared at it for several moments as if not understanding, but then reached over to pass it to his mother.

"Thank you, darling," Masaki smiled brightly, as she stirred something in a pot.

Ichigo had been improving.

It had been six months since they had moved from Karakura. Their new home wasn't large like their last one had been, but the new house was big enough for them all to live cozily in. It almost looked like a fairy's house, as it was sculpted out of pretty wood which both Yuzu and Karin had immediately found enchanting. Their new home was also away from the city, and the area they now lived in was much more rural.

Ichigo often would go out to sit in the backyard to just stare at the blue sky, and the horizon dotted with green trees. Masaki hoped that the new environment would calm the boy.

They were currently sitting in the kitchen, while Yuzu and Karin were at school and Isshin was at work.

It was raining outside, and the sky was full of dark gray clouds.

"So Ichigo, you want to make cupcakes?" Masaki asked.

Ichigo didn't respond, and so Masaki continued.

"You know, we have chocolate and vanilla mix, so which flavour do you want to eat? We can make an extra big batch today-"

Suddenly, the lights flickered and went out. With a small cry, Ichigo immediately ran out of his seat to hug his mother's waist. Outside, thunder rumbled threateningly and the pattering of rain drummed even louder on their roof.

"It's okay honey, it's okay," Masaki immediately held Ichigo. "It's just the faulty lighting in this place. Let's just get some candles, alright?"

Ichigo still grasped to his mother, as Masaki reached for a small box in a drawer. He watched in the dim light, as Masaki opened the small box to reveal small sticks with red tips inside.

At noticing Ichigo's curious stare, Masaki smiled.

"You know what these are, right?" She tilted her head to the box.

Ichigo nodded, and spoke softly, "Matches."

"That's right," Masaki kissed her son's forehead. "With these, we can make a fire and light up the candles."

She carefully swiped a match against the box's edge, and Ichigo watched with wide eyes as Masaki lit up several small candles. She blew out the match and placed the candles around the kitchen.

"There! We can resume our cupcake-making plans!" Masaki laughed.

Ichigo was staring at the box of matches on the kitchen counter. Masaki caught his view.

"Useful little things, aren't they?" Masaki smiled at Ichigo, who nodded. "But they can be very dangerous too. Fire can easily spread even with just one of these, especially since this house is made of wood."

Ichigo suddenly looked frightened, and Masaki laughed his fear away.

"Don't worry, as long as we're careful, nothing will happen! Besides, you have me and I will always protect you," Masaki smiled, stroking her son's hair. "I will always be here for you."

Ichigo felt like crying at the motherly affection and support. He hugged Masaki tightly.

"M-Mom, can we… can we make chocolate cupcakes?"

Masaki looked at Ichigo with surprise, as the boy had not said anything beyond a single word for the past months. She hugged him back, overcome with relief and bursting with happiness.

"Of course, Ichigo! Anything for you, my darling," she assented joyously, with tears in her eyes.

Ichigo smiled a little bit, and Masaki felt like everything would turn out alright.

.

About one more month later, Ichigo had drastically changed back into his old self, much to the utter delight of his family.

"Mama, Ichigo took my lucky hair-tie!" Yuzu wailed.

"There's no such thing as a 'lucky' hair-tie, you big dummy!" Karin snickered.

"Karin," Masaki spoke in a scolding voice. She turned to Yuzu, "Come now, let's not start the New Year by fighting. Where is Ichigo?"

"Probably hidin' in his room," Karin grinned, readying for a chase.

"Well let's go see," Masaki sighed at her youngest child's antics, though inwardly, she was overly glad to see Ichigo active and back to his normal pranks. She felt almost giddy with cheer.

They climbed the stairs and Yuzu hurriedly barged into Ichigo's room. She squeaked as Ichigo used her hair-tie as a sling-shot at her, and she dodged it.

"I've defeated the evil Yuzu-monster!" Ichigo laughed victoriously from his pillow fortress.

Yuzu turned red in anger, but suddenly she exhaled and became calm again. She crept towards Ichigo's bed.

"Oh, so I'm a 'Yuzu-monster' am I? Well big sister Yuzu is getting revenge!" Yuzu declared as she picked up one of Ichigo's pillows and whacked him.

"H-Hey! Cut it out!"

"Leave a pillow for me too, Yuzu!" Karin eagerly dove into the battle.

Ichigo was complaining, but also laughing, as the three siblings began a pillow fight. Masaki looked on the scene with a warm gaze, happy to see her children smiling.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat, and all three children paused. "Does everyone know what today is?"

"Is it my birthday?" Ichigo asked excitedly.

"That was last July, silly!" Yuzu gave her little brother a bear hug, and he began struggling in her hold. Karin held Ichigo from his other side, effectively trapping the boy.

"Th-Then what is it?" Ichigo asked, pouting at being bullied by his playful sisters.

"Happy New Year!" His sisters sang.

"'N-New Year'?" Ichigo asked, feeling something in his mind suddenly buzz.

"Yes, it's New Year's day today, Ichigo. A brand new start full of happiness is waiting for all of us," Masaki giggled, ruffling her children's hair. "We'll go out today in the evening for a nice fancy dinner, and go see a movie! And Daddy doesn't have work today, so we'll all be together as a family!"

"Yay!" Both girls cheered in glee.

"We'll watch a movie with ponies in it!" Yuzu cried out happily. "And princesses!"

"And pretty pink unicorns," Karin spoke, with a teasing tone to her voice as she looked to Ichigo. She knew that Ichigo hated watching girly things, and looked to see his reaction.

Yet surprisingly, Ichigo remained strangely quiet. Karin gave a confused frown.

"Alright everyone, let's go wake Daddy and head down for breakfast!" Masaki ushered the girls out. "Ichigo, brush your teeth and come down!"

Ichigo sat on his bed, and unnoticed by Masaki, a hauntingly similar blank stare was back in his eyes. The same vacant look, that had occupied his soul after his traumatizing incident, had returned.

And somewhere deep inside Ichigo, something triggered at the words 'New Year' and he heard Gin's voice ensnare him from the deepest reaches of his mind.

.

"Hmm, Masaki? Karin? Yuzu? You're here too?"

"We've been waiting for a while, Daddy," Yuzu spoke up in her bubbly voice.

"Yeah, Ichigo told us to gather in the storage room," Karin looked annoyed.

"Now girls, it could be a wonderful surprise Ichigo has planned for us," Masaki giggled, as she held them in a warm embrace.

The girls had always seen Masaki as their mother, and even though they knew had no biological ties to her, they both loved her dearly. Both of them immediately hugged her back.

"Heeey, don't I get hugs?" Isshin pouted, as he sat next to his precious family.

At his daughters giving him a look that clearly said 'no', he began to fake crying until Masaki leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"Ahh, leave that mushy stuff for when I'm outta here!" Karin yelped, covering her eyes.

Yuzu just smiled serenely at her parents blushing.

"I wonder where Ichigo is," Isshin spoke, clearing his throat.

Suddenly the storage room's door shut loudly and they were tossed into the darkness. A click was heard as the door was locked.

Ichigo, as if moving in a trance, lit up a match he had found in the kitchen drawer. He let it fall in front of the storage room, and looked with empty eyes as a fire leapt to the floors and walls, and the wood hissed as flames began to spread.

Gin's voice clawed its way into his brain as if the man stood right next to him. He heard his whisper over and over.

_Pretend until the next year, and then kill her and everyone she loves!_

"Ichigo?!"

"Who's there?!"

"Let us out!"

"Open this door!"

Ichigo, as if not hearing his family's cries, turned and walked out of the hallway. He climbed down the stairs, and slowly walked outside to the backyard. He immediately passed out on the grass.

The fire had caught onto the electrical wiring in the house, and it quickly blackened the pretty house with smoke and flames. When the firefighters finally got calls of a house fire in a rural area, the house was already ablaze. In the wreckage, they had discovered Ichigo, the boy unconscious but barely burned.

.

When he next awakened in the hospital, it was to a sobbing Matsumoto and a weeping Unohana. Komamura stood behind the women with tears flowing from his eyes as well.

"Ichigo?"

But Ichigo didn't answer. He couldn't answer.

He was too far gone, feeling lost in the recesses of his own mind and he stayed this way for a long time.

His newest doctor, Kisuke Urahara, had tried everything to get Ichigo to talk or at least react. Urahara couldn't find much on the boy's files, as the information on the boy had been scattered from psychiatrist to psychiatrist. Yet he still worked tirelessly to figure out just how to pull Ichigo out of his depression.

Masaki had intervened with Ichigo's kidnapping case, and used her authority to hide the intense depth about how Ichigo had truly suffered as classified information, in order to try to create some semblance of normality for her son to live in. Thus due to this purposeful erasure, Urahara knew little about the actual deeper trauma that had been imprinted upon Ichigo. He very much assumed Ichigo's despondency was singularly caused by the boy's family's deaths.

Seven months later, Urahara had remained frustrated at being unable to get through to Ichigo, when suddenly a man who looked remarkably like Ichigo burst in through Ichigo's hospital room's door.

He held Ichigo tightly, all the while sobbing.

"Ichigo, my son! My son!" Kaien had cried, as he broke down in front of the boy after hearing the shocking news that the love of his life, her husband, and their daughters had been burned to death, while receiving the equally shocking news that Ichigo was by birth, his son.

Ichigo didn't understand who the man was, but the man held him as if he were handling fragile glass and had let his emotions flow freely. Seeing the man completely crushed made something return in Ichigo- his sense of empathy. This man knew how it felt to lose everything, just like he had.

Kaien had been abroad for a year after his divorce with Miyako, and hadn't known of the tragedy until he had returned to Karakura.

He had coincidentally contacted Sajin only to ask for Masaki's new address. Sajin had told him everything.

Kaien visited Ichigo every day, and somehow his presence breathed life into Ichigo. Ichigo came out of state of despair, and the very first thing he had done after returning to his senses was to hold onto Kaien and cry.

At his seeming recovery, Ichigo was allowed to leave with Kaien, and the two lived like father and son for four and a half years.

Ichigo had finally been happy again, all until one day.

.

In the real world, Ichigo tossed and turned, writhing in pain.

He tried to cry out, but his throat felt constricted, full of fear and grief. Anxiety welled up in his chest and his heart raced.

He couldn't comprehend anything as the barrage of his memories continued to topple his sanity.

.

"Daaad, why can't we eat hamburgers?"

"We ate those yesterday, and the day before yesterday, Ichigo," Kaien spoke as he sat on the kitchen table, flipping through a recipe book. "We're having something healthier today. How about having this for tonight?"

He held up the book to show Ichigo a picture of creamed spinach.

"Yuck, that stuff looks like it's gonna kill me," Ichigo made a face. Kaien laughed and ruffled the boy's hair.

"It's supposed to be good for you, you runt."

"When will Yoru bring us stuff to eat again?" Ichigo whined, "I wanna eat Yoru's spaghetti!"

"She can't always bring us food, you know. Yoruichi's busy with her research. She barely gets time to swing by with her cooking," Kaien answered, still looking in the recipe book.

"Then how come she stayed over all night last time?"

Kaien looked up with a blush.

"Y-You were awake?!"

"I wanted water," Ichigo shrugged, "I saw her hanging out in your room and you guys were exercising or somethin'."

"Oh my go..." Kaien just hid his face in his hands. "Ahhh, I swear I closed the door! This is so embarrassing."

"Why?" Ichigo tilted his head cutely. "Were you two doin' somethin' embarrassin'?"

"We are not having this conversation, right now," Kaien doggedly stared at his book, the tips of his ears flushing. "Just tell me what you want for dinner, brat."

"Well Mom always made-"

There was a quiet in the room as Ichigo caught what he was saying and immediately silenced.

"It's okay to talk about it, Ichigo," Kaien spoke gently, putting down his book, "It's okay to talk about Masaki. You don't have to keep everything inside. You can let it all out."

Ichigo shook his head.

"Ichigo, we may not be able to change the past, but all things change."

The boy looked to his father with a puzzled look.

"All things change, Ichigo. And because things change, they can become better," Kaien continued, looking at his son softly.

"Or worse."

Kaien laughed a bit and smiled, "But that's the beauty of life, Ichigo. Things might get worse but because everything is in a process of change, they never stay worse. Eventually things get better because of change, trust me."

Ichigo still looked like he refused to talk and stubbornly remained quiet. Kaien sighed.

"Alright, why don't I start, and you talk after?"

At Ichigo's silence, he began speaking nostalgically.

"I met Masaki when we were in high school. I was two grades ahead of her, but we fell in love anyway over some lame show we were both into back then."

Ichigo looked at Kaien in awe, as the man had never truly spoken about his memories of his mother before in the past four or so years.

"Masaki was lovely; she was everything I wanted in a girlfriend. Well... she burned a lot of food and she wasn't such a great cook, but just the fact that she would try for my sake made me fall even deeper for her."

Something in Ichigo's brain started reeling.

"She loved me, you know? And I loved her, but things don't always go as you want them to," Kaien sighed again but this time a bit more sadly, as he stared down at the closed recipe book in soft reminiscence. "But we had a lot of good times. You know, this one time we went shopping, and we-"

But Ichigo had stopped listening, and the haunted words came to the forefront of his mind again. He knew something had triggered inside of him once again, and his hands trembled.

Everything faded into a white blank in his vision, and he could hear nothing except for that one sickening order given to him by an equally depraved man. He trembled harder as in the whiteness, he saw a monstrous image of Gin rise up and loom over him as it ballooned into a horrifying vision.

_Kill her and everyone she loves!_

As if he were a lifeless puppet controlled with invisible manipulative strings, Ichigo suddenly stood. He walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed a knife.

The monster of Gin pushed him forward towards Kaien, repeating his order over and over again in Ichigo's ear.

"And then she said- Ichigo?" Kaien stopped in his story to look curiously at his son, not seeing the torment flickering in Ichigo's eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"You have to run," Ichigo rasped inaudibly.

"Ichigo?" Kaien looked more concerned now, and was about to get up from his seat at the kitchen table.

But it was too late. Ichigo took several running steps towards Kaien and stabbed the knife into the man. Kaien looked much too shocked to do anything, as his heart exploded in his chest.

As Kaien fell to the ground, Ichigo felt an emotional numbness steal over him.

The red of Kaien's blood dripped from the knife to his bare foot. He looked at it curiously, and followed the spurts of blood that emanated from the dead body across from him. He slowly took in the body of his motionless father, who he had killed.

He could hear his hallucination cackle wildly in victory, and the disfigured Gin faded away back to the depths of his mind.

Then something snapped in the boy as he finally began screaming as loud as he could.

He grabbed the knife and began hacking away at his limbs, leaving severe cuts in his body. He continued his feral cries, until he felt a mixture of bile and a copper-like taste of blood rise in his throat.

The neighbours, who had heard the boy's screams, had immediately called the police, and the officers hadn't taken much time to arrive. They burst through the door with a hard shove, and gaped in horror at the corpse of a dead man, and a little boy who knelt in a pool of blood with a knife, trying to slash at his own neck.

"Let me die! Let me die!" He screamed wretchedly, as the knife was forcibly taken from him. "I killed my family, and now Kaien, please just let me die! _Let me die_!"

.

That's right, Ichigo thought. He had killed Kaien. But now he also knew that he had killed his entire family.

Like a wretched ghost wandering through the caverns of his own mind, he watched the forgotten memory free itself with resounding agony.

Now he understood everything.

He understood why Komamura and Matsumoto had tried to keep him from remembering his past. They had been trying to salvage his mind from the agonizing memories that now enslaved him. They had been trying to save him.

He also now understood why he needed Tōshirō so badly. It was just as Kenpachi had predicted- he was trying to use Tōshirō to make up for the fact that he had been so detrimental to every single other member of his family. He had used Tōshirō as a substitute, and as an escape from his guilt, and that had increased even more when Ichigo had found out that they were blood-related. He wanted to at least give his half-brother happiness.

He walked down a hallway of mirrors, and memories rushed at him from every direction, like small rodents scrabbling and running across his psyche. The mirrors reflected all of the memories he had lost. Some were happy times with his family, and some were sad.

Some were brutal and some were atrocious.

Everything came back all at once, and it sent his brain into an intense overdrive.

Gin's hands roughly undressing him, his mother's hand stroking his head, Gin was forcing him to take pills at the back of a bar with some unknown man, Rangiku was buying him ice-cream as she looked fondly at his four-year old self, he was lying on his mother's lap happily, Kaien was lying dead at his feet, Isshin taking him and an excited Karin out to a baseball game, Gin taking him into his dark apartment, Karin shrieking in joy at being accepted into her elementary school's soccer team, and Yuzu shrieking for help as she was licked freely by the fire her brother had trapped her in.

Everything was a jumbled mess inside Ichigo's head.

The hall of mirrors suddenly started cracking loudly; it cracked all the way to the very last mirror, and one by one, the mirrors shattered. Behind the mirrors, there was nothing but pitch darkness, and out of black oblivion, a dragon made of ice arose and gave a roar.

Ichigo was frightened and began running, but he tripped and fell, and he cried out as the dragon reached for him with its sharp jaws. Yet to his surprise, it didn't hurt him, and instead he felt cold hands on his face. He opened his eyes to come face to face with Tōshirō and his lovely eyes.

"T-Tōshirō?" He spoke, and the younger boy smiled sweetly at him.

Ichigo raised a hand to reach for Tōshirō, and the moment he touched him, the transparent image of Tōshirō caught on fire and the smaller boy was engulfed in seconds.

"Tōshirō!" Ichigo ran to the flaming boy and held him, not caring for the unbelievable heat that singed his skin, but Tōshirō suddenly started turning into cold sand, slipping out of Ichigo's hands. Tōshirō kissed Ichigo briefly with a paradoxical cold but warm feathery touch, and whispered.

"Murderer."

Ichigo screamed as Tōshirō became nothingness, and apparitions of a twisted version of Gin returned to circle him.

The nightmarish copies of Gin didn't talk, but the curl to their lips stayed the same as the visions violated Ichigo's mind over and over again, until the boy was nothing but a mess with his throat screamed raw.

.

Suddenly he opened his eyes.

A slight breeze touched his face, and the trees rustled peacefully. Fluffy white clouds rolled lazily in the blue sky.

"Ichigo!"

"Go away, Rukia," he mumbled, "I'm napping."

Rukia kicked him out his tree.

"What'd you do that for, you midget?!" Ichigo growled, as he caught himself mid-fall and landed on his feet. Rukia, still standing on the tree, also leaped down.

"I told you countless times, you stupid berry!" She poked his chest in annoyance. "If you're going to come to the Soul Society, go to Seireitei to see Captain-Commander Yamamoto right away!"

"I don't wanna meet that old man!" Ichigo replied. "He talks my ear off when he gets into one of his moods-!"

He paused. He searched for his Zanpakutō.

"Rukia..."

"Yes, Ichigo?" Rukia smiled innocently.

"Why are you holding Zangetsu?"

"As an incentive, duh. Catch me if you can, you stupid Berry!" And Rukia used Shunpo to flee towards Yamamoto's office, as Ichigo shouted after her.

"Rukia, you runt! You'd better run because when I catch you, I'm going to kick your puny arse into next week!"

Rukia's soft laughter was all he heard in response, as he chased after her in the warm afternoon.

.

"Rangiku Matsumoto and Sajin Komamura are here to see you, Sir," the intern spoke at the door.

"Send them in," he nodded.

The woman walked in first, looking like she hadn't slept in ages with dark bags under her eyes. Her vibrant hair was a curled mess. The man next to her was tall and broad, but a weak looking tinge had taken to his pallor and he looked immensely pale and unsteady.

"I told you two to rest up, didn't I?" Urahara chided, as they sat down, "the hospital is already full enough and doesn't need two more beds being occupied."

"We're fine, Doctor," Matsumoto spoke first, her voice sounding tired. Komamura slouched on the chair next to her.

"You are not a very good liar, my dear," Urahara replied, twiddling with a pencil. "Why are you two here again? I told you that I would notify you if his condition changed, didn't I? If you keep this up, you really _will_ get sick."

"We know," Matsumoto responded and pulled up a small shoebox she had brought with her, "but we came here to give you this."

At Urahara's look of bafflement, she explained.

"We heard from Kenpachi- who's another boy at the orphanage- that Ichigo used to write letters often and throw them on the roof in the forms of paper airplanes."

She opened the shoebox to show it full of messily folded planes.

"We opened some, and we read them. Doctor, what shocks us most is that they're all addressed to _you_."

Urahara dropped his pencil. Wordlessly, he reached for the box, and took a paper airplane out. He unfolded it and read it to himself.

_Dear Mr. Kisuke Urahara,_

_This is my two-hundredth letter to you. Kenpachi taught me how to make airplanes that fly further the other day, so maybe this one will reach you._

_I know you're my doctor, so you should know what's been going on in my head._

_Last night, I dreamt of Rukongai again, specifically the 78__th__ district- I saw Renji and Rukia running as they stole water just to survive. No one needs food or drink in the Soul Society except for those with spiritual powers. I couldn't bear to sit with them the next morning at breakfast, and gave Renji my toast because I felt so bad for them both._

_What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember who I am, but I remember these bizarre things?_

_I don't know who else to tell all of this to, who won't think I'm crazy._

_Please get back to me soon,_

_Ichigo Kurosaki_

Urahara grabbed another letter and unfolded it.

_Dear Mr. Kisuke Urahara,_

_This is my seventieth letter to you._

_I should tell you what's going on in my head since my last letter._

_I dreamt of the Soul Society again, and this time I was in the 1__st__ district, and I saw Ms. Matsumoto find Tōshirō and recruit him before he froze his grandmother solid. The scenery somehow changed, and I saw an older Tōshirō. He became the Captain of the tenth division in the 13 Court Guard Squads. The next morning at breakfast, I really wanted to tell him how proud I was of him, but I don't want to weird him out._

_Ms. Matsumoto is actually his Lieutenant and I always have to stop myself from giggling when I remember that. _

_I'll write you again,_

_Ichigo Kurosaki._

Urahara unfolded another letter.

_Dear Mr. Kisuke Urahara,_

_This is my sixteenth letter to you._

_I should tell you what's going on in my head, but I have a bit of a headache so I'll be quick. The other me is being annoying again. I think I've told you about him._

_I've seen him before with old man Zangetsu, always silently standing there. But he actually talked to me this time. He looks like me, but he's all white and his eyes are all dark with only rings of gold in them._

_Wish he could quiet down for a while,_

_Ichigo Kurosaki._

"This was the last letter he wrote, I suggest you read it now," Matsumoto slid a small folded paper which looked like it had been scrunched up into a ball, before it had been smoothed out and folded into a plane.

_Dear Mr. Kisuke Urahara,_

_This is my three-hundred and twenty-third letter to you._

_I saw something scary in my head, and I don't know what to do. _

_It sort of looks like a man, but he looks more like a monster._

_He keeps telling me to kill._

_Help me,_

_Ichigo Kurosaki_

Urahara looked up from the countless letters about Ichigo telling him about the Soul Society, the human world, Quincies, Vizards, Reapers and Hollows.

"He's created a whole other world," Urahara breathed, "all in his head."

"Retsu was right, then," Matsumoto closed her eyes, "my friend warned me that Ichigo hadn't just created an alternate personality, but also created something deeper in his sub-consciousness to escape to."

"If that's correct, then we may never get Ichigo back again," Komamura spoke up for the first time.

"Don't say that!" Matsumoto immediately replied angrily, but then as if all the fight was knocked out of her, she slumped into her chair. "Don't say that..."

Urahara was still reading some of the letters, when he looked up and began reassuring the dismal duo in front of him.

"Don't worry, though circumstances are severe, this sort of psychosis can still be cured."

"How?" Matsumoto uttered.

"It all depends on Ichigo," Urahara sighed, "but it could take months, even years, to bring him back. If only we knew how Kaien Shiba snapped him out of it the first time."

"It's impossible to wonder that now, with Kaien dead," Komamura spoke, "how is Ichigo now?"

"Not any better than last time, I'm afraid," Urahara stood at his desk. "But since you're already here, we might as well go and see him."

Matsumoto and Komamura stood and let Urahara lead them down the hallway. A sharp medicinal smell permeated through the building, and every so often, the squeaking of a medical trolley would be heard.

They took the elevator to the second floor, where they walked down a long white hallway, until they finally reached double doors emblazoned with the words 'Psychiatry Ward'.

Urahara pushed through the doors, and it was surprisingly quiet in the hall.

They walked around a corner, and finally came to a grey door. A paper placard with 'Ichigo Kurosaki' written on it was pasted outside the room. There was a folder under the tag which described all of the medication to be given to the boy.

Urahara turned the knob and opened the door.

.

Ichigo was sitting on the edge of the bed, a long tube in his arm. Bandages surrounded his head, and his left leg and left arm were in casts. He faced the window, and was staring expressionlessly at the birds in the sky.

"Ichigo, we've come to see you," Matsumoto tried to sound cheerful. "It's us, Rangiku and Sa-Ko!"

Ichigo didn't react, and continued watching the birds blankly.

"Oh, look at these flowers! They're from Dr. Unohana, right?" Matsumoto walked to a bouquet of purple bellflowers and admired them. "They sure are nice, aren't they Ichigo?"

Komamura stood by the door, appearing like he would fall apart at seeing Ichigo look like a ghost of his former self.

"Ichigo, did you eat today?" Urahara asked, but evidently did not expect to receive a reply as he walked to Ichigo's lunch tray and clucked his tongue at seeing it untouched. "If you don't eat Ichigo, you won't get better."

"You keep giving me plastic knives to eat with," Ichigo answered so quietly, that his voice could have been mistaken for an exhale or particularly loud breeze of wind.

Matsumoto froze along with Komamura, as both had not heard or seen Ichigo show any reaction for the past week and a half.

"That's because you would try to inflict self-harm on yourself if I gave you metal cutlery," Urahara replied, not missing a beat.

"You haven't changed. How're Ururu and Jinta?" Ichigo spoke in his wispy voice again.

"I have no idea who they are, Ichigo," Urahara responded honestly.

"Again with this game? I'm sick of it already. Just how did you get Rangiku to act along? Just let me go."

"I can't, Ichigo. You'll try to kill yourself if I do."

"Then let me die," the boy's voice was so soft and desperate, that Matsumoto began to cry and held a hand to her mouth. "Let me die and become a reaper."

"I can't do that either."

"Then, I'm going back."

"Back to the world you created in your head, Ichigo?" Urahara asked, "Wake up Ichigo, this _is_ the real world- you can't keep escaping."

"No, this world is the fake one."

"How can you be so sure?" Urahara challenged. "How, Ichigo?"

"Because this world is like a living nightmare."

And the adults watched helplessly as Ichigo retreated back into the confines of his mind, and his blank gaze returned.

Matsumoto rushed to the boy who stared at the sky vacantly again. She hugged him tightly and sobbed.

"How can you say that, Ichigo? How? How can you call all of us a part of your nightmare, when we're all so worried sick about you?!"

Ichigo continued to emptily look out of his window.

"Ichigo, come back, please!"

Komamura put a hand on Matsumoto's shoulder and shook his head.

"Believe it or not, we're making progress," Urahara spoke up, writing whatever Ichigo had said onto a note on his clipboard. "It won't be soon, but we're getting there."

As the adults slowly left his room, Ichigo continued his impassive stare.

All of a sudden, a white phantom of himself suddenly manifested in the room, and gazed at him with familiar gold-ringed eyes. It took several steps towards Ichigo.

It leered at him in a seemingly dissatisfied manner, with a challenge present in its eyes. It beckoned to Ichigo.

"Go away!" Ichigo yelled, but it only sneered in response and tugged at his mental consciousness.

A nurse who had been wheeling in clean sheets yelped as her usually calm and silent young patient began to shout.

"M-Mr. Kurosaki, are you alright?" She asked nervously from the door.

Ichigo looked at her with a plea in his entire being, "Help me."

The nurse ran calling shrilly for Doctor Urahara, as Ichigo promptly passed out on the floor, a deep pain in his chest and in his soul.


End file.
